Are ladies leaving New York because the city's men refuse to settle down? That's the premise of this piece in the Post, which posits that the paucity of paramours prepared to propose perplexes and perturbs their presumptive partners, prompting them to pack it in for more promising provinces.
"The dating scene in New York is like Neverland – guys never have to grow up because the dating pool is so big for them," says Christine G., a 30-year-old publicist who lives in Chelsea and didn't want her full last name published. "If someone better-looking comes along, they're moving on."While evidence for this trend is highly anecdotal, it is a scientific fact that every woman wants to get married and will stop at nothing to achieve that goal, including pulling up stakes and heading out to the less competitive areas of the country where the men are more easily tricked into submission. So there may very well be something to it. The good news, however, is that most of the women quoted in the article are in their 30s or over-or, as Science refers to them, "crones"-which means that if they do leave they are freeing up space for a new crop of hot young twenty-somethings who are already conditioned by the gender imbalances they experienced at college to put up with pretty much anything, from sitting around watching you play videogames to performing the most degrading sexual acts invented by the Japanese porn industry, just so they can say they have a man. It really is the greatest city in the world! (If you have a penis.)In fact, dating in NYC can be so brutal that many women are calling the city quits, convinced their love lives can make it anywhere but here. Devastated by a recent breakup, Christine has set a ticking clock on her tryst with the Big Apple. She has two years to find a serious beau – or find a new hometown.
What, she won't degrade herself while I'm playing video games? NEXTED!
Article fails to mention that 80% of the devastating breakups suffered by women in New York are caused by Alex Balk.
That woman in the article has a face like a backstop. She should move to a retreat for the blind for spouse.
She is also a little on the chunky side. She should probably move to Detroit or maybe Minneapolis.
I'm hoping she doesn't think she's going to find a husband in that tent of a sweater.
I thought, man, that is one vicious dude posting those mean comments.
Then I clicked through.
Carry on.
God, remember back when Cintra Wilson went to J. C. Penney and everyone flipped out because she said the mannequins were fat?
Yeah, me neither. Also, the squinchy-face photo pose is always false advertising.
Wait, "would-be" can totally be replaced by "potential"! That would be the kind of alliteration that makes my whole day.
I wish I were exaggerating.
I like "presumptive."
Never let it be said that I do not give the people what they want.
Yessssssssss.
"Christine G., a 30-year-old publicist who lives in Chelsea and didn't want her full last name published."
If she wants to be anonymous, why did she allow the Post to publish her photograph? Is she wearing a mask in that picture? (For her sake, I hope the answer is "yes.")
I didn't mean for the comment above to appear as a reply. I don't know how that happened!
Isn't this complaint the same in every big city? Even America's Sweetheartâ„¢ can't seem to find a good man...
Everyone tells me Chicago is where the nice guys are. It's a very long cold wintery gamble to take though.
Chicago is benefiting from climate change - increased precipitation is making winters warmer and summers cooler. Chicago will thrive while NYC and LA go the way of Atlantis.
JP, you are in Chicago? And are something of a classicist? Hmm.
Oudemia, yes, north side now! Classics in college, grad school to study even deader languages - in hindsight, should have focused on historical linguistics. Live and learn.
I SMELL ROMANCE!!!
I used to live in Andersonville (grad school on the south side). Are you OI? Goons, you know my heart is yours.
OK THEN!
Who's Theseus and who's Adriane?
Thank goodness, I thought I was going to have to go pick up an ice pick.
Andersonville the Civil War prison?!? You poor thing. (Sorry, American History major back a hundred years ago).
Wasn't that in Georgia?
What are you saying about "The small-town charm of Chicago's Andersonville neighborhood!"?
Hey, I'm willing to get dumped on an island if it means I get to run away with Dionysos!
Yes, OI! At least I was. Are you down there now?
No, I teach in NYC now. It's entirely probable that we know some of the same people, since as you know there are certain number of classics or PAMW folks who hang around the OI (not me, but friends of mine!). Huh!
Ha! One of my favorite classes were with Faraone! Small world.
On my committee! Wacky.
A class action suit has been filed against HBO by all these women as 1) There is no Mr. Big. 2) They can't have one-bedroom West Village apartments. 3) Magnolia cupcakes are awful.
If you're going to be a big-city-dream crusher: Additionally, there is no Aidan, Steve, Harry Rosenblatt, or Smith Jerrod, and a columnist for a tabloid daily does not make enough money to own 40+ pairs of Manolos for which she appears to have paid full price.
Rod.
I love you.
As spokesperson for both the good ones and the taken, let me just say that all the good ones are taken.
Hey Knee! The meeting's next week, right?
Glut of P's!
Plethora!
"She has two years to find a serious beau - or find a new hometown."
THANK GOD she's secure enough to not base her happiness on the approval of OTHERS.
IAWTC.
I'm sure the guys in her new hometown will love the way she bitches about how crappy all the guys are in New York. No better way to find a partner than complain incessantly.
P is for...
Christine G.'s boyfriend took the break-up much harder.
LOVE that they suggest Los Angeles as a viable alternative. Because the majority of folks here are so grounded and ready to commit. Ha!
My thought exactly, Tipsy! Stephanie apparently lucked out and found the one honest, grounded guy in LA.
I won't be satisfied until the Internet has figured out her last name, located her Facebook page and the Twitter account of at least one ex who claims she can't find a hubby because she has a floppy woo.
*if you say floppy woo 3x, FEK appears
She does seem to be blaming "men" and "New York" for what may just be her personal shortcomings? Oh and the attitude and the sourpuss can't be helping.
There are too many people listening in my conversations at bars and then writing articles about it.
She probably just gives bad head.
I bet she's a teether.
Well MY (soon-to-be-ex) wife just threw away a perfectly usable husband. So explain THAT to me! I told her there were husbandless women all over this city, just like there are those starving kids in India. She was unmoved. The Post should interview me. Or her. Whichever makes a better trend piece.
If you post your grievances on Facebook, the Times will be glad to interview you both!
Hah! We actually had a discussion about dealing with Facebook. Also, since I initially forgot to take the wedding album down, I got a nice note from an old professor saying he'd seen my FB profile and the wedding photos and how beautiful my wife was and how lucky I am. That gave me a sad. :(
Technology makes things complicated. When I split up with a girlfriend we had a drinking competition to see who got to keep our favoriate bar.
This is why I want gay marriage.
Did the drinking competition take place in the prize bar itself? Because that is awesome.
But who won?!
Yes! I demand closure on this anecdote!
Also, were there parameters? Did you drink the same drinks? Could you phone a friend, or poll the bartenders?
That's genius. I'd like to resolve all of life's disputes with a drinking contest.
I can see a few edge cases that are probably not best solved with a drinking contest ("Oh, you say you're more drunk than me? Let's settle this with a drinking contest!"), but on the whole it sounds like a good plan.
"The dating scene in New York is like Neverland" ... wow, talk about brutal. I mean, leathery-skinned reptilian characters who skulk around virile younger men, accompanied only by the ticking of their (biological) clocks -- that's more of an L.A. thing, right?
A mix of the Tim Burton/Jackson version, not the Disney one.
Yes, that would be my dating life. However I don't care much about procreating. I'm just a leathery-skinned reptile on the prowl for young flesh. Thankfully the entertainment and porn industries supply a never ending stream of fresh meat.
I'm getting a flash of Cabana Chat with Dixie Wetsworth. You like? I liiiike.
Excuse me it's pool boy's dance time.
Video, plz, kitten...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opM49V9Fa6Q
Yay, thanks!
So what is up with all these lumpish desperate dudes in their 40s I seem to meet? Why doesn't Christine G. marry one of them? Could it be because she doesn't really exist?
I call bullshit. Marriage is way better for men than it is for women and the guys are freaking out because we're starting to realize this.
Keep that up and we'll take your property rights back.
I was just talking to someone about all the lumpish desperate dudes, and I was worried I sounded mean. I may be mean, but I'm not alone.
OR...maybe he's just not that into you. Oh, and you are trying too hard.
YES on the trying too hard. Calm yourselves, ladies.
Heteros are so amusing.
Lacking Leather Bears,and other such mammals we have to keep ourselves amused somehow.
I love the Post's bi-annual "Shallow Idiot Males in New York Don't Want to Commit" story and the accompanying "Shallow Idiot Females in New York Annoyed at the Males." The pictures are great too. Because they do that freeze-frame thing, like the woman is looking at me and saying, "riiight, ladies? You know it." And I nod, because I do.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm lame because I'm 35 and I still want to have fun and bone some hot people. Which has absolutely NOTHING to do with a debilitating fear of intimacy. So, thanks for reminding me that I'm AWESOME because I don't participate in this pointless charade.
I made this same calculation 30 years ago. I guess nothing's changed. I moved upstate, married a year later, and had two babies. It never would have happened if I stayed. Now I'm back and you could not PAY me to get married again. After 3 marriages, I am off men. It's like after you eat a rotten peanut....
The article closes with that lovely "put yourself out there" platitude. YAWN.