14
Your Grizzled Beard: Is It Hurting Someone You Lick?
It is buried deep within the nether regions of a piece on The New Floppiness-supposedly the most recent trend in male grooming-so you may very well have missed this rather important bulletin. Pay attention, beard-wearers: "Of course, the grizzled look poses its own perils, like a certain prickliness during one act of love." In case that is still too obscure for you, we'll just put it out there: She's talking about cunnilingus. It's a valuable lesson, but not exactly a new one. As Dorothy Parker so famously put it, "Men with soul patches are rough on girls' snatches." Now you have no excuse for not knowing!
Long beards are actually easy on the girl parts, the longer hair is softer. A freshly trimmed mustache is a bit prickly on the lips but still manageable. The in between stubbly beards, yes those are a face full of rash for a girl. Go all the way or go home and shave. OH most importantly, wash a full beard with a good soap and get the suds down to the skin, it's gross to kiss a face that smells like dirty hair.
The End.
"Men with stubble can cause twat-scratching trouble."
"Coques with chin-feathers doth chafe m'lady's 'nethers"
I can't believe this is the first Awl post with a "cunnilingus" tag.
The Awl only does cunnilingus once a year, I guess.
It must be our birthday!
Or New Year's Eve!
It's St. Vag Tricks Day.
Dudes, however, aren't as picky about a fellatio giver's grooming habits.
I can't feel a thing through my dental dam :(
…since "part of being artistic is not really giving a shit."
ugh.
So Abe is the Awl's men's grooming vanguard?
They better hope not.
Wait wait wait, I can't keep up. Is shaved in or out, ladies?
Oh man, can I just say? That I really hope this whole chest shaving business comes to an end soon. One – because fur is hot (hardy-har-har see what I etc.) and two – because OUCH NIPPLE CHAFE.