Thursday, April 29th, 2010
6

Burger King Now Serving Breakfast Late

Apparently this is now our most recognizable cultural reference pointBurger King is doing its part to help accelerate our country's incipient extinction-through-obesity program by bringing brunch-a meal heretofore only available to sophisticated metropolitans like the ladies from "Sex and the City" (this was the actual example provided by CNN)-to its customer base of slovenly, ill-mannered buffoons whose lack of proper dentistry makes the concept of "chicken fries" both palatable and easy on the gums. But how will the company be able to educate a clientele which is surely ignorant of customary brunch refinements such as "napkins" and "salad forks," that there is more to a meal than an overheated patty of gristle and cow anus quickly washed down with a chocolate-seeming substance that has been thickened with potato starch? By mixing the exotic with the familiar.

The menu is set to feature a breakfast sandwich of eggs, cheese, tomato, ham, bacon and smoky tomato sauce served on Ciabatta bread, Whoppers (which are not usually available in the morning) and the BK Mimosa — a nonalcoholic version of the classic cocktail with Sprite standing in for the traditional champagne.


Sacrilege! The idea that the Mimosa, that elite, urbane concoction-the nectar of the upper class, the ambrosia of the aristocracy-should be shared with the Nickelback-loving plebes in even a bastardized form such as this is horrifying. I hope the gentry responds by adopting a sacred dining custom of the lower orders and turning it into something it can call its own. I suggest le repas quatrième.

6 Comments / Post A Comment

Andy Rosenberger (#3,872)

When I saw this headline on Twitter, I thought it was gonna say that BK was gonna serve regular breakfast until like 2, every day. I literally jumped out of my seat. The reality of it still has me excited.

Isn't this Cho's beat?

NicFit (#616)

gay

petejayhawk (#1,249)

Alex Balk is the co-editor of The Awl and he eats a LOT. The Awl has no financial arrangements with Burger King or its parent company Burger King Holdings Corporation.

Raymond Malloy (#4,682)

Finally a chance to wear my tuxedo shirt

hazmathilda (#839)

CHICKEN FRIES. I split a 36-pack of those with a friend one afternoon. No regrets (live fast, die young)

Pandemic Endemic (#3,825)

You forgot to mention the new BK Bloody Mary, made from ketchup with a pickle chip garnish.

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