What else does Science have for us today? "If you want to live to a grand old age, then smile – and make sure you mean it. Pro baseball players in the 1950s who genuinely beamed in their official photographs tended to outlive more sullen-looking sportsmen and those who put on fake smiles. Players from the US major league with honest grins lived an average of seven years longer than players who didn't smile for the camera and five years longer than players who smiled unconvincingly, conclude Ernest Abel and Michael Kruger at Wayne State University in Detroit, Michigan."
Friday, March 5, 2010
15
Those whose batted over .265 lived an average of nine years longer than their light-hitting teammates. Unless they played for the Angels.
"who," of course, and oh, never mind, I'll go back to my cartoons.
Wipe that smile off your face, Jim Bunning.
Jim Bunning hasn't smiled in ten months.
Yes, all those smiling, happy people live longer, but we unsmiling folk are a hell of a lot more creative.
Would like to see smiles vs. batting average, though. Maybe their amiability masked ineptitude.
So ... Kevin Millar will live forever and Nomar Garciappara has been dying a bone fracture at a time for years now.
Makes sense.
Never trust any report whose bibliography consists exclusively of "Wikipedia" and "my baseball card collection."
And Dizzy Dean is *still alive*!
Joe DiMaggio's smile is frozen.
Ted Williams?
GOD. I knew I shouldn't have eaten those green Wheaties. Just freeze me NOW.
And why were they smiling? Because they just got blowjobs! There's your corollary.
This explains the mysterious 1954 death of Cincinnati Reds pitcher Cyril "Grimace" Horchow, who collapsed and died immediately after his baseball card picture was taken.
So where does this leave Billy Ripken?