Hundreds of "solar-powered audible Bibles that can broadcast the holy scriptures in Haitian Creole to 300 people at a time" have been dispatched to Haiti. You see, God powers them, through his brother, the sun, and then people turn the cranks when they want to crank up the word of God to everyone in a two-block radius. Then the talking bible tells everyone to "eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood" and everyone turns into vampires. I think.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
34
They'll be interested in learning that the Devil is really dealing on these.
I am hoping this is one of those times that people (who maybe even have good intentions!) send "aid" somewhere, and then the aid recipients burn that aid for fuel, or use it in some other manner that is more useful to them than its original intended purpose.
ON THE OTHER HAND, since a lot of Haitians are Christian and could use a little morale-boosting, they may not find this so obnoxious.
No totally! I mean the thing is, if you like Jesus, as many people do, you would like to have a bible.
And one that talks, at that! I hope it does different voices for Jesus, Moses, Rahab, all the disciples, etc.
Oh, man, it had better! I totally I assumed it did!
I hope they make Thaddeus sound really stupid. Because GOD, THAT GUY.
Wouldn't you like food, water, and medical attention more?
@cherri: Fortunately, not an either/or. The Speak n' Bibles are being distributed by a church group that's already helping distribute those things.
@Moff: Ok, but those bibles took up space on a transport, which could have been used for things that, you know, will directly prevent you from dying.
DUDE, ROLLING OF EYES.
Assuming that every single ship or plane heading to Haiti has been packed with the maximum amount of supplies (which would be great, but, given how big operations work, probably not the case -- some planes or ships have to leave when they're not full, because they can't always wait until there's enough life-saving stuff to fill them, because the Haitians need the life-saving stuff ASAP; THERE ARE ALWAYS BOTTLENECKS, is the point), you have a point. But c'mon: The story is not "Food, Water Left Behind to Make Room for 600 Talking Bibles." When that story breaks, believe me, I will be right there with you.
Right now there is a small containership headed from Port Everglades to Rio Haina in the Dom. Rep. with a total of 80 half-size (20-foot) shipping containers of emergency rations and water, most for trucking (3 hours) to Port-au-Prince, the rest for a test delivery from ship to barge or landing craft at Port-au-Prince. Total capacity is 1,205 such 20-foot containers. There's also some unrelated Dom. Rep.-bound cargo on that ship, but even so, there's definitely room for a few hundred solar-powered Bibles. There are severe logistical problems in Haiti, but space in shipping containers is not a big issue.
OH SNAP, MOFF!
Yeah, it would have been nice to hear Haiti was having the "OMG THEY'RE SENDING TOO MUCH STUFF" problem, but I wouldn't have put money on it.
Oh that's not the only aid cargo underway from the US to Haiti right now, it's just an example of how it's loaded. (There was actually one largish US food-aid shipment underway to Haiti when the quake hit.)
It would have been nice to have the 234 pounds Hillary Clinton takes up replaced with peanut butter but, you know, I don;t see anyone complaniig about that.
Abe - tell me exactly how peanut butter would be able to oversee the logistics and negotiations essential to the recovery efforts as well as Secretary Clinton.
I agree. It wouldn't help me at all, but it has a chance of helping somebody.
Indeed. I hope all of the huge number of physicians and medical personnel who are in Haiti (largely unpaid) as part of a church group get the hell out of there as well and let secular Anderson Coopers and Al Rokers get back to work saving everyone.
Al Roker can do open-air surgery and operate a backhoe? I think I would pay money to see that, if it didn't further endanger the people around him.
i hope it's in creole, otherwise...well, i guess with bibles it's all about the sound of the words anyway.
But are they edible?
Zombies would be more site-specific.
Cranks are superfluous. As the Lord tells us, the sun never sets on the poor.
Nope, it stays at a hot ass high noon.
Is this meta-enabling? I can't tell.
I think we can learn from Uganda that religious-based aid is incredibly important and useful right up until the point it encourages you to kill the homosexuals of your country. It's just tough knowing when the church groups are going to switch from "running orphanages and rehabilitation centers and providing a source of comfort" to "leading witchhunts."
But then there are those darn 'Witch Orphans.'
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/4677969.stm
Yes, it's important to be able to recognize a bigot.
But what do you do when the bigots are also doing good things? I'm sort of glib in my comments, obviously, but this is a real issue - the same people who want to legalize bigotry are also (from what I've read) the people who are providing essential services to parts of the country. I don't know what to do with this, but its the downside of religious aid, to be sure.
Are the American Christians really encouraging, like, the murderous shit in Uganda, though? Or is that the Ugandan Christians who happen to, as a result of their shared religion, get aid from American churches? I got the sense that the Americans were as homophobic as ever but not into the whole murdering thing; but I honestly don't know. I do know, though, that third-world Christianity has often been pretty bigoted on its own, without any help from white people, for a long time.
Moff - No, the American Evangelicals actively encouraged homophobia in Uganda. They're now all freaking out in a "we didn't mean kill them! just "force them to become straight" and tell them they're going to hell!" sort of way. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/04/world/africa/04uganda.html
I've never found the "communion as vampirism" shtick funny. But that's just me! Meanwhile, I find this somehow fits with the theme that anything that's not food or water or rescue-people or rescue-materials is using strained infrastructure for something unnecessary. It's a pretty compelling question, and a more interesting one than "are missionaries bad?" As far as homosexuality is concerned, I didn't ever have the impression that Haiti needed much in the way of missionary intervention to oppress homosexuals. It just might not be an important issue right this second?
The question, I guess, is how necessary aid like this is viewed to be by Haitians. I don't know the answer.
then how about Jesus being a Zombie? that shit slays. This is neither here nor there for me, If folks think it helps them then it does, it's as simple as that. Whatever Drug you need to get over is on you. Tom, You are so right that the deep discussions about this specific topic need to wait, But I think there is absolute validity to being vigilant against those who would seek to exploit this tragedy in the name of god, because there are more than a few who would love to do so I'm sure... there always are and at least one camp started the day of.