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If You Are Still Alive In 2040 Then Cell Phones Are Probably Safe
If you're one of the many people with concerns about whether or not your cell phone will kill you with the cancer, there's good news on the research front: "Thousands of people are to be studied over the course of 20 or 30 years to see if the long-term use of mobile phones increases the risk of developing brain tumours and other medical disorders, as part of the largest ever study into the subject." So, you know, check back in three decades and we'll have a much better idea. Until then, gab away. We're all gonna die at some point anyway.
That radiation-spewing brick in your hand really doesn't matter in the long run, because this DEADLY TROPICAL FUNGUS is going to kill all of Seattle, San Francisco, and eventually all the rest of us like TOMORROW. AND it's going to kill all our kitties. Buy your respirator and oxygen tank now! Oh, and some guns, too. That'll help with the highway cannibals.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=126198896
Reading the latest issue of Harper's last night over three martinis made me *INCREASINGLY AGITATED*
http://harpers.org/archive/2010/05/0082932
It was the Indian food at the mall.
god slapped him in the head with a 2 x 4 made of fish vindaloo.
Since I use my phone to order in weed and pizzas, there should be studies of corollary risk.
Do you need a roommate?
You mean like, as a topping?
If cell phones cause cancer, then EVERYTHING causes cancer. Which I guess might explain why everybody keeps getting cancer?
I propose we start funding studies to find out what doesn't cause cancer. The only thing I can come up with, so far, is death.
Kittens don't cause cancer……………do they?
If you smoke them they do.
According to the Amercan Cancer Society, 4% of all cancer deaths have an environmental cause, and environmental includes both natural (say, radon) and man-made (say, vehicle exhaust or pesticides) pollutants. (I believe you have to tack on another 2% of those exposed at their jobs.) So, there, make of it what you will.
Oops, I meant 2% of cancer deaths have environmental causes in the general population, and another 4% from occupations.
Those who live the longest are the ones who never get any calls.
*sob*
And Choire, b/c he doesn't answer.
Does anyone even hold the phone up to their face anymore? I use maybe 4 minutes per month, but like 1800 text messages and 250 billion KB of data. Or something like that.
But do cell phones cause infertility? Because that'd be great.