Is The Metroplex Monster A Chupacabra?
![The North Central Texas Goat Sucker? [Photo: Joe Duty]](http://www.theawl.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/chuba-2-490x416.jpg "The North Central Texas Goat Sucker? [Photo: Joe Duty]")
[Photo: Joe Duty]
“This is a weird little critter. This is not a coyote. This is not a dog.”
—Wise County, TX, resident Tony Potter discusses the animal carcass he discovered last week at a local golf course. Some suggest that this Metroplex Monster is a chupacabra, a legendary cryptid which stalks the American Southwest. Sure! I mean, why not? CHUPACABRA DISCOVERED, PEOPLE! MUST CREDIT THE AWL.COM, and then if you feel like it, credit the actual organization that discovered it in the first place. Whatever you're into, you know? But we'll be happy to take the link.
Aw(l). Its paws are so adorable.
And it's got little puppy belly. Aww x 2.
Oh wait – I guess that's just dead animal bloat. So not so adorable after all. Oops.
How is that… not a dog? Because it's a dog. A dog that's been given a very good shaving (/mangeing?)
Still, though. A dog.
Racoon? (w/o its shell)
But it has the puffy labia of a young possum!
I bet it exercised a lot.
It's a turtle without its shell.
Obviously!
Even more mysterious than the creature is the fact that the chunk of ground pictured serves as a golf course?
That is one hell of a sand trap.
Does it taste like bacon? Because that would make it valuable.
Hairless coyote.
http://www.hauntedamericatours.com/crypto/Cryptozoology/el%20chupacabra.jpg
You're awl welcome.
Ewww – couldn't you find a cute picture of the dead hairless thing?
Talk about belly bloat!
Zombie Santa's Little Helper!
Fox?
It's about 12 pounds of ugly.
Shit Just Got Real
Plexie!
So, the mystery of the chupacabra has at last been solved.
All of Mexico will sleep more soundly tonight.
Looks like a possum without fur.
Lets.
http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/27/276592/19_2008/stk61418cor.jpg
Reply fail. STC, I blame you.
Ha! That's Nachos Grande working things out, is what that is!
I look at that picture and all I see is a (potentially) great pair of shoes.
No, really, look at the color and texture.
It's Scott Brown's new centerfold.
Outtake from the Tara Reid photoshoot?