Monday, December 7th, 2009

Korean Ladies: Not as naturally skinny as they'd have you believe.

Kreen Girl Lost The Korea Times' announcement today that one in five Korean women are intentionally starving themselves in order to look "beautiful" shocked a community comprised of exactly 0.000003% of the country's inhabitants. People who have "met a Korean woman" or "sat across from one during mealtime" were significantly less flabbergasted by the outcome. This may sound insensitive but South Korean women having Body Dysmorphic Disorder is some OLD ASS NEWS. Shit's so old it had a knee lift and still only wears long pants. If you asked a South Korean woman to draw what she thought she thought she looked like on a wall in crayon, she would FORGET THE TASK BECAUSE SHE IS SO HUNGRY. It's completely tragic but EVERYONE gets at least a blepharoplasty, eats most of her calories in lipstick and basically all role models are a 00. I am not going to say anything snide about Daul Kim because everything about that situation deeply upsets me, but man, the "face of Korea" was a beautiful and desperately unhappy one. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go call my mom and eat this burrito.

27 Comments / Post A Comment

dado (#102)

Bulgogi ju sae yo.

Mary HK Choi (#1,469)

seriously. i guess that's the saddest bit, how DELICIOUS the kreen food they're not eating is.

David Cho (#3)

To be fair: Korean food is relatively healthy


Mary HK Choi (#1,469)


David Cho (#3)

Fun fact: My Korean friends in Korea (both guys and girls) have always told me that I should never get involved with a girl more than 45kg AKA 99 lbs.

Christine Park (#9,418)

Soooo Untrue!!!!

Mary HK Choi (#1,469)

One time my aunt told me i sounded "heavy" on the phone and asked whether I had "big thighs like those New York girls you see…"

Mary HK Choi (#1,469)

Also, gotta love the ads right now.

iplaudius (#1,066)

I know from experience that it pisses Korean grandmas off when you don't eat their food. Yet are grandmas somehow complicit?

Bittersweet (#765)

Aren't grandmas always complicit in fucked-up food relationships?

ericdeamer (#945)

Any Asian grandma on earth will jam food down your gullet until you're about to explode and then complain about how fat you are whether you're a guy or a girl. It's universal.

cinetrix (#47)

Mmmm… yook hwe bi bim bop, jap chae, pajeon, jae yook bokum… damn, so hungry now.

HiredGoons (#603)

Now I want some fucking Kimchi.

garge (#736)

Now I want some of the fucking Kimchi fried rice I had for breakfast for lunch, but I ate it all.

Mary HK Choi (#1,469)

Man, you know what's SO GOOD? Frying up some Kimchi in a screeching hot skillet and throwing a nob of butter on it.

HiredGoons (#603)

*munches begrudgingly on a carrot.

Abe Sauer (#148)

In all fairness everything in a melted pile of butter is "so good."

chamchi kimbap 4evs. all the korean women i knew could eat and drink me under the table without even trying and all the adorable korean girls that i taught had really sad body image issues.

tigolbitties (#2,150)

i think once my mom realized the black half of me meant i was ineligible to date her korean friends' sons she laid off the comments about my eating… but before then, holy shit! can a bitch just enjoy some kim bab and man doo with a side of bul go gi?

also, anytime i don't feel motivated to get my ass to the gym, i watch a korean drama and after i cry a little bit, i put on my shoes and get on the treadmill…

sigerson (#179)

For various strange reasons, I am a white dude fluent in Korean. One of my favorite sayings is roughly translated as "Two people eating. One dies. The other doesn't notice." This is used to say how good the food is.

Another would be the screaming match after a traffic accident in Pyeongtek once that ended with, "DO YOU WANT TO GO TO A MASS GRAVE TOGETHER?" That's still my go to throwdown lingo.

sigerson (#179)

Kong dong myoji eh ka go ship uh?

sigerson (#179)

p.s. – i love the tags on this post.

Mary HK Choi (#1,469)

what flavor of white dude are you?

sigerson (#179)

Scottish-Belgian-Irish-German-English. Ya know, very diverse, like a little United Nations.

I love how the comments converged toward something hungry Korean women would not enjoy reading. That is, toward discussions of things they would rather enjoy eating.

Leti (#362)


Paul Abruzzo (#243,326)

Hungry Korean girls and sad white dudes with yellow fever! These posts always end up this way, don't they?

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