Monday, December 21st, 2009

Dissident Cleric's Controversial Remarks Pretty Good, Actually

To all a good night"My advice does not contradict the Bible's eighth commandment because God's love for the poor and despised outweighs the property rights of the rich. Let my words not be misrepresented as a simplistic call for people to shoplift. The observation that shoplifting is the best option that some people are left with is a grim indictment of who we are. Rather, this is a call for our society no longer to treat its most vulnerable people with indifference and contempt."
-Father Tim Jones, a vicar from Yorkshire, England, who delivered a sermon on Sunday in which he suggested that those in desperate need steal from large chain stores rather than resort to prostitution or robbery.


26 Comments / Post A Comment

mathnet (#27)

The establishment owes ye Snickers.

Slava (#216)

Wait… is he suggesting that people resort to robbery rather than resorting to prostitution or robbery?

petejayhawk (#1,249)

Well, your basic Tesco shoplift isn't actually robbery; robbery implies the use of violence or intimidation to take something from someone against their will. The more you know…

Rod T (#33)

But large chain stores are filled with crap. I'd go for the prostitution. Hell, I did!

Mindpowered (#948)


Is he going to make bail for people who take his advice and get busted? How about getting your ass out of your useless pulpit, harass and shame the big chain stores into giving you lots of stuff and start a food bank.
Dickhead clergy.

shaunr (#726)

"God’s love for the poor and despised outweighs the property rights of the rich." And their right to dole out 'charity'.

Happy Christmas.

"Right to dole out charity?" Charity may be patronizing but Mr. Priesty could do something practical instead of blathering.

hman (#53)

Smiths listicle, please.

Flashman (#418)

You mean, the best things to shoplift from W.H. Smiths?:

8. A Cadbury's Creme Egg, because it's May and probably stale as fuck and you've been stuck in this line for going on 5 minutes now.
7. A copy of Viz, hidden inside the Observer that you are paying for.

Mary HK Choi (#1,469)

Creme Eggs are made year-round over there. Just sayin'.

HiredGoons (#603)

Great, now I want an egg cream.

NeonTrotsky (#2,249)

Unfortunately, the easiest way to be suspected of shoplifting from a big box store is to look poor and/or disheveled or possess skin any shade darker than pale white…

HiredGoons (#603)

God loves the free market you socialist scumbag.

Wait, I mean… praise Jeebus.

kneetoe (#1,881)

He's advocating for free markets in his own (clearly misguided and godless) way.

Ron Obvious (#351)

Compared to the really icky "prosperity gospel" which seems to be all the rage in evangelical Protestantism at the moment, Father Tim's proposal is mighty thin gruel, indeed, for outrage.

KarenUhOh (#19)

What I'm learning today is that this God seems pretty damn Mixed Up.

iplaudius (#1,066)

My life was a war that could never be won
They gave me a number and murdered Valjean
When they chained me and left me for dead
Just for stealing a mouthful of bread

josh_speed (#97)

Exactly–this what happens to Poors that steal.
[Then they make a bombastic musical about you for which you get no royalties...]

And your whore mother dies of syphilis.

kneetoe (#1,881)

I hope people were taking coins out of the collection basket while listening to this.

Screen Name (#2,416)

From now on my uptown "shopfliting name" is The Vicar.

Needy Shoplifter Strikes Upper East Side
Police say 'The Vicar' remains at large, well dressed

Mindpowered (#948)

I call Father Ted

forksclovetofu (#2,665)

At the local pathmark, they've had to move all the gum under lock and key after being hit multiple nights by kids who would come in and throw whole rows of gum in a garbage bag and dash. Presumably, they sell it at school? Sad times.

Flashman (#418)

Poor dears. That gum is probably the only solid food that they've gotten to eat all day.

stuffisthings (#1,352)

First Morrissey, now this guy.

Also, speaking of: does anyone reckon that Cadbury World is open Christmas day? I was planning on spending all day at home alone with half a chicken and a curryfied pizza, but now apparently I need to avoid my landlord…

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