Thursday, February 4th, 2010
19

Words Like "Chaos," "Plunging," "Everyone's Freaking Out" and "Freefall" Appear on Finance Sites

THAT'S GOLDToday's exciting market plunge, with massive selling at open, appears to have hit bottom, but that was neat. (Also, may I point out that people are now using the phrase "a deteriorating jobs market" so very soon after they were using the phrase "end of the recession"?)

19 Comments / Post A Comment

HiredGoons (#603)

THIS must be why AIG just announced another round of HUGE FUCKING BONUSES.

KarenUhOh (#19)

Today's Lesson: Words Can Be A Real Bitch!

Screen Name (#2,416)

I really enjoy BusinessInsider articles. They're usually just a sentence or two long, have a lot of exclamation points and pose serious questions, such as, "What in the hell just happened?!?!", and "Why is everyone freaking out?!!?".

I know, isn't it great?? I love the ALL CAPS!

katiebakes (#32)

Viva Carney! Hail Weisenthal!

Ken Layne (#262)

BusinessInsider is my new favorite website. I keep it open next to Bloomberg & Marketwatch, saves a lot of time trying to figure out which Business News stories are the one that actually mention the total collapse of the Earth's Economy.

brad (#1,678)

i hate enlightening others as to my stupidity, but…does the health of the stock market really correlate to the health of the economy at large? isn't the thing still around 10,000? wasn't around 10,000 when things were good? how do i install a garage door opener?

HiredGoons (#603)

Question nothing when there are graphs.

brad (#1,678)

pretty colors!

Rod T (#33)

My first thought? YOU OWN A HOUSE? WITH A GARAGE?

But then I decided to be of usefulness:

To install a garage door opener, you must first develop a business plan. Be sure to include important key words such as "landmark", "keystone", and "buzz-generating". To seal the deal, illustrate how your garage door opener will have a social-networking component. From this, you should be able to raise $625K in funding from assorted seals that will applaud your mastery of key words. With the money, develop a plan to create awareness of your garage door opener including Facebook advertising, a Twitter, and tee shirts (in sizes small and medium only, as only negative awareness is generated from the heavies). Once everyone is aware of your garage door opener, you need to have several brainstorming meetings to figure it all out and to flesh out your marketing alliances. At this time you should have a second round of fund-raising, illustrating all the efforts and in-roads you've made toward installing the garage door. Finally, make allegiances in Brazil, Thailand, and Burkina Faso to provide labor at bargain. Repeat all of the above steps, four times. Then, once you are down to about four hundred dollars, go to Sears and purchase the Craftsman 53916. Then hire your neighbor Larry that was recently laid off from a company that did not have social networking components in its business plan. He'll do it for $25 and a six-pack.

Onjay (#2,679)

Ah…the delicate balance between networking and not working. My mum had a social networking component in our back garden. It was called Fence, and she used to lean on it while talking with the neighbors.

"…only negative awareness is generated from the heavies…" made my lunchtime.

kneetoe (#1,881)

Well, first install the garage door.

Mindpowered (#948)

"Be sure to include important key words such as "landmark", "keystone", and "buzz-generating"."

Ah but does it Scale to Cloud?

Mindpowered (#948)

"The" fucking cloud.

Fuck.

dado (#102)

The present value of all future flash cows is deteriorating. To err is human, to moo, bovine.

lempha (#581)

So the next market implosion is a not-if-but-when-type-deal now?

HiredGoons (#603)

Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

Man, you're on a conference call for a while and you totally miss a financial implosion and recovery (replosion?). What was it like? Was it fun? Did it hurt?

I'm jealous.

I sure am glad I converted all my money into Flooz back in '99.

What, too easy?

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