I'm… Lost
11 p.m., 2010. It ends.
10:36 p.m., 1994 Oh, ABC. Who do you think wants to go "behind the scenes" on Lost? Are you even sure any of us want to go in front of the scenes?
10:28 p.m., 1967
10:16 p.m., 2008 "The American International Group has agreed to cut employee bonuses by $20 million and will distribute about $100 million on Wednesday."
10:06 p.m., Year One A.D.
9:54 p.m., 2004:
9:45 p.m., 1985:
9:41 p.m., 2010 "The nation’s top intelligence officials warned Congress on Tuesday that terrorists are 'certain' to attempt another attack on the U.S. within the coming months."
9:37 P.M., 1964 I understand how people travel in time so readily and frequently—but why did all those VW vans make it from the past? Why not, then, trees? Or birds? Or cats that have snowball guns? What matters, really, when dead people get to have long conversations?
9:20 p.m., 1453 You guys, IDK.
9:07 p.m., 2007 Okay, let's stick to what we know tonight. 1. A guy named Jack aged substantially in the middle of a transatlantic flight. 2. Um. No, that's it. Oh wait: Also we learned that CGI is expensive.
9:01 p.m., 1972 We've seen Juliet die like 1000 times already now. Baffled. Angry. Slightly aroused. Annnnnd this does indeed look like the first leaked five minutes! Score one for the accuracy of Internet leaks, or at least for the failure of ABC to seed a fake leak.
8:58 p.m., 1964 Okay, I got the woman collecting cans and glasses for a living off my car so I could drive to my safe TV place in Brooklyn. And now… God, why did I think I wanted to watch this show? I don't even understand the parts of the show I'm seeing at the end of the pre-show explainery mess. Also, where's HURLEY.
It is 8:12 p.m., 2010 The pregame, hour-long warmup show has begun—where they try to remind you of the plot points that you forgot in the endless interregnum? I don't remember either! This means it's time to drive to Brooklyn to my safe place where I watch TV! Lemme know what happens, okay?
Ok, time to think up drinking-game rules.
IF I CRY, YOU DRINK.
Oh, that rule leaves me conflicted.
I don't want you to be sad … but I want to drink!
I'm crying because you put a big photo of fucking JULIET up there. DO NOT MISS U
mathnet, does it make you sad because you don't like Juliet or because you're sad she's gone and playing the lead on a crappy remake of V?
Oh I cannot STAND Juliet.
Oh I used to HATE Juliet but now I love love love love love her and now she is dead.
1. Drink every time Hurley says "dude."
2. Drink every time a character who died/was thought to be dead turns up alive.
Yes … DEAD CHARACTER CAMEO.
Flashbacks count!
I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL MILES INTERVIEWS THE BODY OF JOHN LOCKE!
Oh DAISY! Nice!
I will drink Kate's tears.
JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-HAA-AAAAAAAAAAACK!
Someone just died, and the screen went to white, and then the dead father appeared, and irritated his angry, irritable son by telling him how to live his life, even though he's dead. And then he went and had sex with that chick the son hates, who keeps cheating on him with scuzzy dudes. And then Dexter was like FUCK YOU KEITH, I HATE YOU. I like this show!
OK wait a minute. I just checked on something because I've been watching old episodes for days, and I thought I remembered the lady who tells Desmond there's no Daniel Faraday at Oxford, from her also having been the Oceanic 815 gate agent who lets Hurley board late? And I found out that it was the same lady annnnnd IMDB says there are, like, 10+ people who've played more than one bit part on this series.
Did everybody else know that already? Does it mean something other than that there's a shortage of day players on Oahu?
Yes, most likely shortage of day players. ABC is not flying SAG scale actors to HI.
My Boo says that Sun wasn't worried about having the baby because it might not be Jin's. Am I crazy or did she have an affair or something?
"I'm so lost."
yes she had an affair with in Korea and so was upside: baby conceived on island is Jin's, downside: would probably mean she and baby will die.
She IS a whore!
(This almost never happens. The whole "Rod is right" thing. AWESOME!)
If I had known there was going to be a drinking game at the end of this show I might have actually watched… no, no I wouldn't've.
Another Thing I'm Wondering!
Why didn't Danielle Rousseau recognize Jin after the Oceanic crash? (She and her team had pulled him ashore after he'd time-traveled.)
French.
Because the writers are making this up as they go along. And they didn't think of that.
THAT'S NOT AN EXPLANATION!
I think maybe there's been a lot more time-traveling/bodysnatching by Jacob and The Black Man than we realize. . . (i.e. memory lapses of Claire's, Danielle's, etc.)
Rousseau and Jin never interacted when she was older.
I think you must be right, but she did come and speak to all of them on The Beach, when she made up the thing about how The Others were coming to take Claire's baby. Maybe he wasn't there? Or maybe she just didn't notice him or whatever.
I suspect that the end of hour-long recap suggests that they do not make it back to LAX safely.
Rose! Love you, Rose.
"You can let go now."
Jack is basically killing Rose by setting off that bomb. On account of her cancer that only the Island can cure. hate u, jack.
YES! They are just going to show Season 1 over again! What a great Fuck You to ABC!
Jack's hair is wrong. . .
If it's wrong, I don't want it to be right…
No but it IS wrong! HE AGED… mid-flight.
It is wrong to age mid-flight AND mid-life, no less.
GAH! Desmond!
Global Warming has destroyed the island?
They've all been in a cheap fish tank this whole time.
That drill sound? Is the same wooden-roller-coaster sound as the Smoke Monster.
YES. Thank you.
Is it just me, or has Sawyer really developed into a more complex character than he was at the beginning of the show?
Why does Sawyer kind of look like a fat woman?
I think that's Hurley…
SOMEONE IS BLOATED.
Oh COME on. Juliet grumble grumble.
I don't know who made me more irritated: Juliet or Chaaaaaaaaahlie.
Smoke Monster FTW.
LLAMA EXCREMENT!!! Talk about a LOST show stealer! Color me intrigued!
Ok, I figured it out … HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED:
One of those "time shift" things happened *just before* Juliet set the bomb off in the bottom of the hole. So at that exact point, the core characters (the ones Jacob "touched") time-shifted forward to a future reality in which the "reset" (hydrogen bomb explosion) never happened – because it hadn't happened yet before the time-shift happened.
BUT … just *after* the core characters time-shifted, the past (1977) reality kept happening, and Juliet finally set off the bomb — so the future "alternate reality" got triggered… that's the one with Jack on the plane, and everything is like it was before the crash happened.
So now, there's two different future realities going on, thanks to that time shift moving the core characters forwward just before the bomb went off.
GET IT???
I… BELIEVE I AGREE.
I'm not sure I've quite figured out this implications here, though.
I would have assumed that, when the past altered the future, the new future would becomes the ONLY future, period. So these characters should've suddenly found themselves in the new future … not the old one … once the hydrogen bomb went off and the future changed.
Unless multiple futures are created every time a time traveller changes something in the past? If so, how many simultaneous futures could be happening in parallel at once?
I need to stop thinking about this because it's making my head hurt.
also. juliet. reading tristam shandy. 100 PAGES GOES BY B4 BEING BORN
OOOOOOOOOOOOOH
But, that doesn't mean that there weren't two possible ways the world could have gone to begin with. It's just now they've revealed what would have happened at the plane never crashed. Now, the question is which world is the actual LOST world and which one is the merely possible LOST world? which one is actual Jack and which one is counterpart Jack? This raises more questions they don't have time to answer.
Wait, that doesn't explain why Desmond was on the plane this time, though, right?
There could be parts of Desmond's history that might have gone differently in some other world where there is no Hatch for h im to find on his sailing expedition.
Except maybe he wasn't really. Jack looked for him later and he was gone!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
At first I thought he was a Desmond ghost, but maybe he just went back to his real seat next to the snorer while Jack was busy pulling the heroin out of Charlie's throat.
Agree w/ multiple realities, don't agree on the time shift – 1977 Juliet wouldn't survive for years in the well.
I think this show is easily over-thought. This is not the movie Primer.
Juliet didn't have to survive for years in the well. She time-shifted forward along with everyone else.
I think the bomb went off the split second *after* she time-shifted. Maybe the rock she was holding hit the bomb just after she disappeared.
Except she was gonna say "it worked" (according to the guy who reads dead people's minds), so she must have known the bomb went off somehow. That's the part I don't get: If she hung around long enough to see the bomb go off before she time-shifted, there's no way she's still be alive/intact after the time shift took place …
It's Boone!!
Dead character cameo! DRINK!!
could they really not afford Boone's sisterlover for this episode?
PLEASE LET CHAHLIE PLAY A FIX-SAYID BALLAD IN THE TEMPLE
ChaHHHHLIE doing dope in the bathroom
Charlie's 'do is wrong too. This show should be called HAIR LOSS.
We are everybody!!!
You all, everybody! (I thought)
YOU ALL EVERUHBADAHHHH
There are so many good-looking men on this show. Jesus.
Ya gonna NOT die, Chah-lie!!
Jack said 'No, I can't fix him!'
What was that, that he just picked up?
I thought it was a bullet…but, man, Locke=Smokie
New Locke = smoke monster
Also …
Guy in black (Jacob's nemesis) = New Locke
Therefore …
Guy in black (Jacob's nemesis) = smoke monster
I hope the plane crashes right before it makes it to LA.
Just once. Once. Maybe in the series finale. Could we please hear somebody say WHAT THE FUCK?
I don't understand anything at all anymore! I hate Lost! I can't wait for this stupid show I'm addicted to to just END ALREADY.
YES. THAT.
Oh, I just realized: Charlie was another dead-character cameo, and I forgot to drink.
oh wut. juliet died again. fuck this show.
Looks like Chahlie will be singing a different tune.
So Sayid's life would have been great. Everybody else's would have sucked?
It's gonna be awesome when Juliet dies again next week.
I hope she dies every week. It'll be like that South Park meme.
And Josh Holloway will just keep emoting, over and over and over again …
"Oh my god! They killed Juliet! Those bastards!"
It would save a lot of time if they just showed on and off type switches on everyone (switched to alive or dead) so you could keep track.
Minnesotans are openly admitting (on MPR and elsewhere) that they are not joining the statewide gubernatorial party caucuses tonight because of this Lost episode. add that the the Lost fans' outcry over the SOTU maybe disrupting their entertainment and it's clear that Lost fans might be the most pathetic politically engaged group of all time.
WTF .. IT'S NOT OVER???
Hour two, comin' at ya. Btw, where's Vincent? If New Locke is the Smoke Monster, then Jacob is embodied in Vincent.
I can't believe I didn't know this was a two-hour premiere. I thought it was over. I almost turned off the TV and went to bed!
Have more drink! Surely Jack will run into his dad soon!
Why not though, I mean, really.
Ha!
It's a guitar CASE.
Christian = LOST.
He's lost luggage!
Was that The Catcher in the Rye??
are they in apocalypse now now?
Oompah-loompahs, sounds like!
Now we have f'ing PIRATES?! ARGH! I wish I had some booze… to glass myself with
who are the pirates? the other others? or the hostiles? I need some graphs, people.
OK this thing has really jumped the Smoke Monster.
It just feels like the writers are throwing every crazy thing they've thought of over the years in two hours.
I have seen professional football games with fewer commercials.
WHEN DOES LADY GAGA SHOW UP?
TWIST: Lady GaGa IS Miles!
Why would Miles even argue with Sawyer about this?
IT WORKED.
Who the fuck is this guy?
How did Kenny Powers' brother get on the island?
Is that John Lennon and Genghis Khan? Bill! Ted!
Where's Socrates?
THEY HAVE ALL SHRUNK TO THE SIZE OF NECKLACES!
OK that was Naomi Dorrit, right?
And John Lennon was a member of Rousseau's team?
Sayid needs to live in order for the OTHER future to happen. …
Why? So he can go back in time and do something else to make the other future happen, I guess?
(It's so he can fix their TV.)
So he can go to the recent past and MAKE THIS SHOW NOT EXIST.
That other future *is* happening simultaneously, is it not? So, it's like Sayid is essential for switching the time track, ensuring that it is the actual LOST world, or something like that?
Oh, for God's sake. Sun's hair is wrong too.
Sayid will be inhabited by jacob.
Shut up, Kate! Remember Charlie's non-death?
I'm afraid that I'm going to have to watch this episode over. The thought of it is painful.
REALLY? You could… do that??
Yes…but tell NO ONE
I think the brains-in-a-vat game they're playing is getting low on batteries.
Meow meow meow meow meow.
Where's Vincent? Where's Christian? Where's Dancer, Dasher, Donner, and Blitzen?
You Can't Even Make Fire Guy! Drink!
Claire's hair. Obvs.
This episode is just a beau-font blunder, isn't it?
Is this where Hurley dies?
Everybody dies!!!
(fingers crossed)
*crosses fingers*
Shut up New Locke, you're boring.
Sure am glad I spent the bulk of the past three days of my life re-watching Seasons 1 and 5.
I can't watch the show until later so I'm trying to figure out what happens just through these comments and it's super fun.
There's a weird in which Sawyer has sex with Hurley. It's left unexplained, but I always felt a high level of sexual tension between the two of them. Juliette's 7th death of the night probably caused Sawyer to lower his inhibitions and just give in to the temptation of Hurley's moobs.
It looks like Wisconsin IS going to beat Michigan State. Who saw that coming??? Well, badgers are tough.
<3 you.
Sorry, thought this was LOST: MICHIGAN STATE.
And yes indeed, the Badgers DID beat Michigan State.
GOD DAMN RIGHT THEY DID!
cussing badgers.
# surly animals
They kind of reeled me back in with Black Locke's 'so disappointed in you' speech, but then when Sayid got un-dead. . . I'm back to being disappointed in them.
Jacob is now in Sayid's body is my theory.
That and multiverses.
Oh, I buy it!
Also: that's hot. Heh.
I'd smoke right now if I smoked. I need to go for a walk, this stupid show gives me agitas….
So Juliet died. But then … she was alive again! But then she died again!
Then dead-Jacob showed up to talk to Hurley … to tell him he'd just died a little while ago. So he was like … "living dead," I guess.
Then Sayid died. But now he's alive!
The. End.
Hater.
really. i did not scream this much during battlestar galactica. starbuck = pigeon was FINE.
They actually making an extended a "glory hole" joke on The Daily Show.
The truth is, I will continue watching this show until it is over. NOTHING IS IRREVERSIBLE.
Hey, what was that dumb thing Juliet said to Sawyer about getting a coffee together?
I couldn't understand that entire exchange! It was just like:
Sawyer: Mumble Mumble
Juliet: Mumble Coffee Mumble
Sawyer: Chuckle Mumble Mumble Mumble
Juliet: Mumble Mumble
[Juliet Dies]
Sawyer: Mumble? Mumble?
Also I personally think Daisy Klaber should do all future liveblogging of any events televised or non and Choire should just, I don't know, go read Eileen Myles (which? sunday? http://coldfrontmag.com/poets-off-poetry/gram-parsons-archives-vol-1-by-eileen-myles) or something like that.
"james, kiss me."
"you're awfully bloody…"
All I know is she mentioned going dutch and I thought 'I knew it – cheap date.'
Frontline was pretty interesting this evening.
How about that bitch stewardess?
Although she was helpful with the passing out of food and drink in an orderly manner.
I'm actually embarrassed that I genuinely enjoyed this show. It was like freaking Congo for a while in there. I was just waiting for the floating boulders.
Listicle w/o commentary – Smug dicks on Lost who act mysteriousallknowingdontanswerquestions just to drag out the show.
8. Hippie Coattail Translator
7. Don't Like the Taste of English on My Tongue
6. Daddy Whitmore
5. Richard
4. Farraday's mom
3. new Locke/MIB/smoke monster
2. middle Ben
1. Jacob
I'm sure I'm forgetting some. Did we really need 2 more introduced during this episode?
I DVR'd LOST to watch after a late soccer game, but it cut to The Swiss Family Robinson halfway through.
Whaaa?
Oh, Ernst. Vier, acht, funfzehn, sechszehn, dreiundzwanzig, zweiundvierzig!
4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42.
Bingo?
That's a really fun idea! But it would have to be some kind of, like, postage-stamp-style Bingo game, because those numbers only take up B, I and N.
We fell asleep when they put Sayid in the Lazarus Pit. How did Hurley die?
You know, if Jacob didn't spend so much time fucking around on this creepy island, maybe he would have been there to save his ex-wife from being murdered by Arthur Mitchell.
Is NO ONE excited about the Secret Diary of a Call Girl other than me? Sometimes it seems like I'm the only one watching this show in the United States.
I LOVE THAT SHOW VERY MUCH!!! I had my tv scheduled for the premier three weeks ago. I so wish it was an hour long program, half an hour just isn't enough hooker action. Apparently, I'm the only one of my friends with cable as no one else shares my enthusiasm for it either.