Send In The Ursine Parachute Brigade!
"Bears have scent detection that is far superior to bloodhounds! Trained bears with GPS and day/night cameras around their necks might be able to hunt down the scent of [Osama bin Laden], even in and through any caves and tunnels!!! Overnight, Parachute some bears into areas [bin Laden] might be. Attempt to train bears to take off parachutes after landing, or use parachutes that self-destruct after landing."
-This selection of suggestions received by the Department of Defense through the "Contact us" feature of its website offers a fascinating look into the minds of your fellow Internet surfers. See also: "Has anyone at the Department if Defense noticed that the Twin Towers were destroyed on 9/11, and that when you dial emergency services in the USA you dial 911? If so, is this merely a coincidence" [Via]
they'll just end up at Kandahar's only leather bar to stand around and bitch that there's not enough britney being played.
You don't think he's got his own bears who would smell our bears coming? Well you're wrong.
Sharks have an even better sense of smell than bears! Why don't we Operation Dumbo Drop some motherfuckin sharks on his ass??
Yeah, with lasers!!!!
I'm really surprised that honey bee idea went nowhere. Surely someone smarter than me could figure out how to combine the parachuting bears and honey bees? These are two things with one thing in common…
You want to send in Beyonce?!
The best part is: basically every major scientific institution receives insane letters just like these on a daily basis. Consider it a not-so-mute testimony to The Insanity That Lies Beneath American Productivity, Etc.
Duh. Bears have a thing for poppies and would damage the poppy crop. Poppie futures would plummet. The CIA would lose millions in the heroin trade. Duh.