Yesterday, Goldman Sachs sent out their market research advisory on the restaurant industry in the Americas, with "five themes that will dictate restaurant stock performance in 2010." The outlook? SUNNY! There will be a "high end resurgence"! Also, an extremely high chance of people desiring cheesecakes!
We did not know that The Cheesecake Factory, which will kill you, as Ezra Klein points out, was the high-end pioneer in the marketplace of foods! Compared to Wendy's, I guess it is.
But here it is, as Goldman's #1 notion for '10:
High end resurgence – affluent guests driving sales outperformance at the higher end. CAKE (CL-Buy) is best positioned to benefit from this trend.Oh and there is something in there about "sustained high unemployment" weighing everything down but SHH, I'M EATING CHEESECAKE.
Incidentally, Goldman discloses in the report that it owns more than 1% of common equity of THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY-and more than 5% of Burger King Holdings, Inc.??? Who knew. Also they noted that they do the investment banking for Tim Hortons? The world is really weird.
When I think "high-end dining" I think of The Cheesecake Factory. Nothing says fancy like a plate of sliders.
And a menu of ads.
The Cheesecake Factory is where civilization goes to die.
I was dragged to the one in Chicago and every single patron could have easily gone straight to a Tea Party rally after consuming their billion calorie dessert.
Also, the percentage of parents threating to "smack" their kids if they didn't "shut-up" was in the high 70s.
Fat, rude and loud seemed to be the requirements for entry.
I'm having vapors just thinking about it.
(I'm not anti-fat...I'm anti-eating heaping platters of cheesecake if you are obese, cause that's just stupid).
Oh but that MEATLOAF!
"Goldman Sachs--Home of the Whopper"
You have to admire the Cheesecake Factor for managing to become a hugely successful restaurant chain despite its name including the word "factory," which is probably one of the least appetizing words in the English language.
See also: Andy Warhol
Like Dress Barn
Cracker Barrel.
Spaghetti Warehouse
I've never understood why the plus-size version is Dress Barn Woman. As though skinny Dress Barn is unisex?
Fat Dress Barn is "Dress Barn Women" because in department stores, "Misses" clothing runs 0-14(ish) and "Women's" is plus sizes. I am not sure what this says about our society, but there it is.
But it shows that there must be market niche for a foogmagorium, meaning that "Professor P. J. Cornucopia's Fantastic Foodmagorium and Great American Steakery" can finally come to pass...
I went to a Cheesecake Factory ten years ago in Atlanta. It was upscale - Evander Holyfield was there! Then I went to one outside a strip mall in Rochester two years ago. Evander Holyfield was decidedly not there.
Was he the maitre d', or just dining?
There is a disconnect somewhere between a given town or suburb getting a host of big chain restaurants - it means they're significant enough to be noticed and considered 'a market.'
The amount of times I've heard people go 'Oooohhh, The Cheesecake Factory' I could not count on one hand.
Simultaneously, the food is crap and the restaurants are prefabricated and exactly like every other incarnation, so the novelty and false-sense of status is immediately undermined by the very nature of the place.
Then again, people like stuffing their faces with crap, so it's all good.
Monday.
Ugh, every time a new chain restaurant opens in our ~200,000 pop. city, people go NUTS. "OMG we're finally big enough for a Chili's! I can hardly wait." These are also the people who only stop at chain restaurants when travelling because they're "safe".
What really makes me angry is that the Chili's here charges the same amount for food as my favourite restaurant,which my friends dismiss because "it is kind of expensive". Yet they'll happily eat shit from Chili's with grins all over their face.
Monday.
This is EXACTLY what I meant.
Don't even get me started on the 'safe' thing.
I KNOW. Like really, chain restaurants are bastions of asepsis? I, and my previously-used dip, would beg to differ.
THIS x 1,000,000.
Any guesses as to how much a cheeseburger with fries costs at the TGI Fridays in Times Square? NINETEEN FUCKING DOLLARS. That is more than a goddamned Daniel Boulud fancy-ass burger at DBGB.
Oh! Oh! And when they do go to fancy-ass establishments I frequent, they complain about the serving size. PEOPLE! Quantity is not quality. You are not supposed to eat your weight in pasta.
You can get a decent steak for $19.
Just what the hell do you have to do to a piece of salmon to make it cost you 1,673 calories? CF= higher end alright.. of the scale!
In an effort to eat healthy at CF once, I ordered a salad. The 8-inch mountain of lettuce, dressing and bacon bits they delivered was probably somehow at least 1,673 calories.
For Crap Food, Pizzeria Uno (or whatever they are calling nowadays) has got it all over CF's enormous inedible portions.
Hmmm. Maybe rich people can't afford to go to actually fancy $100+ a head restaurants and now are going to Cheesecake Factory instead?
I would call Ruth' Chris, Mortons, Shula's, et. al. fancy dining. Cheesecake Factory is where I go when I need to kill two hours before the movie.
I have to say that I've been going out a lot lately, and especially at restaurants, I have seen little to no sign of a recession-depression. Granted I haven't been going to 4 star places, but I also haven't been going to the Cheesecake Factory either.
Never bet against the American propensity to stuff their faces with complete and total shit.
or their minds.