Wednesday, March 17th, 2010

Your Grizzled Beard: Is It Hurting Someone You Lick?

It is buried deep within the nether regions of a piece on The New Floppiness-supposedly the most recent trend in male grooming-so you may very well have missed this rather important bulletin. Pay attention, beard-wearers: "Of course, the grizzled look poses its own perils, like a certain prickliness during one act of love." In case that is still too obscure for you, we'll just put it out there: She's talking about cunnilingus. It's a valuable lesson, but not exactly a new one. As Dorothy Parker so famously put it, "Men with soul patches are rough on girls' snatches." Now you have no excuse for not knowing!


14 Comments / Post A Comment

Maevemealone (#968)

Long beards are actually easy on the girl parts, the longer hair is softer. A freshly trimmed mustache is a bit prickly on the lips but still manageable. The in between stubbly beards, yes those are a face full of rash for a girl. Go all the way or go home and shave. OH most importantly, wash a full beard with a good soap and get the suds down to the skin, it's gross to kiss a face that smells like dirty hair.
The End.

"Men with stubble can cause twat-scratching trouble."

Art Yucko (#1,321)

"Coques with chin-feathers doth chafe m'lady's 'nethers"

I can't believe this is the first Awl post with a "cunnilingus" tag.

The Awl only does cunnilingus once a year, I guess.

jolie (#16)

It must be our birthday!

City_Dater (#2,500)

Or New Year's Eve!

NominaStultorum (#1,638)

It's St. Vag Tricks Day.

Dudes, however, aren't as picky about a fellatio giver's grooming habits.

garge (#736)

I can't feel a thing through my dental dam :(

whygreenberg (#1,880)

…since "part of being artistic is not really giving a shit."


So Abe is the Awl's men's grooming vanguard?

Abe Sauer (#148)

They better hope not.

Wait wait wait, I can't keep up. Is shaved in or out, ladies?

jolie (#16)

Oh man, can I just say? That I really hope this whole chest shaving business comes to an end soon. One – because fur is hot (hardy-har-har see what I etc.) and two – because OUCH NIPPLE CHAFE.

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