Monday, February 1st, 2010
7

9/11 Terror Car Surplus Leaves Cop Cars for All

There's a million dollars in New York City cop cars just sitting in Jersey, after the big airport security plan sort of fell apart (shock), and the tabloids are hopped up about it. But anyone who lives withing two blocks of a precinct house can tell you that's the tip of the 9/11 money influx iceberg. They've like, run out of places to store cop cars. Also, anyone who's seen one of those extremely annoying "terror parades" that involve like 10 cruisers going up Sixth Ave at rush hour with their sirens on… to nowhere. Oh, gosh, jeez, there so many cars! Won't someone say something? (Over the weekend I aged about 40 years, apparently.)

7 Comments / Post A Comment

Matt (#26)

So wait, are you throwing your hat in to take over Andy's segment while he retires to a 4:30pm show ("There's Never Been Complaining About Things That Happen Around You at 4:30pm Before on Television!" – the tagline) only to be bumped back out of the spot due to poor ratings? Because I need that to happen in my life.

Matt (#26)

(Also I originally read this as "9/11 Terror Cat" which reminds me that you guys are really missing a branding opportunity in not coming out with a line of Cat Action figures.)

NoNoNo (#2,207)

I read it the same way! Couldn't wait to hear what Cat had done.

mjfrombuffalo (#2,561)

The Terror Parades don't head "nowhere," they head to the main post office. Every day, different time of day but every day nonetheless, there's gazillion police cars from all over the city lining the streets around the post office. Ah, the pretty, blinking lights of our tax dollars at work, putting on a show but not really doing much when it comes to genuine safety from terrorists.

NinetyNine (#98)

Um, actually, the patrol cars are owned by the PANY/NJ. Them fucking something up is not an outcome of the War on Terror(TM). They could have done something this ass backwards without any interference from turrists.

joeclark (#651)

I don't think these squad-car parades are accidental or an indication of waste. Securing the City explains how parades like these are meant to spook would-be terrorists into thinking the cops are everywhere. They'll also do things like park a dozen squad cars on a bridge one day just to freak them out. Ostensibly these methods work. And if you see one happening, it might be because suspected terrorists have been monitored nearby, or can just look out their windows and watch it happening.

SemperBufo (#1,849)

"By the beard of the prophet, we cannot blow that bridge! What if they use their sirens?"

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