Hey now, really, to whom are all these people talking on their phones, all the time, behind the wheel, and in these stores and behind me and even in more improbable places, such as at the pedicurist's? Are you on the phone that much? Do you people not have text messages or something? I personally have answered my phone to only two people in the last sixteen days, and then I don't know who the rest of these people are (sorry, I don't know what the numbers are, and their attending people), and so I let it go to voicemail, except I keep my voicemail full, because I don't want any more voicemails. The voicemails I already have aren't doing much for me really. And is there some kind of phone that is just like, text and web and email and stupid apps but no actual telephone system? (Maybe just an emergency dial out thing? You know, for when I'm... hiking. And there are bears. (??)) But that wasn't what I was writing to say. My actual question was: is it appropriate for a man in his mid-late 30s to put "Telephone" on said outgoing voicemail, which then is followed by the phone company voice saying "Sorry, this voicemail box is full?" Today I might need a few cheap laughs like that. I might actually sit and stare at my phone and dare it to ring all day long.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
48
Sorry, I'm not taking any posts today, Choire.
Thank you, Choire. I hate the fucking phone. And I hate it more now because, ever since I trained friends and family to email or text me instead, I know that any actual calls are most likely from companies I owe money to, and lord knows I'm not answering THOSE. Now, every time the phone rings, I feel not only hatred but guilt and a deep sense of lost potential. So if you ever find one of them phoneless phones, text me, ok?
Glad to know I'm not alone! That "aww fuck" moment when the music fades to silence only to be replaced by my evil iPhone ring tone. Worse yet, I started having that feeling when I heard the ring tone on TV.
This. So much this.
I thought I was the only one allergic to phones! I'm glad to know there's a whole community of phone avoiders.
@forget it:
Yes!! A thousand times yes. I hate talking on the phone (like everyone here apparently?), and also cringe at novelty ringtones. Therefore I have the standard iPhone old-timey ringtone and cannot watch pre-1990 movies or TV anymore because my blood pressure goes up every time the phone rings in TV land and I HATE IT I HATE IT I'M JUST TRYING TO RELAX GODDAMN IT JUST MAKE IT STOP.
Actually, the sound of a telephone ringing is sometimes subtly added to film soundtracks specifically because it agitates the audience! I think Herzog did it first and it's brilliant.
For a good long while I had the revenge fanfare from Kill Bill set as my ringtone. (I guess that's a novelty? Sorry Choire.) Then when I watched the movie again, the tenor of the murder scenes had totally changed.
This comment is obviously hours late, but talking to someone you like land-line to land-line still can be a quite pleasant experience. Voices and meaningful pauses and all. Cell phones are what suck.
Nearly thirty years ago--big sigh--I took my first intern's job with some crazy fucker. The first thing he did was he handed me a pager. It was about the size of a G.I. Joe walkie talkie. "Keep this on at all times," he said.
"Like in class, too?" I asked.
"ALL times."
"If I'm in bed?"
"Do you want this job?"
"Sure."
So, I took the job. But I didn't turn the pager on in class. Or in bed. Or, like, when I was doing important stuff--like taking a bath. Or making chili. Or making out. Or thinking about making out.
"I tried paging you," he said once. "How the fuck come you didn't call?"
"I was busy. And, if you think I'm having some joy buzzer go off in front of 100 of my fellow students, you're a lunatic."
It didn't work. He didn't fire me for 3 years.
Funny you should write this, I was going to call you today. NOW I KNOW.
I knew it was a red flag when I learned the cultural climate of my (sigh .. current) workplace expected phone calls over email, interdepartmental-wise. I shudder to think.
Remember a time when people just casually answered ringing stationary fixtures, without even a clue to who was calling? GAH
Ugh. I work with someone who prioritizes voicemail over everything. Really? Place-based communication? Do I look like a potted plant?
We have a land-line (!) and it doesn't have caller ID (!!).
+10
I would add it as a ringback tone as well. Everyone loves those.
"mid-late 30s" is really the cutest way of saying 38 ever.
This was one of my favorite recurring bits in the script for "Hedwig and the Angry Inch."
(And I like it here, too.)
My feelings of isolation and loneliness are sometimes magnified when I'm in a public place and everyone is on the damn phone and I'm not. Really people, think about the depressed.
I find that by having few to no friends, I get few to no phone calls. But, really, I would like to know, what did all you ladies do while you drove around before you had cell phones. Your productivity must be through the roof.
We put on mascara.
We pondered ways to belittle each other and make men buy us presents.
Thank god your all such good multi-taskers, because you wouldn't want to give up any of these.
you're
[homophone pun]
I get called out at work for never checking my voicemail. You know, the mass email stating they now send vm to our email because people are clogging up the vm boxes and they KNOW WHO WE ARE. And by we, I mean me. I never answer the phone. That's also how I weed out my friends; if that upsets them, we aren't friends.
This! I'm actually planning to change my work voicemail's outgoing message to request that people email me instead of leaving a message.
you know what is a great thing? Google voice - it translates your voicemail to barely comprehensible texts! it's nice because at least you know what someone had to say before you didn't call them back.
And I was just this morning walking to work and wondering if it was acceptable for an early-lower-mid-30s man to have 'Telephone' as his outgoing voicemail recording. Also, TOPICAL: http://langer.tumblr.com/post/99476707
I enjoyed this.
My dad beat you on this by several decades. In his immortal words from 1977: "Just because the phone rings, it doesn't mean you have to answer it."
I am a veteran eavesdropper of cell-phone conversations, and they really are as stupid as you all think. In fact, I have never heard one that was smart and not whiney/complainy/bitchy/pleading.
CELL PHONES ARE OUTLETS FOR NEEDINESS.
I think this is the correct answer. People who need attention will find a way to get it; cell phones are just another means. These are the same people who engage in VERY LOUD INANE SMALLTALK on the subway and make up reasons to bother salespeople/waitstaff. Now they make up reasons to call people (and, incidentally, demand the attention of everyone around them, with loudness).
This thing! I hate it. I'm pretty composed, and when something doesn't go my way, I'm an 'aw, drat!' kinda guy. On to the next thing, spilled milk and all that. Some people just love REACTING TO THINGS and I fucking hate it. I feel like some people even walk and close doors or yawn or press buttons in ways solely designed for me to 'notice they're alive'.
"And is there some kind of phone that is just like, text and web and email and stupid apps but no actual telephone system?"
Based on the complaints of everyone I know, you just described an AT&T-linked iPhone.
yes, was thinking this very thing.
another option might be an ipod with skype, or one of those ipads?
So when HiredGoons says '*call me' no one ever calls him? That's sad.
We all call, but he doesn't answer.
What a moment. Thank you. I'm not alone. I feel...connected to you all somehow.
And yes, please, the non-phone phone would be MOST WELCOME.
Oo this makes me feel so very L.A. and isolated, out here in the sunshine where I love for my phone to ring (= Sousa march from Monty Python titles, but am thinking of switching to the theme song from Dynasty.) It's illegal to talk while you drive, these days (unfortunately! I hate wearing that stupid ear thing which interferes with my sunglasses!)
Yes, there is, to answer the nonrhetorical question in the post. Most U.S. carriers, including AT&T, offer data-only plans for deaf people who have no use for a voice telephone. I think it's just easier to ignore the phone when it silently rings.
I have, once again, just witnessed, the most disgusting phenomenon of the era of ubiquitous contact: The Middle Stall Conversation.
They were, apparently, talking about doing a deal. The caller, I can confidently report, delivered the goods. Several times.
Happily, I was able to supply the punctuation and leave.
I have so very many issues with phone calls!!! Mostly the same as all listed above. I actually stopped talking to one of my best friends for 6 months due to her tendency to call me while she drove home from work just bc she was bored OR to yell at me about the traffic she was stuck in. She actually left me 8 voicemails once saying "Hi, call me back". When I finally im'd her and said, what the fuck is this all for? "Oh, I wanted to know if you wanted to come over for dinner" GAAAAAH!!! I now use google voice to get some interpretation of what people are calling me for (I often forget I actually have to call back if important, not email) and I've changed my ringtone to yes, a novelty one, that I like so much I'd rather listen to my phone ring through to voicemail than answer it. But, yeah, nobody calls me.
I have one of those. Unfortunately she's hours in the future so I'm always deep in work, or should be deep in work, when she calls. Because I never pick up, she then leaves many "just want to know you're alive" messages. I only know that because now I have some kind of visual voicemail.
Sounds like "Science" should do a "study" to come up with some sort of ratio equating/disassociating phone answering with/from life satisfaction, income, spiritual growth, etc. You know ... all of those things I don't have or do.
My cell phone is used for one purpose only, to call the wife and let her know I'm coming home after a night out drinking.
Of course being married going out and getting drunk rarely happens so my phone bill only ever shows 5 minutes usage in a month.
Really, what the fuck is everyone else talking about all the time?
According to my non-scientific sample, what kind of milk to get at the store, when So-and-so talked smack about Whatzername omigod, and the-plane-just-landed-I'll-call-you-from-baggage-claim.
How do you feel about Twitter Whores?
*call me