British retailer Tesco has apologized after one of its Christmas cards, which reads "SANTA loves all kids. Even GINGER ones," unsurprisingly provoked fury in people with red hair, who tend to be the quickest to fly off the handle in explosive rage. "It is never our intention to offend any customer and we are sorry if this card caused any upset," said a spokeswoman for the company, which has withdrawn the card.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
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Do they have a "Santa loves all kids. Except that fucker Joe Lieberman"?
Because I would TOTALLY send that out.
I have mistakenly spent all morning google news searching Joe Lieberman, and I think I need to go stand in front of the hand dryer, I am literally sweating with rage.
I would like to pay a bunch of drama kids to dress like the Furies and chase him around. Fucker.
I couldn't even make it through the NY Times article about him without convulsing and going to Open Secrets and researching his top campaign contributors. Fucker
I have access to drama kids, in Connecticut even! This is an excellent idea. I will offer them credit.
I thought you wrote "furries" and I'm like, hmmm, wonder what kind of drama class that is?
But Furies...Yes! And Medusa...so he can turn to stone, to match his hardened, black, cold heart.
Any stats on whether gingers commit knifecrime more than other races?
Why waste money on studies when everybody knows the answer?
"...unsurprisingly provoked fury in people with red hair, who tend to be the quickest to fly off the handle in explosive rage."
Whoah, set your fire crotches on stun.
There has to be a "redheaded stepchild" joke here, but I'm too drunk to make it, sadly.
at least rest easy that "Lieberman" has entered the lexicon as describing a slithering, lying fuck who you'd like to Berlusconi right in the pie hole.
as in Tiger Lieberman'd his wife .... or Madoff Lieberman'd all those investors.
"It is never our intention to offend any customer..."
Should read:
"When singling out people based on arbitrary characteristics and implying they are somehow lesser, It is never our intention to offend any customer..."
Fixed.
I have never understood the "ginger" prejudice in Britain. Isn't it a coded reference to anyone of Irish descent? And therefore RACIST as fuck?
Yep!
Brits do have a meanspirited side, barely sublimated.
I have never met a red-haired person who wasn't friendly - you get the sense that the capacity for arrogance was taunted or beaten out of them long ago. They tend to be kind.
Except for some. An interesting misanthropy might result from ill-treatment, that legendary temper. Don't get on Lily Cole's wrong side.
"And that, my friend, is how I came to be known as Heat Miser."
EXACTLY.
Holy crap yes.
+1 for the mouseover text, Balk.
Now, if it said, "even Nazi skinhead youth," that would be heelarryuss. Picture the little tyke freshly shorn, tattooed, wearing a black tank top, camo painter pants, and the cutest little stormtrooper boots you've ever seen. To a true Catholic, only the fat man in the red suit would be the offensive image on that card. Oh, those crazy Christians and their wacky rituals.