Monday, April 5th, 2010
20

David Remnick: The Poem

Builds toys for orphans in his spare timeI learned a lot about New Yorker editor/Barack Obama biographer/S. I. Newhouse Jr. on-record compliment recipient David Remnick in today's Times profile. In fact, so moved was I by this piece and its appreciation of what appears to be the most beloved man in the industry that I decided it merited a poem. Would you like to read it? I bet you would!

David Remnick: American Giant

David Remnick writes and edits
In his spare time he reports
Those are just three of his credits
He's got talents of all sorts

David Remnick trimmed his budget
Saved his staff from major cuts
He's a hero-let's not fudge it-
A mensch! This ain't some Conde putz

David Remnick, unpretentious,
Skips the Conde bigwig haunts
Takes the subway, shuns the limelight
Eats at average restaurants

David Remnick's sole frustration
Comes from overheated prose
He won't sleep or take vacation
Ask his wife! She really knows

David Remnick soothes his writers
Treats each one with charm and grace
If you are in town on business
You can stay at David's place

David Remnick walks on water
Which should come as no surprise
Raise your head and look above you
David Remnick even flies

20 Comments / Post A Comment

Mar (#2,357)

Scan, baby, scan!

Tulletilsynet (#333)

Yeah, it's not that hard, right? I was singing along merrily on Balk's text to the tune of "Deck the Halls," the way I always do, and then I hit line eight … I was so embarrassed in front of all those sub sales guys! (Awkward silence, and then: "Who's David Remnick?" Still blushing!)

Tulletilsynet (#333)

But it's still great, especially strophe 5.

Mar (#2,357)

Yes. Love the "average," which forces a pronunciation dripped in British hauteur.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

Average.

Astigmatism (#1,950)

Nick Denton just fired David Remnick.

hockeymom (#143)

Walking on water is no substitute for page views.
Duh.

jolie (#16)

Less poetry, more strident-y please

Tulletilsynet (#333)

No way, girl. Balk poem in every newsletter.

jolie (#16)

No Balk in newsletter at all, please.

barnhouse (#1,326)

I would love to see this illustrated by Edward Gorey.

sailor (#396)

Genius! And none too cruel either, which would most nasties would have been hoping for. One thing: Ouest isn't exactly average, certainly in terms of price if not the quality of the food.

sailor (#396)

Previous: strike the first "would."

Jesus. When am I going to come down?

Balk, I must applaud your choice of trochaic tetrameter for the poem's meter. It really helps underscore the epic and laudatory tone of the piece in a way that an iambic meter never could, IMHO.

Tulletilsynet (#333)

On the other hand, until you get to that first masculine ending, you kind of have this "Gitche-Gumee" thing lurking in the back of your mind …

Yes – Hiawatha! That's exactly what I mean!

LET US ALL PRAISE HIAWATHA!!

Tulletilsynet (#333)

All the unseen spirits help me;
I can hear their voices calling,
All around the sky I hear them:
I can blow you strong, my brother,
I can heal you, Hiawatha!

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

BIG SIGH

NominaStultorum (#1,638)

"Let us all praise Hiawatha" being trochaic tetrameter its own damn self, well played.

TehTroll (#2,025)

I love your poetry Balk. Fuck the meter, it's the blue in the blue sky. The sky is falling, and your readers want to know the Pantone number.

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