OK, so admittedly this is totally yesterday but the rumor that January Jones might be tangling junk with Jeremy Piven is SO FUNNY. Because anyone who's disappointed and didn't already think she was exactly this flavor of asshole needs to raise their hands so I can tag them for being losers. In fact, don't raise your hand, I BET I CAN TELL WHO YOU ARE.
It's not even the whole, oh, she threw Ashton under the bus for destinytampering and telling her when they were dating that she couldn't act, blahblahblah. because whatever, it's all very douche calling the douche douche-but Piven!
I mean, who is this insecure? You'd think she could snake some higher grade fuckery. A Bradley Cooper. Or a Gerard Butler. At least those dudes are freakshow warlocks when it comes to collecting all of the pussy EVER. so you know there's some sort of venereal voodoo afoot.
I mean, really, did Piven even have to say anything beyond, "Say babe, you ever think maybe your nose was too small?" and then she wigs out because he's looking all up into her secret self, way past how goddamn smokin' she is and "sees her" on some Na'vi shit and it's game over.
I'm not saying she's not attractive, and I'm not saying she doesn't give good sternumboob on GQ covers. All I'm saying is that I've spent a lot of time with the ladies. Certainly enough to make sweeping generalizations about ones that I've never ever met and there's just something about JJ that reeks of the type of hot chick who makes a really big show of being extra nice to the retard kid until he accidentally gets spit on her and then the meanface comes out for a second until she realizes we're all watching and then sweetface comes out. AND that January Jones totally pinched the retard kid just then and I SAW IT ALL.
Makes a really big show of being nice but then secret bitch face... Yes, this is exactly it! Will you sit with me at lunch, MHKC?
"What's that girl wearing on her head? That girl. With Jon Hamm. Saturday."--My mom on Sunday night
Bradley Cooper couldn't be gayer--he'll only ever be "collecting pussy" if he grows up to be an old cat lady. In every other way, though, your post is 100% true.
WHAT HE SAID< THANK YOU DD.
Jeremy Piven: Bradley Cooper :: Meesengil: Summer's Eve
Meesengil = Messengil, but Sweet Annie Vinegar would work just as fine.
It isn't "Massengill?"
Summer's Eve!...
DOUCHE!
probably
Spot on as usual. Anyways, yes, this is exactly the type of play I expected from her, and it'll be nice when Mad Men is over and she never does anything of consequence ever again and we realize the shocking brilliance of the casting director who brought in a vapid, airhead former model to play a vapid, airhead former model on an extremely well-written television show.
THANK YOU! Had this discussion with my friend during the Globes! Don't really understand the acclaim. I mean, she does fine and all, but she's basically playing her sixties self (flat affect and all!). Christina Hendrick and Elisabeth Moss are both a hundred times better in their roles.
But yes, she does have an awfully lovely face!
SO. MANY. HATERS.
YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS WEAK. And I loved your girlfriend's satin headband at the golden globes so much. It wasn't redundant with the band of her dress or that shiny shoulder thing AT ALL.
My mom STRONGLY AGREES. [See above.]
Go make secret bitch face at me for saying this, but I LIKED the headband. It was better than anything else out there!
--Loser
What's the difference in 'redundant' and "the headband works great because it echos the belt"? (sincere question)
@cappy: I had problems with it because not only was it the exact sheen (satin) and color of her belt and her neckerfuffle but it mooshed her face as the point of interest (headband) pinged the eye down to her claviclemonster thing and then zagged to the waist. The headband alone was cute. Even headband plus belt is OK since her hair was up but all three made my crazy twitch. She could've done a thinner grosgrain on her head and I'd have been OK with that as well.
Secret beyotch with smarmiest douchebag of this or any other year? There's a certain symmetry to it, as long as they don't procreate.
I wouldn't be too concerned. By the time these people finish taking off their makeup, it's time to slap it all back on and return to posing for pictures.
Would you douchers excuse me for a forevertime? I need to keep on my face.
She's a spokesmodel for endangered sharks. That has to count in her favor.
Substitute "January Jones" for "Jessica Alba."
Jessica Alba is possibly the only actress in Hollywood even MORE wooden than January Jones.
The Jessicas Alba and Biel
YES. What's up with "nothing wrong with em" pretty? They're all really so unremarkable of face.
In "real" life, she's dating a senator's aide. Ask me how I know. (needs roll eye emoticon?) Anyway I can't tell you. But it's been reported in Politico and tis true.
The mean, jealous types around DC secretly congratulated her on reaching the level of Hill intern. Not me, obviously. Others. I heard.
What else can't you tell us?
I thought she was dating "a lawyer in Oregon." Or, at least, so sez Esquire. (Being a lawyer in Oregon, I found this kind of a fascinating bit of information.)
January Jones will not conform to your "don't date that douche" agenda.
But she will read your fucking script.
She can read?
Is this post about some sort of "tv show"?
No, he said "Is it hot in here cuz I feel the mercury rising."
Ok, too easy and probably been done once or twice.
She is Ms. Thing to my Mr. Thang!!!
"Makes a really big show of being nice but then secret bitch face"? Really?!?!! I make a really big show of being bitchy but then secret nice face!!!
Secret nicefaces are the salt of the earth. Loyalest people ever.
And to be clear, my mean face is more "kick your ass" face than "oh my god it smells in here and i'm a pissy bitch and yes honnnney i am gay" face.
Post of the day/week/epoch.
As someone with absolutely no knowledge of who this person is I'm voting for "Penthouse Playmate Turned Roller Derby Vixen."
Janemy? Or, Jernuary
More like Too Far To March...
Amirite?!
Right?
... hello?
Man, am I ever thrilled that the rest of the world is coming on board with my JJ hatred. I've actually had to try to convince people that she's a terrible, terrible actress! That shit ain't right.
My JJ-in-a-nutshell story is listening to her provide commentary to the episode that starts with a dinner in Manhattan, and then her tipsily saying in the car on the way home, "Vodka gimlets and Lobster Newburg need to get a divorce, because they're warring in my stomach." (Or something!) And she voices over, "I still don't know what I was saying there! 'Lobster gimlet'? What?"
Dumber than a bag of doorknobs, this one.
When she hosted SNL, it was clearly obvious she couldn't even read the cue cards.
THE WORST.
you didn't like the fart jokes?
CORR.ECT.
" Colonel Mustard [#183]
As Betty Draper, she is stiff and shows little emotion. WHICH is *exactly* how the character is supposed to be, and it is very hard to pull off convincingly. Playing a character with stunted emotions is like driving a car with only three tires, and she deserves a lot of credit for managing to communicate from under Betty's layers of ice.
10/27/09 Reply
mathnet [#27]
I agree with you! And yet. Have you listened to the DVD audio commentaries? She admits she aktully didn't understand some of her lines. And still doesn't."
http://www.theawl.com/2009/10/footnotes-of-mad-men-with-natasha-vargas-cooper-misfits-horse-meat-and-clark-gable
Oh, Mathy! It's like we are one!
ONE AWESOME LADY WHO IS RIGHT ALL THE TIME
I found this exchange very enjoyable.
Strongly agree. Her amateurish snickering and obvious enjoyment of the "Farting Grace Kelly" sketch totally gave her away.
Aren't y'all just projecting your Betty Draper hatred onto poor January?
Elizabeth Moss' DVD commentaries are pretty fucking dull too. Yes, we know, you had to wear a fat suit now be quiet and let someone else get a word in edgewise.
I have no dog in this fight by the way, my heart still belongs to Rachel Mencken.
Ugh! This is where I was torn, too. Because I lurve Rachel. And she was the other one providing commentary on that ep! But alas, I could not let it continue after the Lobster Gimlet Incident.
(Also, I have WAY more hatred for JJ than for Betty. Betty got to bang Captain Awesome, and you can't help but root for a girl that gets to go to town with a hot piece like that.)
(In addition to her hot piece at home, natch.)
SOUND REASONING
But yes, Elisabeth Moss needs to STFU about herself when the scene does not even have her in it.
I am definitley projecting my Betty Draper hatred onto poor January. There was just no reason for breaking Don Draper the way she did.
Team Dick Whitman!
YO! STRONGLY AGREE. I was baffled by Elizabeth Moss in the commentaries. Honestly, how actressy can one person be? I thought she'd start taking about "crafts" and "journeys." I was shocked. And she kept moaning about how she had to keep an ugly haircut for continuity. Awful.
Oh, yeah. All the shit about the craft got old with a quickness. But at least you can appreciate her passion for what she does in the same way you can pat a theater geek on the head when they drone on and on. Affectionately!
(But BOOO to Moss anyway for the Scientology nonsense.)
And now she's back to the goddamned bangs.
I vote against dvd commentaries.
My least favorite was the writers of the 'Babylon' episode in S1 guffawing about how politically incorrect the characters were (esp. Sal's quip about good-looking Jews).
How can two people who wrote such a smart, sharp script be such insufferably smug liberal stereotypes?
Don't they cancel each other out?
Nothing cancels out making me want to vote Republican, even for just a millisecond.
Assholes inhabit all stops all the political spectrum, LondonLee...
I don't follow...?
Who the fuck are any of these people and what do they do?
I like this site even though/especially because I never understand Mary HK Choi's posts and I get the sense that she inhabits a fascinating alter-world of things I will and could never understand. And this intrigues me.
Gasp! I feel exactly the same. And I think that alter-world must be quite glorious.
Tangerine lipstick? Really?
Jeremy Piven could give you herpes from across a crowded room.
Wait, I thought Piven was her retard.
I don't even know what sarging is! (I mean, I do now...)
This feels kind of gawkery. And not in a good way.
STRONGLY DISAGREE
man those are both horrible alternatives, JJ prob just saw JP's 10% RT edge over the other two and that was it