The Korea Times‘ announcement today that one in five Korean women are intentionally starving themselves in order to look “beautiful” shocked a community comprised of exactly 0.000003% of the country’s inhabitants. People who have “met a Korean woman” or “sat across from one during mealtime” were significantly less flabbergasted by the outcome. This may sound insensitive but South Korean women having Body Dysmorphic Disorder is some OLD ASS NEWS. Shit’s so old it had a knee lift and still only wears long pants. If you asked a South Korean woman to draw what she thought she thought she looked like on a wall in crayon, she would FORGET THE TASK BECAUSE SHE IS SO HUNGRY. It’s completely tragic but EVERYONE gets at least a blepharoplasty, eats most of her calories in lipstick and basically all role models are a 00. I am not going to say anything snide about Daul Kim because everything about that situation deeply upsets me, but man, the “face of Korea” was a beautiful and desperately unhappy one. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go call my mom and eat this burrito.