"It was like a Hitchcock horror film. They simply pecked away!"
-A witness in Berlin describes a recent crow attack on a cyclist. As has become an annual occurrence, the arrival of spring to the German capital brings with it a rise in assaults on passersby as aggressive crows seek to protect their nests. One bird expert says concern about the avian bombardments is overblown, noting that, "the injuries are minimal, but nasty scrapes and blood make the attacks look more dramatic than they really are."
Thursday, May 27, 2010
14
I have heard similar descriptions after attacks by Balk's cock.
He simply peckers away!
Tippi Hedren couldn't walk for a week.
My theory is that Balk's cock was a manifestation of the mother's rage in that film.
That's a phallacy of logic.
Yeah, maybe it's just cheap mental masturbation.
Oh pipe down, Berlin. You want to see gruesome attacks? Try walking down the streets of San Juan Capistrano during a monarch butterfly migration.
Send some anxious, flustered chimps over to Berlin and see how fast the Germans welcome the bird attacks instead.
Those chimps just need some xanax and a chianti. Everything's going to be just fine. Don't you worry your pretty little head scrolly.
Digits, eyelids and noses were slowly falling by the wayside through evolution anyway. It's like hitting fast forward and getting there sooner.
"Attacks happen during breeding season, and crows have a natural instinct to protect their nests and young and to keep people at distance," Anja Sorges, the head of the Berlin office of the Nature and Biodiversity Conservation Union (NABU), said. "But they'll end as quickly and mysteriously as they began once their unwitting summoner, Annie Hayworth, is killed and after the haughty beauty and stylish-modernism of Melanie Daniels is reduced to little more than the vacant stare of a catatonic rag doll," she added.
YOU BROUGHT THEM HERE
We could say that about the Starlings, too.
Revenge of the Jews.