Wednesday, December 16th, 2009
15

Finally, Someone Explains What Art Basel Was All About!

WORKYou know, I read all the reviews of Art Basel Miami, and I didn't link to any of them, because they bored me. Finally, late-breaking, here is an account of the art fair that I actually enjoyed reading! "It all began when some friends took me to a party where I ultimately met a very well-known German artist. Aside from the fact he was three times my age-and weight-there was something very seductive about being force-fed bumps, champagne, and chocolate. The German artist asked me if I wanted to come to his hotel room for a nightcap, and even though my vision was blurred-in this case that was a good thing-it became increasingly clear I didn't have a choice. Once I finished raiding his mini-bar, it was apparent that there was an expectation of sex in return for his generosity throughout the evening. Fortunately for me, we had the same turn-on: watching me jerk-off. I made him watch from the other side of the room because it's hard to concentrate when someone's talking dirty to you in German." GOD BLESS.

15 Comments / Post A Comment

Kakapo (#2,312)

I just completely adore BUTT magazine. It should come out much more frequently.

HiredGoons (#603)

This statement is true.

iplaudius (#1,066)

I just completely adore BUTT.

HiredGoons (#603)

I used to date one of the editors.

Very briefly. Very.

It's a good thing you are not a female because the feminist sites would be all up in arms about this. Is that the fat German guy in the first picture? Cause I think you had non-sex with Bruce Weber.

I skimmed this first, missed the quotation marks, and read the quote Choire's first-hand account.

KarenUhOh (#19)

Choochstag.

Mindpowered (#948)

Verchooched

Tulletilsynet (#333)

Chooch mal.

oudemia (#177)

Dirty German is really, really dirty.

Rod T (#33)

This vastly improved a crap day. Thank you.

Abe Sauer (#148)

This is the anti-Keillor post.

ericdeamer (#945)

And thank God for it.

Rod T (#33)

Or …
"That's strange. I thought Art Basel was more of a circle jerk."

City_Dater (#2,500)

Stories like this make me proud to be an American and an artist.

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