Monday, February 22nd, 2010
14

All That And A Bag of MEAT CHIPS

They're gonna go one better!Here's an important advance in the war against obesity: "Rather than tucking into a bag of potato crisps, consumers will be encouraged to dip their hand into a packet of crisps made of pulverised beef or turkey crisps. Thin, crunchy, high in protein and low in fat, the bizarre invention is being developed in a laboratory in North Yorkshire as a healthy alternative to a bag of fatty cheese and onion flavoured crisps." But… how would it happen?

The application for the patent lays out the ingredients and method of creating this novel idea. The raw meat is pulverised and mixed with an emulsion. Then seasoning is added along with a range of binding agents – egg albumin, k-carrageenan, and lipophilic modified starches are all listed as possible ingredients – and the concoction is heated gently in a wrapper before being sliced into thin pieces and then microwaved to make them crispier.

The meat chips, expected to be sold in "Pringles-style tubes," will be lower in calories, fat, and sodium than regular potato chips, and may come in flavors such as regular, garlic, and bovine spongiform encephalopathy.

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14 Comments / Post A Comment

So it's like jerky, but thinner, and with a more regulated shape?

America may not be ready for ketchup crisps, but I suspect these will be consumed with gusto.

jolie (#16)

I LOVE KETCHUP CHIPS OMG HERR'S.

Maevemealone (#968)

Sign me up. And I'll take a tube of Slim Jims on the side, kthx

mathnet (#27)

Taylor Ham is a Yes, but this rates an EWWW?

Julian (#3,626)

And why is that bizarre? It's much the same as a hamburger patty is anyway, only as a dry variant: Put some animal into a grinder, form the pulp into something biteable, fry it and chew.

With this, you've just go one more step: Dehydration. The end product is about the same distance from real food as the hamburger is anyway. Yuck, in both cases.

FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK YYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT IT NOW.

muskegharpy (#2,094)

So, pretty much extrude-a-food carne seca?

HiredGoons (#603)

I expect a review from Mary post haste.

Jon Roig (#3,627)

'Course, if ya wanna go the other way, there's already meat flavored chips:

http://www.inventuregroup.net/burger-king.asp

garge (#736)

I don't know why my mind instantly went to effects on seminal fluid. I have a feeling, pineapple-juicesque it will not be.

City_Dater (#2,500)

Jerky In A Can.
Unless it has the Olestra effect, there's no way this is going to be an aid to weight loss.

Mary HK Choi (#1,469)

GAH! THIS IS ACTUALLY AN IDEA I HAD SEVEN YEARS AGO. Though they're stupid for trying to position it as crisps. They should be going for the non-sweet-energy-bar-with-the-protein-of-jerky-without-the-sodium lane. Also, they should've made it with texturized vegetable protein/quorn, thrown in 4 grams of fiber and made it 10 grams of carbs; for 6 grams of net carbs. The flavors should be vague as shit like, TOASTYNUTTYUMAMINOM in some crispy font in a soothing color and matte wrapper. They'd have made a killing at $3.25/bar. Sell that shit at gyms and on planes.

YES! MAKE THAT SHIT!
Also, please to actually call it TOASTYNUTTYUMAMINOM.

WindowSeat (#180)

A little late to the party, but the first thing that comes to mind when I read this was "Pringles tube full of giant scabs."

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