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Ouch: "The governor is scheduled to speak to what's left of his staff at his Manhattan office this afternoon."
Ouch: "The governor is scheduled to speak to what's left of his staff at his Manhattan office this afternoon."
Text of Gov. Patterson's speech in Manhattan this afternoon:
Thank you all for coming. And thank you for your dedication and loyalty during these trying times. As I'm sure you're all aware, the media has been relentless in attempting to expose so-called "scandals" in this administration, scandals which are non-existent.
Nevertheless, even though we will eventually be able to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that no wrongdoing took place, either by me or by anyone in this administration, I have decided to resign as Governor of the state of New York effective Monday, March 8. Simply put: the focus on these scandals has made it impossible for me to effectively govern the state of New York. So in the best interest of the citizens of this great state, I have made the difficult decision to resign.
But first, there are some allegations I wish to address head on.
A great deal of speculation has taken place in the media about my love life. I want to be perfectly clear on one point: I am very, very good in the sack. Seriously, I tear shit up. I'm unselfish, a pleaser and I really, really, take my time. There are, of course, other issues that need to be addressed. I know this. But I just wanted to put the sex thing out on the table right now, because after Monday, who knows when I'll get another platform like this to announce the David Paterson love express is about to leave the station. Wooo Wooo! All aboard! Haha. Ahem.
Oh, I also want to mention something about reportedly "nuzzling" and "neck-kissing" a woman who was not Michelle at a New Jersey restaurant back in January. It was a mistake that I now deeply regret.
If I had known I would be resigning from office less than two months after that incident I would have banged her on the table. Seriously. I would have nailed her right there in the restaurant. You only get one go-round, so you gotta make it count. I know that now, and I'm sorry.
Ok, that's all I've got. I'm just going to leave this stack of cards right here on the podium. They have my email address, uptown and downtown cell phone numbers printed on them. Ladies, feel free to take one on your way out.
Paterson has a political tin ear — and I really do not intend any pun on his handicap here. Just look at the fact that his response to the scandal is to cling to a position where everyone knows he will not last. It is just painful.