Winter Carnival: This Time I Mean It @8:57 AM
Listen, baby, I know you've been hurt before. I know I was wrong, and that the promises I made turned out to be empty words. I understand, I do. I can totally see why you're scared, why you're hesitant to open your heart and trust me. But ya gotta give me another chance. Baby, believe me: That other time? I don't know what I was thinking. I was crazy! I was not even the same guy then. But if everything we've been through means anything at all, I need you to trust me now. Come here. Look into my eyes so you can see how serious about this I am. Baby, as AccuWeather.com meteorologist Tom Kines is my witness, I will give you up to twelve inches. Come on, beautiful, let's go out and panic buy together. 0
Why I Did It: How I Came to Write a Comic Book About an Aborted Fetus @4:20 PM
In Why I Did It, artists and authors explain just why they made something. This week, Matthew Lickona talks about the making of Alphonse: A Monster For Our Time, a comic book about, yes, an aborted fetus.
I mean, yes, what was I thinking? Here’s the rationale I wish I could give.
A lot of good horror stories are moral anxiety writ large (see also: Frankenstein and humanity’s attempt to put nature on the rack, The Bacchae as the first in a long line of what my friend Michael calls “you screw, you die” stories.) And I think it’s fair to say that there is moral anxiety about abortion. READ MORE 30
What's Next? Maya Angelou's Super Bowl Picks? @4:13 PM
Apparently, at the New Yorker, it used to be impossible to even pull a column out of Hendrik Hertzberg every couple weeks. And now, he is liveblogging about the Oscars. You guys. 3
It is true: the Mark Harris piece on awards campaigning in Hollywood is delightful. @4:00 PM 1
Bear With Three Legs Walks Like People! @3:40 PM
I have watched this like four times now and I'm still all, WHA? Anyway: "No one seems to know how the bear lost her right paw and foreleg, but she's adjusted with aplomb, instead choosing to go bipedal," says Backpacker, calling it "a testament to the black bear's adaptability for survival." So very very true. 24
Knifecrime Island Is Actually Lovecrime Island @3:20 PM
Let me offer you some additional, and contradictory, testimony on why there is all that constant glassing over in England and its wholly-owned subsidiary islands of stabbitude. The thing is? They're just crazy in love. In a recent science poll, almost one-third of Americans said they'd rather spend Valentine's Day with their pets than a person. 50% of Turks said the same! 2 out of 5 Indians agreed! But get this: only 18% of Knifecrimers surveyed said they would prefer to spend the day with a pet, rather than a lover. The people of Britain are love-besotted romantics! And all that passion makes them violent. Now you understand. (See also: Edward II.) 9
You Are Depressed On The Internet @3:00 PM
If you tend to surf the Internet obsessively you are probably depressed, says Science. Let's look at the numbers! READ MORE 25
The "TV Event" As Bipartisanship, or, How the Super Bowl Helps Kill Health Care Reform @2:40 PM
It was totally great that New Orleans got to celebrate last night. Now, are you ready for your Monday come-down? The Super Bowl–or more specifically, the way we watch it–is connected to the possibility that Democrats won't pass health care reform this year. Or that the two Democratically-controlled chambers of Congress that have already passed some version of health care reform might not manage to send a unified bill to a Democratic president's desk for his signature. The lessons, as always in America, are to be found in a reading of what happened on the teevee. READ MORE 41
14-Year-Old Girl Who Dresses As A Sailor And Dances Around On Internet Thinks She's Popular In Japan Because She's "A Westerner" @2:20 PM
We say "what a world" all the time in these parts, but, really, what a world. 10
Science: Your iPad will totally fuck up your back. But you're still going to get one, aren't you, you trendsucking imbecile? @2:10 PM 6
"Some people outside of Texas may have this view that we're a gun-toting society; we're not."
—State Senator Dan Patrick (R-Houston), on the current debate over whether visitors to the state Capitol should be forced to go through metal detectors when they enter the building. "The discussion comes after a man last month fired several shots on the steps of the towering Capitol in Austin. State troopers tackled him and no one was wounded, but the incident spotlighted a predicament for lawmakers in a state where carrying handguns is not only legal but largely cherished." The man had been turned away from Patrick's office after requesting a private meeting with the Senator. @2:00 PM 14
San Francisco Helps Haiti @1:40 PM
James Fallows found this happening in the "Marina/Cow Hollow" neighborhood of San Francisco. It may be the case that in exchange for a yoga mat drop-off, they are sending money to Haiti! Maybe. (And it may be the case that your old yoga mat will be used for as bedding for "use" in "overcrowded hospitals"!) 21
Knifecrime Island Glassing Victim Speaks Out @1:20 PM
Greetings from Britain, "the glassing capital of the world":
I was glassed/bottled once a year for three years running. The first happened in Southport because I was wearing a long scarf. The third time was for accidentally spraying somebody with beer in the Old Blue Last. The second, and worst, was on Charing Cross Road in London by a guy who attempted to smash a bottle on the wall three times to stab me. I laughed at him but then he smashed the beer bottle in my face and ran off while his girlfriend cried: “Oh my gawwwwd. What ‘ave you done!” I put my hand to my head and felt a four-inch flap of skin come lose from my head.
Explaining Metropolitan Diary, Part Two @1:00 PM
Sometimes the Monday "news and notes from weird readers from all over" column in the New York Times baffles. (See: previously.) Today offers a fascinating example that may baffle you if you are not deeply immersed in the culture and its assumptions. READ MORE 12
Nothing to see, says Governor David Paterson's spokesman! @12:30 PM 6
Um, Adam Gopnik kind of liveblogged the Super Bowl? No matter. NOTHING can take away my joy over the Saints' victory. @12:15 PM 1
Here's another reason to not drink soda: It might give you cancer, right in the pancreas. "People who down two or more soft drinks a week may have double the risk of developing deadly pancreatic cancer, compared to non-soda drinkers, new research suggests." There are some questions about the methodology (and some nasty insinuations that maybe smoking will give you pancreatic cancer, which WAS NOT PART OF OUR DEAL, nicotine—I signed up for lung cancer only!) but I think from now on I'll stick with tonic or seltzer for my mixers. @12:00 PM 25
Rich People Things: Alan Greenspan's Window Is Always Open @11:40 AM
Well, this is awkward. Alan Greenspan, hailed for most of his nearly two-decade run as chairman of the Federal Reserve as a market savant of the first order, is now assailed from all sides for the Fed’s apparent role in overinflating the country’s garish housing bubble. The charge is a fraught one, reports Fortune magazine’s Geoff Colvin, since should it stick, it will fundamentally reshape perceptions of Greenspan’s legacy at the central bank. Already the sweep of the emerging indictment is such, Colvin writes, that “four years after leaving the Fed as the Greatest Central Banker Ever, the longest-serving chairman, the Maestro, Alan Greenspan is the designated goat." READ MORE 6
The Heart of the Andes @11:30 AM
This weekend's Wall Street Journal had a nice appreciation of Frederic Edwin Church's "The Heart of the Andes," which happens to be my favorite painting. I have spent countless hours at the Met just sitting in front of it and taking it in, and I never get tired of it. No matter how perfect your computer's resolution, seeing it on the screen does it no justice; the next time you're uptown you should definitely go take a look. 9
Neutral News and the 'Times' in Jerusalem @11:10 AM
This weekend's New York Times' public editor column was yet another doozy, covering the semi-recent news that the paper's Jerusalem bureau chief's son recently joined the IDF (before he traipses back to America to go to college). That the kid is going to great lengths to undermine his father's longstanding career is fascinating but we'll leave that for their family therapy sessions, about which: whew, good luck. Hoyt's column is unbearably dull until near the end, when he suddenly takes a side: "The Times sent a reporter overseas to provide disinterested coverage of one of the world’s most intense and potentially explosive conflicts, and now his son has taken up arms for one side." That's both rather stirring and accurate! Still it doesn't have too much meaning beyond emotional appeal. READ MORE 7
The Future Of America Is Written On Sarah Palin's Hand @10:50 AM
I suppose we should discuss HANDGATE. Did former Alaska governor Sarah Palin write something on her hand to help her remember her answer to a pre-screened question during this weekend's Tea Party convention? Is it a big deal? Can we resist making teleprompter comparisons? I don't know. I still think the idea that Sarah Palin will be president is a completely overblown fear of folks who, either out of frustration or a general contempt for the intelligence of the American electorate, somehow believe that we would ever vote for someone so manifestly unfit for the office. On the other hand, you look at recent history, and, well, you can sort of see what they're worried about. Ta-Nehisi Coates says that this is "what happens when you turn conservatism into nothing more than the white populist id." READ MORE 11
Automobile Ad Heats Up War Between The Sexes @10:30 AM
This ad, for the Dodge Charger, seems to have pretty much infuriated every woman who saw it last night, which is what you gals get for watching The Big Game. Here's a pretty cute insta-response, but let's be honest: Men are under siege. It has never been tougher to be a man than now. Unless you're at college, where it is apparently a never-ending parade of blowjob parties no matter how ridiculous your retro headgear looks. Anyway, the ladies keep yammering on about this one, which they probably should. I mean, no guy REALLY puts down the seat, am I right? 50
"For the good of the people of the state of Illinois and the Democratic Party, I will resign."
—Illinois Democratic lieutenant governor nominee Scott Lee Cohen, who, uh, has had some troubles in his past, announced that he would drop out of the race last night "at the Hop Haus, a bar and restaurant at 7545 N. Clark, during the Super Bowl." @10:20 AM 3
"ALBANY, N.Y. (AP) — New York Gov. David Paterson has met privately with key Democratic leaders about his re-election plans as questions swirl around the state capitol about a variety of unproven accusations involving the Democratic governor's personal conduct." @10:10 AM 7
Everything Is Will.i.am's Fault @9:50 AM
Pop music thing Will.i.am continued his impressive streak of ruining everything last night with his remix of The Who's "My Generation" for www.flo.tv. Yes, it is true, he actually changed the song's words to "Don't wanna die, I wanna get old." READ MORE 13
"We have to put in controls to protect the brand."
—A source explains the rationale behind MTV's decision to restrict the personal appearances of "Jersey Shore" cast members, lest they damage the franchise. Which is apparently somehow possible?
@9:40 AM 4
A Sports Team Won A Sports Trophy Last Night And People Were Happy @9:20 AM
I was once again struck by the complete absurdity of sports fandom last evening when I heard someone behind me (actually, it was Awl pal Meghan Keane) saying, "I think that's the most excited I've ever seen Alex Balk in my life." READ MORE 18
Oh Hell Yes @9:56 PM
Oh, there'll be more on this tomorrow from the straight man, if he doesn't die from excitement and alcohol poisoning tonight, but meanwhile, let us officially give a big HELL YES to the Saints win tonight at the Bowl That Finally Deserves To Be Called Super. It's sure nice to see New Orleans get a little attention after a few years of deadening quiet! (This, by the way, is what it sounds like inside a New Orleans household. Right???) Still, because this is America, tonight everyone's a winner! (Even losers from Indiana.) Everyone's a winner, that is, except anyone who wants to pay for sex in Miami tonight to celebrate. 32
Mr. Wrong: On Sunday It Is OK To Not Think About Super Bowl or America @5:01 PM
ARRROOO!!!! I complain a lot, but (as a result?) I am generally in a good mood, and I am in an extra-good mood right now because Sunday Feb. 7 is Super Bowl, which is the best and Most Important and Most American Holiday of the year because it is the most American, by which I mean the most Equal Opportunity and Indivisible with Liberty and Justice for All. READ MORE 19
