Wednesday, April 7th, 2010
17

Let's Celebrate The Last Civil War Before The Next One Starts

Good old boysPeople are all upset with Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell because he signed a proclamation celebrating Confederate History Month. The crux of their concern seems to be that the language in the proclamation makes no mention of slavery, but let's be fair: The Confederacy wasn't about slavery. It was about raising up arms against the government of the nation because certain states were upset by the results of a legitimate election. The whole point of the thing was the treason. The slave-owning was more of a side benefit.

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17 Comments / Post A Comment

oudemia (#177)

To be fair, who wouldn't want to become a traitor in defense of chattel slavery?

Baroness (#273)

The South was misconstrued by the liberal gazettes. They were defending their right to be chatty. Ever try to shut a Dixie belle up?

"Ah do de-CLAY-uh Maybelle, it's a FAHN day f'some treach'ry n' sedition! WAyuh did you get that pinahfoah, that Jew tailuh? Heah, have some sweet tea. So as I was sayin' to Lila Beth about that no-good Illinoyuh preznit…"

Matt (#26)

OH BOY, WE ARE GETTING RURAL VIRGINIA TRAVEL ADS FROM THE GOOGLE.

Murgatroid (#2,904)

I can't wait to meet Virginia.

cherrispryte (#444)

I am still confused as to why we did not let the South leave.

(I say this as a born and bred New Yorker who is unfortunately trapped south of the Mason Dixon line.)

HiredGoons (#603)

Because we wanted their carpets.

riotnrrd (#840)

..and bourbon.

Tulletilsynet (#333)

Sweetheart, Delta is ready when you are. You may feel trapped, but it's actually okay to go. Follow your bliss where it leads you and have a nice day.

oudemia (#177)

@Goons: Yes! We came with bags special for packing their carpets in.

What Would Cooter Do?

I can't wait to hear Glenn Beck argue that liberals are the reason slavery existed in the south. I love a good yarn.

HiredGoons (#603)

The best yarn is made from cotton.

Murgatroid (#2,904)

The fabric of our lives.

And to have enough cotton to spin the best yarn, you need A MILLION SLAVES, AH MAH GAH WE FIGURED IT OUT.

nloewen (#4,040)

According to "Lies My Teacher Told Me" (buy it and put money in my grubbing hand),
"History textbooks now admit that slavery was the primary cause of the Civil War … Before the civil rights movement, many textbooks held that almost anything else — differences over tariffs and internal improvements, blundering politicians, the conflict between the agrarian South and the industrial North — caused the war. … Before the 1960s publishers had been in thrall to the white South. In the 1920s Florida and other Southern states passed laws requiring 'Securing a Correct History of the U.S., Including a True and Correct History of the Confederacy.' Textbooks were even required to call the Civil War "the War between the States," as if no single nation had existed which the South had rent apart."

KarenUhOh (#19)

Tough shit, Virginia, there is a Commerce Clause.

very good, me likey.

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