I guess if you were a paroled bank robber facing new charges of eluding police, aggravated assault on a civilian, carjacking, aggravated assault on a police officer, disarming a police officer, resisting arrest, harming a law-enforcement animal, unlawful possession of a weapon, possession of prohibited, hollow-nose bullets and possession of a weapon by a convicted felon, and you're from the Jersey Shore, you might get into court and just say fuck it, imagine yourself as Bon Jovi singing at a deserted drive-in theater atop a mesa in the Moab Desert, and go out in a blaze of glorious mayhem.
The defendant, 41-year-old Neptune resident Anthony Montgomery, smacked his own attorney, deputy assistant public defender Philip Pagano, in the face yesterday morning in a Toms River courtroom. Later, after being tackled and subdued by four sheriff's officers, as he was being led out of the courtroom in shackles, he somehow managed to pick up a microphone stand and threw it at the lawyer.
The trial stems from an incident in 2008 when Montgomery led police on 16-minute chase from Tinton Falls to Neptune during which he is alleged to have crashed into one civilian motorist, attempted to pull another civilian out of another vehicle, punched a police dog and a police sergeant, and attempted to steal another police officer's gun. That's right: he punched a police dog. I haven't heard of that kind of mayhem since last summer, when that guy punched the cop's horse at Lollapalooza.
...he is alleged to have crashed into one civilian motorist, attempted to pull another civilian out of another vehicle, punched a police dog and a police sergeant, and attempted to steal another police officer's gun.
I'm trying to figure out whether he was tripping that he was Batman or the protagonist of a Grand Theft Auto game.
And he did all that while driving his car. That's at least 3 points.
Wait, dude is from Neptune? My defense in his shoes would be "Your honor, your Earthling legal system has no jurisdiction over me. I can only be tried in the methane-rich atmosphere of my home planet."
"It is hard for me to appreciate the gravity of these court proceedings, coming from a planet whose gravity is 12% more powerful than your puny Earth's."
What, no couch stomping too?
He's from Neptune. Just trying out for the Joisey Shore is all.
But no one on Jersey Shore is from Jersey*, much less the Jersey Shore!
*I think one of them is, actually.
Spoken like a true Jersey Shorian!
Dog punchers are from Neptune... #sorry
T-Mont lost his mind up in there.
Oh, golly, I thought I had a semi-personal relationship with this one, but the dates aren't right. Suffice it to say that the time I was very nearly killed by a driver being chased by the police from Neptune to Tinton Falls who took out several other cars in his way was not this guy -- it was another guy doing that. But in 2007.
Jesus! Monmouth County streets are more dangerous than when I lived there. I'm glad you escaped unharmed, Oudemia. And I hope your dog did, too.
Oh, it's better, even -- I was leaving Jersey Shore Medical Center, *where my father had just died,* and the crazy cop-fleeing asshole who nearly took me out on 33W nearly took my brother out on 66N. Would that have been the saddest Jersey Mayhem ever?
@oudemia: it would have made quite the Public Apology column, too.
Are you sure this wasn't a fan fiction article about Marv from Sin City?
Um, you missed the best part: "DeLucia testified that once he and a second officer, Sgt. Gerald Turning, placed Montgomery under arrest after a brief physical altercation, they found the suspect wearing a wig, heavy amounts of make-up and a towel stuffed under several layers of clothing to disguise his appearance."