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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

39

Flicked Off: "The Road"

THE ROADSESSo, as you know, due to all the jokes and stuff about it, The Road was a book about a guy and his kid who are heading south in a hideous post-apocalytpic United States, in the hopes-one sort of gathers-that if there won't be food and maybe some still-living trees there that maybe at least it will be vaguely warm down there. Nuclear (or whatever) winter kills! So do people, who are the only food left, which is why this is a perfect movie for Thanksgiving release. So this very spare book became a movie, and it is very rare that a popular movie can be as equally spare as a spare book, and that is the case with this, where the movie becomes movie-like. It becomes cinematical. This is not all terrible. John Hillcoat, who directed The Proposition, which, it must be remembered, was an pre-apocalyptic nightmare of a film, which is to say, an Australian historical film, that was produced by, among others, Tina Brown's brother Chris, and so he can strike a balance between austerity and exciting movie-ness. Nick Cave wrote that very excellent screenplay for The Proposition, and also did its quite great soundtrack, along with his regular collaborator Warren Ellis, who actually is Australian. Cave and Hillcoat are now at work on a screenplay for The Wettest Country in the World, which is a fictionalized true-life book about bootleggers in Virginia. But, despite their devotion to each other, Nick Cave is where The Road goes terribly wrong.

The soundtrack could not be more terrible. I say this as a long-time devotee of Nick Cave. He is a musical hero. My love for him endures all manner of records, but three of his four records in the 00's are just fantastic and the fourth ain't bad. This miserable soundtrack though is sweeping where it should be meditative; it is tinkly and plinky with piano meanderings where it should be authoritative; it is abstract where it should direct; it is annoying and grating and absurdly repetitive throughout. I despised it. If this soundtrack were a pigeon, I would bite its head off on some stage. It was terribly, terribly bad!

That the script escapes criticism is a lucky thing for its writer, Joe Penhall, the English playwright for whom this is the first big Hollywood break. Certain liberties must be taken! And hence we have the appearance of the boy's mother, the man's wife, who is not a figure in the book because she was way already dead. This extra material is actually handled as well as anyone could ever expect!

Obviously, Viggo Mortensen, the star of this here puppy, is exceptionally good. I mean, when has he been bad? Never that is when. I mean, he was good in GI Jane, so what do you expect. He is also extremely emaciated. (Again.)

A large part of your issue with this movie, I expect, besides the despicable, ruinous, hateful soundtrack, is whether you can deal with children and their constant whining. If you have a child, you will probably love this movie! If you dislike children, well, this is pretty much like watching Mame or Annie for you. You will be thinking, "Oh, just leave the child to DIE ALREADY." So there's that whole issue. The child in question is relatively inoffensive as children go but of course he blubbers quite a bit and does annoying things, which I suppose is in keeping with how children are in real life, apocalypse or no.

39 Comments / Post A Comment

LondonLee
LondonLee (#922)

Actually, I think people with kids might find it very hard to watch as our insides churn when we think about bad things happening to our kids.

MisterHippity

Speaking as a guy with a kid, I can concur. We don't tend to enjoy scary shit involving kids in danger.

jetztinberlin
jetztinberlin (#392)

THANK YOU! I thought I was the only nerd for whom a film could be utterly ruined by a bad score.

Also, I am going to marry Viggo Mortensen, but since I am already going to co-share him with my boyfriend, anyone else who wants to share is welcome.

oudemia
oudemia (#177)

I think I am the only person who thought Dead Man was ruined by Neil Young's score. This is apparently a heretical opinion.

beingiseasy
beingiseasy (#1,735)

didn't Viggo retire from filmmaking recently or is that just a salacious rumor from Viggo-haters?

Tulletilsynet
Tulletilsynet (#333)

Please tell more about the cannibalism scenes!

And some recipes for slices of a miserable wretch kept alive as fresh meat source!

Choire Sicha

Oh my GOD, they are GNARLY. Like actually scary, in a way that I didn't find the book scary? (The book was creepy and menacing and upsetting and I really liked it.) While watching the movie though, you're like, OH MY GOD THEY'RE GOING TO EAT PEOPLE, FUUUUUCK.

ContainsHotLiquid

Well Sally, I don't give a pig's ass what anybody says, I still say you make a hell of a pot of beans.

Tulletilsynet
Tulletilsynet (#333)

Thanks -- and the recipes?

Tulletilsynet
Tulletilsynet (#333)

I like how in a Cormac McCarthy book you have to go look up a whole bunch of words in what you thought was your own language, but lots of them are not in any dictionary. My favorite in The Road was "claggy".

"... teeth claggy with human flesh ..."

Hirham
Hirham (#1,709)

Claggy, I think I've heard that in like the rural North of England or something, to mean muddy, like shoes on a farm. Fantastic word choice if that's what it is.

kitten_witawip

SPOILER Maybe. I did not understand why some of the people in were alive but half eaten. Was that in the book?

Lionel Mandrake

@kitten_witawip: Google the Death of a Thousand Cuts.

Natasha Vargas-Cooper

I think KATIE ROPHIE said that The Road, as a novel, was gimmicky (pornographic in it's bleakness and repetition; and, at best kind, was a kind of a gothic thrill ride. I really liked it tho, thanks O!). But KATIE ROPHIE also said that was it was an effective parenting guide. Like, how much horror should you shield your child away from and how honest are you with them about the fuck-a-monkey show we're all a part of. Heads on sticks etc.

The point is, I'm looking forward to Abe's Cormac inspired comment on this. (doitoditdooiitt)

Abe Sauer
Abe Sauer (#148)

In that eye, that picture house and the awl did poke. Who would come other? Thanksgiving quaked near. A great shambling, silent mutant. No traffic. Whatever his antecedents, that day he was something wholly other than their sum, through unraveling of loins and ledgerbooks, he stood at last, darkened and dumb at the shore of a multiplex void without terminus or origin.

Choire's great hand tilted slapped key after key after key until what was once blank and serene as the great bleached salts was now pocked and ugly and guilty like the trespasser's face. The reader who believes that the secrets of this world are forever hidden lives in mystery and fear. Pageviews will erode the deeds of this life. But that reader who sets himself the task of singling out the comment thread of order from the tapestry will by the decision alone have taken charge of the world and it is only by such taking charge that he will effect a way to dictate the terms of his own day's fate.

Rw
Rw (#1,458)

LOL. I love me some Cormac... I've been waiting for someone to bone Blood Meridian for years. Actually, now that I've said that, I hope that doesn't happen... although if this does well it's a foreFUCKINGgone conclusion.I know, I'll beat them to it, I'll shoot a low budget version with some of the kids from the neighborhood. Take that Hollywood.

Pop Socket
Pop Socket (#187)

***golf clap***

Natasha Vargas-Cooper

He'd come to see a message in each bite, a message and a warning, and so this tableau of the slain berries and devoured crust did prove to be. He awoke in the morning and turned over the blanket. He put his hands on the cat. There would not be enough sauce for two.

Mmmrrww

Ok just a bite.

MMmmm.

Rest now.

belltolls
belltolls (#184)

@ RW It's happening. Todd Field is writing the screenplay and I guess directing though I think nobody will ever make a great movie out of Cormac's books. They are as dense as a year old holiday fruitcake. Just read Suttree and am going for The Crossing. But Blood...the kid and the Judge are already in my head forever.

@ Abe That is amazing you can do that.

Matt
Matt (#26)

We Hate Your Kids (TM Nick Denton 2005)

En Vague
En Vague (#82)

You know what movie has the WORST score? The Departed. Yes. Believe it. Unless someone can please explain to me why a film about Boston irish gangsters has to have a soundtrack featuring flamenco guitar.

Choire Sicha

AGREE ACTUALLY!

MisterHippity

Yes, and VAN MORRISON SINGING PINK FLOYD.

What the fuck????

oudemia
oudemia (#177)

To repeat: Neil Young's score (can we call it a score?) for Dead Man. If I never hear another twang . . .

ContainsHotLiquid

Oudemia, I am going to have to DISAGREE with you. There is a wonderful Achewood that will support me while I cry.

LondonLee
LondonLee (#922)

The film itself is pretty bad too.

Rw
Rw (#1,458)

co- fuckin'-sign...that Movie is bullshit.

resipsaloquacious

Because the Flamenco guitarist featured in the soundtrack is Ireland's own -- Shanty McGregor!

Look it up!

Brad Nelson
Brad Nelson (#2,115)

At first I was all, "Whoa, why did Choire write this as though he had a brain aneurysm right before" and then I thought, "Ah, Cormac McCarthy. Ho ho."

Neopythia
Neopythia (#353)

I believe the wife is in the book, though only in flashback form. I assumed she would be used the same way in the movie, but I'm yet to see it. *Shakes fist at Choire*

Rw
Rw (#1,458)

Yeah she's a flash Back in the book... no spoilers.

resipsaloquacious

If Balk were to write a post about eating human flesh, he would probably attach a pic of a deep fried Bonobo.

Hobbesian
Hobbesian (#255)

"Attaching the pork chop" is my new favorite euphamism.

Krugmanic Depressive

Re: This child. Like the other parents, I don't particularly enjoy the "cute child in mortal peril" genre anymore, BUT! This young lad has agreed to star in the American and doubtless fuckedbeyondmeasure travesty of Let the Right One In. For this, he should be eaten, repeatedly, onscreen. After he watches his father die for no reason. After his mother tells him he isn't worth living for and kills herself. The point: do not mess with my perfect little Swedish vampire movie. Thx.

Minou
Minou (#258)

Just put the fucking baby on the fucking spit and heat it the fuck up, you pussy.

Ron Obvious
Ron Obvious (#351)

Choire, I believe the name of the Matt Bondurant book Hillcoat and Cave are turning into a film is "The Wettest County in the World." It's a great read, by the way, and should make a powerful, if bleak, film.

growler
growler (#476)

Rw, you better get it done before 2011:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0983189/

(#1,940)

It had to come to me, as dreams come upon the weak in a foreshadowing of their own compliance in a surrender they cannot forestall, that to write would be a merry blunder. It would only be necessary for my stories to empeople a plain, set the players upon each other bound to nothing but caprice and blind hatred, and then record the fallen and their shapes. I would generally take care to include the elimination of infants and a fair amount of wandering. Rendered in my High Stile, this practice led easily to praise even when the work was no higher in character than snuff and thin on insight. I learned that the o'erpowering impact of style is immune to simple degradations of time. I have limned the known earth with this horse and reached the end of the baked, glassy plain where I waited upon the bank wagon, and this waiting I suffered without regret.

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