Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

Paper: Nation's Smokers Half-Lunging It

I do. Fuck you.
Who still smokes, the Wall Street Journal wonders this morning. Turns out it's a bunch of folks. You got your social smokers, your secret smokers, your stress smokers, your emotional smokers, your weight-averse smokers, and your too-afraid-to-quit smokers, apparently. But there is also a new breed of cigarette-enjoyer out there: the intermittent smoker.

Even though the percentage of American adults who smoke has stalled at about 20% in recent years, smokers are smoking fewer cigarettes than they used to (an average of 13 per day, down from 21 in 1980). And a growing proportion of smokers-roughly 25%-don't smoke every day. One government study found that as many as half of American smokers either don't smoke daily or smoke fewer than six cigarettes a day….

Researchers used to think light and intermittent smoking was a transitional phase for smokers on their way to quitting or ramping up to a more serious habit. But a few recent studies suggest that it's a new, stable pattern particularly among young, college-educated smokers. An analysis of smoking patterns during the 1990s, published in the journal Nicotine & Tobacco Research last year, found that 18-to-29-year-olds were twice as likely as those aged 50 to 64 to be nondaily smokers. Many experts expect that pattern to continue.

Those experts warn that even intermittent smoking carries severe health risks, and it also makes you kind of a pussy, because you know what? If you're gonna smoke, smoke. We don't need you Johnny-Smoke-Latelies on our rugged little island with your two-stick-a-day habit, bumming from us outside of bars because you "forgot" your "emergency pack" at home. I'm sick of you people. Cigarettes cost more than 50 cents each now. You want cancer? Get it on your own dime. Or, more accurately, five of them.

[There is also a fun, "interactive" quiz which lets you test your nicotine dependency. I scored a 7! Yay!]

43 Comments / Post A Comment

LondonLee (#922)

I hate intermittent smokers, I have friends who only smoke when they go out drinking which, to be honest, is the sort of person I would kill to be. But I'm too weak!

ThomG (#2,973)

It's a depressing sign of rampant half-assery. What ever happened to commitment?

Baboleen (#1,430)

I was one of those people who smoked whent they drank. I was a pig drinker (not a pig who drank-but when I drank-I drank like a pig.) I was also a pig smoker. I would go from 0-at least 25 cigs. during one night of drinking. Made for a MUCH WORSE hangover. I see there are others out there suffering so that I no longer have to. Thanks for the memories.

NicFit (#616)

Call me a pussy, but I use dissolvable tobacco (http://www.dissolvabletobacco.com/) at work and smoke at night. It gives me something to look forward to, and I don't have the terrible circulation and psoriasis that I used to have.

Win win?

jolie (#16)


jolie (#16)

Can tomorrow's vices post be about sex with strangers to complete the Things I Won't Give Up, Fuck You trifeca?

jolie (#16)

Okay and? I'm calling MAJOR bullshit on that quiz. I scored a zero.

I've been smoking since 1991.

Louis Fyne (#2,066)

That quiz made no sense, as if morning smoking is the only possible sign of addiction.

LondonLee (#922)

They should have added "If you still lived alone and weren't married with a kid when would have have your first cigarette?" and I'd have answered "the minute I got out of bed"

Right?! I scored a 3!
(Though I have quit cold turkey in the past…)

But yeah, I call bullshit on the whole morning-cigarette-is-most-important thing, too.

I'd lung them.

blueprint (#2,019)

If I give up my daily pack of Newport, where am I going to get the recommended daily allowance of vitamin C?

Louis Fyne (#2,066)

Where is the article on how the medical press has ceded any form of credibility w/r/t drinking or smoking?

petejayhawk (#1,249)

I am an intermittent smoker and I'm proud of it. Hey…mind if I bum one of those?

zidaane (#373)

After Monsanto accidentally sterilizes the world plant population and you can't grow another crop and most people are busy hoarding their cans of Pringles and whatnot, it's the cigarette wars that will see the bloodiest fighting. These 'casual smoker' people are the first ones we'll throw on the pyre. We just can't afford to have these fuckers around.

I thought we were gonna get tomacco?

zidaane (#373)

It's the clovesup I want.

conklin (#364)

Fifty cents a piece? Jesus. I've got an open couch in North Carolina if anyone needs wants to come down and stock up. It wouldn't take that many cartons to make the trip cost effective.

ThomG (#2,973)

I would quit, were it not for the INTERMINABLE ENNUI OF EMPLOYMENT

brent_cox (#40)

Exactly. I would feel stupid going down to stand on the sidewalk for seven minutes without something to do.

ThomG (#2,973)

I love smoker solidarity. Got a light?

zidaane (#373)

They really should open the sidewalk up to all disgusting habits. I would not feel so bad smoking next to someone taking a scab break.

brent_cox (#40)

And what do the non-smokers do when I'm down there?


C_Webb (#855)

I am such a child of the 70s. Cigarette advertising totally worked on me, in that I firmly believe people who smoke are cooler and more exciting than people who don't. I just don't smoke. (Yes, I'll go fuck myself. Right away, sir. Thank you.)

ThomG (#2,973)

Objectively speaking, smoking IS cool. I invoke Sean Connery in Doctor No. The problem is that we equate 'cool' with 'good' or 'advisable'.

They should not lump together low-yield daily smokers with those "I only smoke your cigarettes" motherfuckers. I know what I like and am capable of planning ahead to ensure my needs are fulfilled. That's the smoking equivalent of asking to watch two strangers have sex after binge drinking.

LondonLee (#922)

I also refuse to give a cigarette to anyone who calls me "Dude" while asking for one. Seriously, I did once.

My favorite shitty thing to say to people who ask if I have an "extra" cigarette is, "No, my pack only came with 20". Yes, it's an asshole thing to say. Buy your own goddamn cigarettes.

Yes! The Honey does this.
He also categorically refuses to give a cigarette to anyone who asks to "borrow" one.

Rod T (#33)

The great thing about smokers is that they don't realize they smell like shit. Seriously, it's just foul.

ThomG (#2,973)

That's why we stick together. Collective imperviousness to the smell.

The better thing about smokers is that we don't give a fuck what non-smokers think.

josh_speed (#97)

The only thing worse than the obvious is the self-righteous.

smapdi (#1,306)

The not-bathing thing covers that right up.

mjfrombuffalo (#2,561)

I'm part of a WTC medical study and get annual physicals for their database. When asked if I'm a smoker, I answered "only when I drink," and they told me "That makes you a smoker. One cigarette in a six-month period makes you a smoker to us." Well, if I have one drink every two weeks, I'm not an alcoholic, and if I go out dancing once a month, that certainly doesn't make me a dancer. They did not see the truth of my logic, that smoking a butt here and there did not a nicotine addict make. So I mentally said "fuck you" and bought a pack after the physical was over and became a real smoker again. I SHOWED THEM!
…um, well, not really and quitting again Jan 1 sucked moose cock but oh well…

JGP (#1,686)

Today is the six-month anniversary of quitting. Full quit, patch for a month and a half, done. Is it weird that I'll deliberately cross the street to walk behind a smoker to get some of that second-hand exhalation? Because I will.

If bodegas in my 'hood still sold loosies, I'd definitely be an intermittant smoker.

Smoking rules.

Fifi (#1,639)

I passed the 10-year mark of quitting, but I stick close to smokers and breathe deeply. Second-hand is the only way I can get it now.

JGP (#1,686)

And yet, non-smokers don't understand. Squares.

buzzorhowl (#992)

Yo, cigs are $10 a pack in NYC now? You guys are getting HOSED.

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