Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010

33 Comments / Post A Comment

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

Reading this, I feel the same stinging discomfort that always accompanies a Flava Flav pronouncement, or a Carlos Mencia joke. Yesterday, I didn't have a word for this "you're making the rest of you look bad and you don't even know it" feeling. Today, I have "ethernal jelousy."

Thank you, commenter. Thank you.

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

(It's pronounced "a-THUR-nul juh-LOOS-i", btw.)

kneetoe (#1,881)

Yes, I'm ethernally jelous about how the ladies know how to stick together. This is why the men don't have a chance.

Bittersweet (#765)

I'm getting estrogen poisoning just from that comment and am actually ethernally jelous of guy friendships and the lack of 'social weapons' therein.

City_Dater (#2,500)

Clearly, Bittersweet, you have never watched men size up each others' cars/girlfriends/electronic equipment. Even as this spelling challenged crazy broad waves her ring, her intended is narrowing his eyes and thinking "I have the largest flat screen on the block. I rule the universe."

janine (#248)

…and dudes will abandon each other when drunk. "Ah, leave him. He's fine." "Wait, draw some balls on his face in sharpie first." Us ladies, by contrast, tend to roll in tight formation.

Bittersweet (#765)

Clearly, City Dater and janine, I have been rolling with the wrong ladies. Or the right guys.

KarenUhOh (#19)

Someone fell into DeBeers.

HiredGoons (#603)

Zales, I'm sure.

SemperBufo (#1,849)

I thought there might be something here about "deBeers goggles," but you got there first.

Dickdogfood (#650)

You're getting a tin foil with Fruity Pebbles where gems should be, and you're gonna like it.

Dickdogfood (#650)

A tin foil RING. God, why do I bother?

brad (#1,678)

i know. i get soooo excited when i think i have something amusing to add. then i fuck it all up by typing too fast and hitting 'submit' for i've ch

Kataphraktos (#226)

Picture caption: "It was this tiny, but I still managed to bite it off. Like this!" *CHOMP*

Mindpowered (#948)

Of course there is no point ladies. She has 23 million carats of diamonds.

http://www.republicofmining.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/xxx-diamond-two-final.jpg

jhg (#1,366)

Ha! My wifey got a nice sized rock, but doesn't wear it, because it gets stuck on stuff. What does that mean?

AlltheRage (#755)

She sold it for cash to support her , replaced it with cubic zirconia and is afraid to wear it as everyone (well, women) will notice it is a fake.

Sweetie (#519)

She's probably cheating on you? I mean, that's the rule that applies to men who refuse to wear wedding rings, right?

Right, I'm guessing she's cheating, too. Sorry, jhg!

Onjay (#2,679)

Not even women can tell the difference between a good CZ and a real diamond without using a loupe. So get a CZ, save the money, and if some old bag shows up with loupe in hand, just tell her to fuck off.

Unless you're too rich to give a crap, the whole 'big rock' story is as big a crock as the spurious need to spend $40,000+ on a wedding.

jolie (#16)

@jhg: It means that she doesn't agree with your assessment that it is "a nice sized rock"

I was diligently trying to learn the details of wedding rings – clarity, color, etc. – and then my (future) wife called me and said, Honey I found a great antique ring in the diamond district for $675 and bought it.

Several years later she realized that wedding rings are supposed to be indicators of social status.

Bittersweet (#765)

My husband and I failed to get that memo too, formerly. Apparently I'm supposed to be ashamed of the 1/2 carat (or whatever) my man bought me while a struggling grad student lo these many years ago, and pestering him for the replacement ring.

the teeth (#380)

If he loved you, you wouldn't have to ask. Jeesh.

the teeth (#380)

Also: is $675 inexpensive?? It seems that every day I find something new to confuse and sadden.

synchronia (#3,755)

So then she divorced you, right?

If you stayed married for life and you passed your ring on to your child that is dirt cheap. But it's still fairly cheap for an engagement ring.

Tuna Surprise (#573)

I knew I should've said "no" to my ex-husband when he proposed with a $40,000 tulip bulb that turned out to be just as worthless as the marriage. Next time I holding out for blood diamonds.

hockeymom (#143)

Mine is largish. And set in gold, lots of gold…which was SO in at the time and not so in, now.

When it was presented to me, on bended knee, the first thing that went thru my mind was "how in the hell did he afford THIS?" That was the question until I looked at the ring closely. Actually, not so closely. There's a giant, black flaw in the middle of the diamond. The kind of flaw that would immediately rule the diamond out for most people and probably makes the stone worth about 2 bucks and change. But my husband was so excited that he found a "really big diamond that shows how much he loves me" that he didn't ask any questions about the low, low price tag.

And as long as I'm doing my ethernal waving from a great distance away, I'm sure I'm causing women across the country to swoon in jealousy.

(and this is reason number 27-billion why I love my husband. he doesn't know shit about diamonds, but his heart is in the right place.)

HiredGoons (#603)

Awww.

Bittersweet (#765)

Courage, hockeymom! Someday people will look back on the big platinum-set, three-stone monstrosities of today and think, Wow, so 2009. So keep waving with pride.

blily (#1,411)

Women can certainly be competitive with each other, often in ridiculous ways over really absurd things, but the use of word "females" as a synonym for "women" in an anonymous internet forum generally raises my suspicion that the writer in question is, in fact, a man.

Beth Jenkins (#4,145)

we've already covered the reasons why you're a chump to even consider getting married to the Feminist State (at least until the Feminist marriage/divorce laws change to reflect justice).. but you're an even bigger chump to buy a rock. if a woman can't marry you wearing a plain wedding band, then she's not fit to be married in the first place. any marriage that centers around a woman's vanity in lieu of your male authority is in big trouble right out of the starting gate. http://manhood101.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=2173

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