You would have no reason to know that all winter I've been attending night school, in pursuit of my Master's in Gay Mixmastery. (This is over at the Finishing School for Homosexualist Gentlemen, which, naturally, closed down for much of the week after the death of Alexander McQueen. It is in Chelsea?) In furtherance of my degree, I had to turn in a final class project, which, because it is now the weekend, we will share with the Internet for no good reason.
This project (finished just in time for the end of the gay semester, which is very short, for a class called "Hi NRG Diva Synthesis 201") began as a conceptual response to the Grammys about "good" and "bad" music, and how "good" and "bad" music is produced, and how "divas" are treated, and what "good" and "bad" music could possibly mean-but, naturally, then became mostly about defining what is the variety of music you really should take crystal to, because that's what I learned from the gays that music is totally all about.
Please note: play very loud, preferably in a cavernous dance club with people roller skating. Or at least while cleaning house. More importantly, also note: you most likely shouldn't play this at any volume. It's not actually, like, good. ("Good.")
Mp3 download: Gay Dance Party Awl Radio Nightmare. [MP3, 16MB]
Have a great gay weekend, you gays!
(PS SOON I'LL HAVE MY DIPLOMA AND WILL BE LEGAL TO DO WEDDINGS IN IOWA AND CONNECTICUT! I DO REQUESTS!)
Why do you hate Donna Summers?
I have to second this. I love Erykah Badu, but I can accept no substitutes for Donna.
That said, adding dance remixes is one of the few ways I could think of to improve the Awl, so kudos. I especially enjoyed the little Yeah Yeah Yeahs sample, very nice.
Yay, I now take leave of the office portion on my week knowing there's a party waiting for me at home!
Needs more HORNS.
Needs more Whitney.
Needs more "BOB-AAAAY"
I don't know, I just put my speedo on and tried to clean my bathroom to it. I think it could be gayer, frankly; my toilet's sparkling but not as much as it could be.
Maybe you just didn't do enough meth?
Did you study with the DJs of David Barton?
I clicked the mp3 link and my browser crashed. It must be that powerful and awesome.
Gay. (LAZER BASS!)
I can't get this to my itunes. Do I have the right plug-in? And the length alone was pretty gay.
can a digital file still be called a twelve-inch mix?
I feel like I've crossed over to the other side of something.
(no homo)
Things that are less gay than that mix:
The ghost of Gianni Versace driving a Mini-Cooper convertible through Provincetown. (I know, too soon. Sorry.)
A++ on this Gay Mixmastery project. Was fearing I was going to have to dock you, but then Beyonce finally made an appearance at the 11th hour. Phew!
(okay, the detuned "put a ring on it" just came on. actually quite a lot of homo)
oh wow. oh wow.
you made 'i gotta feeling' interesting!
seriously, this is kind of like you have jacked into my brain here. CHOIRE YOU COULD BE THE NEXT GIRL TALK
My downstairs neighbor is going to hate this. Thank you. Fun!
Dumb comments like this are why I should stick to lurking. "Fun!" WTF is that?
This is just what I imagine Choire's mind to be, only a little less Jewish.
Oh damn, gurl. Did you get a hold of some of that chronic that was sprayed with that electronics cleaner they sell at Office Depot (you know, the stuff that girl on "Intervention" was addicted to)? This is like some 2005, "Victor Calderone, Please Put Down The Pipe" kind of ish.
Yay! I enjoyed the Gaga and Karen O bits .... and just when it was lasting too long and hurry up and finish already, you've given us Beyonce!
I am definitely drunk and may be smothered in cheese, but LIKE. Too slow to clean to, though!
I'll only listen if you promise there's some Laura Brannigan.
Oooooh yesssssss.
Was that Lady Miss *Kier*? (Who is sort of on Twitter now?)
I am wriggling around in excitement!