Don't Worry About Stranded Polar Bears, Nothing Bad Will Happen To Them
"A polar bear cub is comforted by its mother as they drift TWELVE MILES out from shore on a rapidly shrinking iceberg after hopping on board to take a rest from hunting seals. The future looks bleak for the bears as they balance perilously on the ice that was bobbing around under their weight – but amazingly experts said the pair probably made it safely back to shore." Well, thank God for experts! Because I would much rather hear their assurances than the speculation from the man who was actually on the scene.
Eric Lefranc, 40, who took the photograph while cruising in the area, doubted the cub would survive.
"If she was able to leave her baby, the mother would probably have survived but our guide was quite pessimistic about the survival of the cub, who probably drowned," he said.
"Some of the members on our trip were in despair. They wanted to take the bears with us and bring them to the nearest land which was obviously impossible."
Yeah, I'm going to stick with the expert opinion. They're both FINE. In fact, they are probably frolicking together right now. Right?
They're going to be fine. Remember: polar bears can FLY.
http://www.theawl.com/2009/10/nasa-doesnt-know-its-ass-from-its-elbow
Sorry, Dave, they can fly, but they need a thirty foot running start.
This is just like the time my teddy bear was thrown overboard on a Boston Harbor cruise – don't worry, the mama & cub are FINE. They floated back to Peru. They're made of foam rubber, they won't drown! They're probably back at home with their family already! RIGHT MOM?
But your mom warned: "jolie, if you do that one more time, I'm throwing your teddy bear overboard." But would you listen? Nope.
Actually – SINCE YOU BROUGHT IT UP – my mom wasn't there. But Cliffy Moylen and Alana Shoanfeld, listen up and listen good: I WILL FIND YOU. AND YOU WILL NOT "FLOAT BACK TO PERU" WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU.
Assigning blame is much more satisfying than using passive voice, isn't it?
Somebody owes somebody a PUBLIC APOLOGY.
Isn't this the plot of "The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane"?
Because if so, those bears are on their way to having all sorts of adventures, meeting all sorts of interesting people and getting some new eyes are sewn into their heads.
(required reading for all parents. but fair warning…you may cry. Think "Velveteen Rabbit")
I was saying 'Booo-urns.'
Why wasn't a crew from Animal Planet dispatched to capture it all on HD? Seems irresponsible.
Dude, Planet Earth's hi-def polar bear shots had me locked in my room for week. Fucking walrus just get eaten already fuck.
Planet Earth is awesome – specially when mammnals are in the picture. I get bored when it's all fish.
Cosign on the mammal thing. I loved the crap out of all of it. But on the other hand, I like napping to the non-mammals. The "Caves" segment has been on my DVR for nearly two years for this express purpose. I'm usually out cold before they even get to the bird-spit cups.
ohhh, bat guano mountain.
Someone's sounding a little like Sarah Palin, no?
Don't trust those anti-elitist experts*, but do trust the opinion of the guy who knows how to push the shutter button on a camera.
Then again, all of the UK media have become global-warming denialists so who can you believe these days?!
*That said, the Telegraph seems to have a pretty loose definition of expert
Yes but I used the google and polar bears can swim a fuck of a lot further (technical term) than twelve miles, even the little ones (now, whether they know which way to swim to get to that land is an entirely different question).
I'll have to check my sources (probably a back issue of Private Eye), but the Sun has a real history of inventing happy endings to stories like this so they can use the pics without bumming out their readers.
He's going to be fine. He went to a nice farm upstate.
What is the sea supposed to eat, if not the polar bear?
They would've made it back to shore safely, if they hadn't both been fatally wounded by a killer whale trainer en route. Odd story.