Friday, January 8th, 2010

"Things Co-Workers Have Shown Me That Are Worse Than A Sports-Bra"

"Things Co-Workers Have Shown Me That Are Worse Than A Sports-Bra," by a lady who apparently works at Gomorrah Slag and Harlot LLP:

* bites on chest sustained during sex with bitey new guy.

* various and sundry rashes

* impressive bruises all over butt from being (consensually) spanked

* the place on the floor of an office where sex was had the night before, including the wet spot.

21 Comments / Post A Comment

hockeymom (#143)

And how is this nice? Liar.


This is good old fashioned America sexy-time!

sox (#652)

It is nice because I don't have bite marks, rashes, bruises or wet spots to share with my coworkers. Wait. or a sex life?

Yeah, thanks Choire. This was supposed to be Nice Day!

KarenUhOh (#19)

I know so much what you mean. And they always want to see YOURS first.

Dov Charney currently has all of Gomorrah Slag and Harlot LLP on retainer.

Rod T (#33)

My list:
– Pictures of grand-children.
– Pictures of chihuahuas.
– Myspace pages.
– Album covers of coworker's band.
– McDonald's food.

Baboleen (#1,430)

No one has shown me anything that matches what The Temp. has seen, but a co-worker once asked me at lunch if I had ever drank my own breast milk.

Was he drinking at the time?

"drinking it".



Baboleen (#1,430)

She was eating, and continued to do so. I did not.

shostakobitch (#1,692)

did you faint when you read the end of grapes of wrath?

josh_speed (#97)

Things co-workers have shown me that are worse than a sports bra: Their true selves.

myfanwy (#1,124)

On my first day at work: Hysterectomy scar.

HiredGoons (#603)

Themselves wasted in my apartment groping my friends at my birthday party*

*I secretly enjoyed this.

Thank you for this, Choire. 'Harlot' is a sadly underused word these days.

Tulletilsynet (#333)

Also, way to keep that fine gender usage distinction going with "Gomorrah." The hint of postapocalyptic pitch and brimstone in "gomorrah slag" was delicious, too.

zidaane (#373)

"Let me pull the skin back so you can really see it".

slinkimalinki (#182)

on the other hand, i've showed my co-workers myself falling off a bar and getting a minor concussion, so fair's fair.

Their poorly written screenplays and poorly produced low budget movies for which I then have to make-up some poorly thought out compliment.

Listen bitch, if you can simper around cooing over your 40+ pregnancy, I can show off my 40+ hickeys.

thatsrealbutter (#2,095)

I think she works with a girl I used to work with at Antique Boutique, who sat me down one day in 1998 and assaulted my virginal ears with a story about her boyfriend boning her with a Hennessy bottle. I was never the same.

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