The Traffic King of Reddit

How to make something go viral on Reddit: Have this guy post it.

New York City, August 27, 2015

★★★★★ A general thrum of the city came in on the fresh air. There was a gag back in college, a premise completely forgotten till now, that the weather and guitar pop could share adjectives: thrumming. Down on Amsterdam, a parking-enforcement cop in short sleeves eyed an insulation-company van. Summer clothes were a matter of welcoming the breeze, not escaping the heat. “Oh, my gosh,” the eight-year-old said, “that cloud is so bright white.” An unnecessary downblast from an air conditioner hit the top of the steps where people were following the cookie smell, one stair at a time, down into the bakery. In the afternoon, out the window, clouds darkened and began to close together. Then, having issued the warning against taking the day for granted, they relented and separated again. The three-year-old argued that it was chilly enough for his Batman costume to be practical for the playground. Some note of solvent on the breeze brought back model paints in Philadelphia summers three and a half decades before. “Super Bad” played out the window of something in traffic, most likely a clean white Land Rover. Home plate was open for wiffle ball; the concrete drinking fountain was being used to fill water balloons. Once the batting was over, Batman shed the costume for the Superman t-shirt underneath. Outside the playground again, a lively wind came along 70th Street and the three-year-old went running off into it.

Travis Kalanick on The Uber Endgame

IMG_0304 Earlier this week, the Awl posited how Uber might metastasize into mass transit and potentially privatize public transit along the way, at least in some cities. That piece found its way into Uber CEO Travis Kalanick’s Facebook Newsfeed, where he commented on the post of the person who shared it; a screencap of his comments was shared with us. We’re presenting it here because even though his comments were made in a limbo between public and private—someone’s Facebook wall—which makes us feel not a little weird to share it, Kalanick is possibly the single most important person in the world with respect to the future of transit, so we think people should be aware of his thinking on the matter:

IMG_0304Points one and two speak for themselves—we agree! although it seems like many people who need public transit but are ill-served by it also probably can’t quite afford Uber yet, either?—but it’s worth looking more closely point three (which our piece didn’t really discuss, but anyway). Kalanick’s point is that Uber pays, on average, four times the taxes that a yellow cab does on a per trip basis. This is a very specific word choice! (The implication though, I believe, is that Uber is in fact better at funding public transit than yellow cabs.) That assertion, which the Uber NYC Twitter account also made a few days ago, is based on two things: a fifty-cent surcharge on every yellow cab ride, and the approximate eight percent sales tax on every Uber trip, which, according to Uber, averages out to two dollars per ride.

What a Pack of Cigarettes Costs, in Every State


Every summer since 2011, The Awl has divined the price of a pack of Marlboro Red cigarettes by calling a convenience store in every state in America because—here’s a definitive fact for you—cigarettes are cool. Certain editors at this publication may currently be inclined to say otherwise due to old age, but cigarettes are amazing. They look great dangling from your lips outside a party, they feel smooth and comforting between your fingers on the long walk to a final exam, they taste amazing after two drinks. (I will concede that I once tried to smoke a cigarette after breakfast and almost threw up. Nobody’s perfect!)

Cigarettes are also expensive, especially in New York, where they are the most expensive. They are cheapest in Virginia, where the price has once again dipped below five dollars per pack, so you are welcome to uproot your life and move there, where you can smoke sixty cigarettes a day and die gasping in the Great Dismal Swamp instead of shelling out for juice cleanses.

According to a recent report from New York’s Independent Budget Office, smoking rates in New York have steadily increased since 2010, “in tandem with declines in spending on tobacco control programs.” This suits me fine, as New York has always hovered in my mind’s eye as a perpetually steaming metropolis, haunted by smokestacks imprisoned in human bodies. Also, vaping sucks.

As always, YMMV.

Everything Is Bullshit: Study

• “A major investigation into scores of claims made in psychology research journals has delivered a bleak verdict on the state of the science. An international team of experts repeated 100 experiments published in top psychology journals and found that they could reproduce only 36% of original findings. The study, which saw 270 scientists repeat experiments on five continents, was launched by psychologists in the US in response to rising concerns over the reliability of psychology research,” the Guardian reports.

• “The vetted studies were considered part of the core knowledge by which scientists understand the dynamics of personality, relationships, learning and memory. Therapists and educators rely on such findings to help guide decisions, and the fact that so many of the studies were called into question could sow doubt in the scientific underpinnings of their work,” notes the New York Times.

Percussions, "Digital Arpeggios"

Summer leaves easy. It leaves when you’re not paying attention. It leaves before you get a chance to spend the kind of time together you’ve been promising since May. While you’re busy or distracted or taking “just a couple of minutes” to focus on something else—something that is not and will never be more important—summer is on its own, growing older, growing without you, getting ready to go, and then summer’s gone. Summer goes and leaves you alone, with only a few memories and a sense of regret that you will never quite shake no matter what you do with the rest of your life. Summer leaves easy and now there’s only a week before it goes. Chances are you’re going to screw that up too. Here’s a track from Kieran “Four Tet” Hebden. Enjoy.

New York City, August 26, 2015

★★★★ In the shade, the early temperature was somewhere between relatively cool and absolutely so. The sun established itself, and established some heat with it, provisionally. There in the open and down in the still-choking subway were summer’s redoubts; by late day, with the sun up in the treetops and the heights of buildings, scattering window reflections, there was only the subway. A plain straight railing atop a walkup building was a streak of fire. The tiresome rumble of the air conditioner could be turned off and the windows opened, to let in the breezes and sirens of night.

Everybody Is Flipping Out, Man

Distribution of a proposed one percent sales tax on flips in 2014

In real estate, “flipping” is the practice of buying a piece of property and then selling it a short time later, often having renovated, rehabilitated, or otherwise upgraded it to increase its value. Despite being a risky and expensive proposition, this kind of thingprac happens all over the country. According to real estate analytics firm RealtyTrac, nationally, the average return for investors on a house flip in the first quarter of 2015 was 35.1 percent, up from thirty-five percent at the same time last year; returns on flips in the New York and New Jersey metro area—where flips made up 3.7 percent of all sales—however, were even greater: investors saw an average return of 47.1 percent in the first quarter of this year.

New York City’s most successful flip last year, the Post reported in December, was a one-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment on the Upper West Side purchased for just under two hundred and seventy-five thousand dollars in February; it was resold in September for nearly eight hundred and ninety thousand dollars. “The best neighborhoods for profitable flipping are those that come with a higher risk because of location and condition of properties,” Ivona Perecman, a luxury broker and real estate attorney, wrote in her summary of RealtyTrac’s analysis. Flipping is, in a word, speculation.

In Search of the Greatest Rum Cocktail Ever Made

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Welcome to the competitive cocktail circuit, where the world’s best mixologists unite with a singular goal: to develop the world’s perfect rum cocktail. In the video below, host Chris Kevin takes us on a journey through the exclusive and mysterious world of the Bacardi Legacy Global Cocktail Competition to find the world’s best Bacardi rum cocktail – and mixologist.

In front of an audience of the most exacting critics and judges, cocktail makers from Singapore to Ireland present their legacy rum cocktails. Each presentation calls for a description of the drink’s theme, followed by a live demonstration and tasting of the signature cocktail.

Can one intrepid mixologist make a drink that rivals famous forbears such as the mojito or daiquiri? Watch the video to find out.

The Traffic King of Reddit


Last week, while avoiding work, I stared at a gif of an endless model train spiral for what seemed like hours, transfixed by the constant, seamlessly looping stream of miniature carriages, moving without end, going nowhere, yet constantly in motion. It’s one of thousands of Reddit posts I’ve seen from GallowBoob without knowing who he was or how he appeared on the site so often; if I had gone anywhere else on the internet to procrastinate, odds are, I’d still be looking at something he made popular first for millions of internet users around the world.


With more than 5,546,795 link karma (Internet points given for posting popular content), GallowBoob is Reddit’s top curator of gifs, photos, videos, and clickable material. The average karma count for active users is just over thirty-one thousand (as measured back in 2011, when the number of users was far lower than it is today), and with a mere twenty-five slots on the front page reserved for the most popular content, few users ever get their posts within spitting distance. Getting to the front page for a typical user is a rare, serendipitous occurrence, if it ever happens at all. GallowBoob’s posts make it to the site’s front page on a near-daily basis, which means that the material he shares helps determine the viral content that spreads across the entire web.

A Poem by Robin Beth Schaer

Middle Flight

The baby’s feet never touch the ground.
Before now, he floated in dark water
so I hold him like an exile for months

until his own weight is no longer foreign.
Someday he too will chase his lost lightness
half-remembered toward the sky. History

is full of flightless falls: metal wings
and bird machines built without destination,
just to be loose of the anchor. No one

flew until a papermaker watched
his wife’s chemise swell beside a fire
and conjured a craft to ride the heat.

Like putting a cloud in a paper bag, he filled
the first balloon with air from burning straw
and wet wool, and launched a rooster

above Versailles. The night my son takes
his first steps, I let paper lanterns go
in the dark and watch them soar from sight.