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Evil Clown The Perfect Birthday Gift For Children Who Want To Crap Their Pants
Parents in Lucerne, Switzerland, wishing to give their offspring an extra-special birthday surprise are turning to actor Dominic Deville to deliver the goods. Deville "stalks young victims for a week, sending chilling texts, making prank phone calls and setting traps in letterboxes. He posts notes warning children they are being watched, telling them they will be attacked." When the attack does arrive, it is in the shape of a cake to the face, delivered by an evil clown. Deville notes that the stalking and scary note sending can be called off at any time, but that kids "love being scared senseless." Let's check back on the Lucerne area in about ten years from now and see how that all worked out, shall we?
OMG I am so glad they don't do this (to adults) (in Germany). I would be fucking terrified.
Germany has enough horrible, creepy things to keep you adults busy and scared.
I visited Lucerne two years ago, and the place was so boring I would have welcomed an evil clown stalking me.
This is opening up a new market for Death Bar; in terms of children in Switzerland emancipating from their parents.
'Bear' although Death Bar does sound rather appealing.
Death Bar is the one Davy Crockett killed when he was only 3.
I really want to open Death Bar now. And cover it in POSIES.
Omigod, I would like, totally hang out at Death Bar.
Special discount on shots.
I am thinking that this clown should have picked a country with tighter gun control laws.
I hope he takes the candles off first.
Also, this is just batshit crazy!
This lends itself to all sorts of mistaken identity comedic mishaps. Like tragedies befalling children, mostly.
The best sort of comic mishap involves a bucket of limbs and a basin of lye. Comedy gold.
i was specifically told there would be no clowns
Second tag is redundant.
A week of chilling text messages and prank phone calls ending in a surprise attack by an evil, bizarrely attired individual.
It's preparing children for online dating.
YES.
The clown texts are COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!
Wow, this is like THE WHITE RIBBON II. Those kids will end up conquering Europe.
That clown has evil gonorrhea.
How do you know that a text is coming from an evil clown, exactly? Are there evil-clown-specific smileys? Does it end all its texts with "HONKHONKSTAB"? Seriously, I NEED CLOSURE ON THIS ANECDOTE.
I don't know about the clown, but I FOR SURE will now start ending all my missives with HONKHONKSTAB.
A generation that wasn't exposed to It and Pennywise has to develop a crippling fear of clowns SOMEHOW.