Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010

Nasology: What Does It Say About You?

The Ragbag, which you should totally be following or RSSing or whatever, introduces us to the world of nasology, "a belief founded on long continued personal observation that there is more in a Nose than most owners of that appendage are generally aware." Here's a description of one particular type of proboscis that is near and dear to my face.

The Jewish, or Hawk, Nose is very convex, and preserves its convexity, like a bow, throughout the whole length from the eyes to the tip. It is thin and sharp.

It indicates considerable Shrewdness in worldly matters ; and deep insight into character, and facility of turning that insight to profitable accountThis is a good, useful, practical Nose, very able to carry its owner successfully through the world, that is as success is now-a-days measured, by weight of purse; nevertheless it will not elevate him to any very exalted pitch of intellectuality.

It is called the Jewish Nose in conformity with long-established nomenclature, and is, perhaps, more frequent among the Jews than among most other nations resident in Europe. It is, however, a fallacy to suppose that the peculiar physiognomy called Jewish is confined to the Jews, or even exclusively characteristic of them…. We have said that it is a good, useful, practical Nose, i. e. a good money-getting Nose, a good commercial Nose, and perhaps the latter term would be an apt secondary designation for it. Hence, those nations which have been most largely gifted with it, have been always celebrated for their commercial success.

Man, if I had a nickel for every inch of nose… well, Choire would be writing this thing by himself.


14 Comments / Post A Comment

johnpseudonym (#1,452)

There are more things in my nose than most people are aware, but I choose not to divulge more in a public forum like this.

Br. Seamus (#217)

I thought Nasology was the study of those who are half-man, half amazing.

NicFit (#616)

I am Sir Nose, d-Void of Funk, and I will never dance!

KarenUhOh (#19)

He's snubbing the snout.

hockeymom (#143)

I am in the midst of a HORRIBLE, AWFUL, TERRIBLE sinus situation.
I'm halfway thru a Z-Pack and have been doing the NetiPot thing (gross!).
Nothing seems to be working.

If anybody has any other ideas, let me know…because I'm on the verge of ripping the nose right off my face.

portmanteautally (#1,015)

The neti pot may not be curing you now, but if you stick with it after you are no longer sick, it will prevent this kind of thing from happening in the future. Promise!

johnpseudonym (#1,452)

My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed, big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid. I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge, both how I'm livin' and my nose is large.

My uncle still has my nose.

Is nose size indickative of other body parts?

Screen Name (#2,416)

If my nose could tell a story about me it would be a cautionary tale of cocaine, hash oil, vanilla extract, sauteed onions and my ex-wife's morning breath.

jolie (#16)

What? What??? Our Alex? He who writes from the perspective of an angry groundhog and an erudite cock, is not "elevate[d] to any very exalted pitch of intellectuality."??? Science, scmience.

KarenUhOh (#19)

My mother, God rest her soul, used to put a fingerful of Vicks VapoRub deep into each nostril every night before bed. She lived to 83.

She also gave birth to me, but a .500 average isn't bad for most behaviors.

Matt (#26)

I have still not gotten used to the bylines on the front page deal yet and from the headline I assumed this was a Dave Bry post about some group of internet loons interpreting the secrets of the Illuminati via Nas lyrics.

gumplr (#66)

If I ruled the world…

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