The True Meaning of Christmas!
"Dear Amy,
While attending the 4 p.m. Christmas vigil mass at my church this year, I was shocked.
I look beyond the fact that no one dresses up for church and that talking across the pews seems to be a normal occurrence, but what happened this year is beyond me.
During the Holy Communion mediation song (with only 10 minutes left to the service) the women behind me started to breast-feed her baby."
-Letter writer to (rape-blaming) advice columnist "Ask Amy" has no clue what Christmas is actually about (second letter).
Hooray for the banner ads on this article. HOORAY.
My wife was immaculately impregnated in the back of the Pope-mobile, or so she says.
All started with that "kiss of peace" stuff and it has been downhill ever since.
People who are offended by breast feeding are beyond my understanding. Are we really that prudish? What could be more natural than breastfeeding a baby. Nothing, that's what! The child needs to eat, end of story.
I wish some celebrity moms would come out in support of breastfeeding, that might make it more acceptable. The emphasis should be on raising a physically and emotionally healthy child, not on making every random person in society feel comfortable because they can't deal with the idea of a breast.
I actually wish more women would come out in support of bottle-feeding instead of guilt-tripping the ones who can't breast-feed.
I wish we would stop talking about women being "unable" to breastfeed like women are "unable" to give birth without routine medical intervention anymore.
I mean, what do I know, maybe some women actually don't produce milk or something, but women are often told their milk might not be "strong enough," etc. And with the first setback, someone's there to say, "some women just can't breastfeed," instead of, "here's how you might deal with this obstacle."
But no guilt meant for women who choose not to. Whatever!
Um, I was a complicated pregnancy that resulted in some hormonal problems for mom that precluded breastfeeding. I turned out pretty OK though!
For your information I am talking from experience, namely going to a fucking lactation consultant with my poor wife who was in tears and an emotional wreck because our daughter wasn't getting enough milk. Yes, we tried and tried before she gave up so don't give me this shit about "the first setback" and kindly go fuck yourself.
Yeah the worst thing is people pretending that one choice or the other is WRONG or UNNATURAL. There's nothing wrong with breastfeeding, and people shouldn't make an issue of it happening in fairly public places, but by the same token it's not as though bottle babies are deprived. Just do whatever you're comfortable with!
London: My wife went to a lactation consultant too, and she was a very cool and helpful person. Nobody tried to guilt trip anyone. But our duaghter was breast-fed successfully, thanks to this woman's help.
I'm sorry you had a different experience.
Oh, the consultant was very nice, it just didn't work out and breast-feeding was becoming this epic battle to get enough milk into our daughter that was interfering with any bonding my wife was supposed to be doing with ther.
The guilt tripping comes from society at large mostly, women are made to feel like there's something wrong with them if they can't manage it.
Did not mean to imply anything particular about your situation. I maintain my point at a generic level, and agree that guilt should not be part of the equation for the mother either way.
@afarerkind you should have stopped at "what do I know".
While I agree with you, I could never make it work personally. I was never deft enough to master the casual flip and latch-on without a whole mess occuring (and my kids were loud, messy eaters who needed frequent breaks, burping, etc. until it was a moot point). It was annoying bc it basically meant I was inside (with quick 2 hour escape breaks) for a good 5-6 months. It was just too much for me to try it in public as I am a bit too modest. With friends and family, no probs.
I actually sympthasize a LITTLE about the dressing up part – I get depressed (and so does my amazing, classy grandmother) when we go to Broadway shows and people are in like Juicy and UGG Boots.
While I am not religious, I feel like church on Christmas is one of the rarer and rarer occasions to fucking look nice.
STRONGLY AGREE. Church calls for sleeves and hose as far as I'm concerned. I'm a bit of a priss in that way.
If I went to Temple in ripped jeans and a hoodie I'd be smacked upside the head with a Torah Pointer.
Indeed. Sunday mornings in my house growing up were a combination of "God doesn't care what you're wearing!" and "Go iron your fucking shirt, NOW." So while conflicted, I still think you should look nice, if you're going to bother to go.
I ENJOY looking nice. Then again I'm a certified dandy-fop. While I enjoy the occasional day in PJs in my apartment, I don't understand people who think of wearing nice clothes that fit well as a CHORE!? It is one of life's fewer and fewer pleasures.
Agreed. Well, sort of. For me, nice-looking clothes that fit well are oftentimes incredibly uncomfortable. (Hello, pantyhose!) However, as I am a person with some sense of self-respect, I make an effort to present myself well. Most of the time.
Purely physically of course. I usually 'present myself' as an utter lech with no moral compass, else a complete boor.
But. I. Look. Great. Doing. It.
Priorities!
Church on Christmas yes, under the 'special occasion' exemption, but every other goddamn Sunday can become a serious source of misery for the entire family. Daughter hates her uncomfortable shoes, son got grass stains on his slacks, mom thinks she looks fat in this dress, dad forgot to wash his shirt and by the time we've all piled into the car 15 minutes late we all fucking hate each other.
NOT THAT I HAVE A PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH THIS OR ANYTHING
O gloriosa virginum
Sublimis inter sidera;
Qui te creavit, parvulum
Lactente nutris ubere.
On the other hand, if the church has a crying room (which is what they used to call it, I think), that's where the mom should have gone to feed the baby, whatever was on the menu.
Count me also in team hose-and-sleeves. Church is your Father's house, and there is no way your dad is going to approve of you running around his place in booty shorts.
Zing!
you know, maybe the woman didn't feel like making a scene by getting up and walking to the crying room during the last ten minutes of mass with a child hanging off her tit.
LOL!
also, the child didn't need to go to the crying room because it wasn't crying. because it had a tit in its mouth.
at least she wasn't breastfeeding her puppy.
or abandoned baby bengal tigers.
My wife breast-fed in church, and nobody had a problem with it. The baby gets hungry and starts shreiking. It keeps the kid happy and quiet.
People DO realize that most women don't actually expose their nipple while breastfeeding, right? The babies head covers that up so there's no real nudity involved. So I just don't understand what-all folks are getting upset about … even the more prudish folks. There's really nothing to see that's any more unusual than a woman holding her baby to her chest and NOT feeding it.
Is it just the CONCEPT of what's happening – even though they can't really see it – that upsets these people so much? Is the whole idea that revolting?
I know, the concept of a mother caring for and nourishing her child must terrify some people.
Frankly, I don't see the big whoop either. Then again breasts do NOTHING for me.
Well, there are the "don't actually expose" types and then there are the "whip it out" types, and maybe the complaint was about one of the latter.
I said "maybe."
considering it was in the pew behind the letter writer, i don't think she could given you more than a maybe either.
WHY WASN'T SHE PAYING ATTENTION IN CHURCH!?!? HM!?!?
I grew up going to a very small, country, conservative church where the standard drill for ladies giving suck during the services was to hang a diaper over the working side of the rack, from the shoulder down to … Oh wait, now I have to explain about cloth diapers.
Nope, that like "natural child birth" is something first time parents will try for about 5 minutes. Until they realize what a huge pain in the ass it is.
Drugs are always the answer.
Sadly, I have a pic of a better "Renaissance Lactamania" painting than the one you used in the post:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/chimeraobscura/66142426/
good to know