The legal saga of Steven Slater-the Jet Blue flight attendant who briefly raised the spirits of a weary nation when he departed his airplane via emergency slide-has come to an end, with Slater pleading to “a felony count of attempted criminal mischief and a misdemeanor count of criminal mischief.” There will be no jail time. It is hard to believe that this only happened two months ago, and yet, in another way, it seems like it happened forever ago, because holy hell has the world gone crazy lately.

This is actually pretty much all you need to know about last night’s circus. Paladino campaign spokesman Michael Caputo’s explanation of his boss’ early departure from the stage to hit the men’s room-”When you gotta go, you gotta go”-deserves to go down in New York political lore.

A look at the styles of Robert Benchley and S.J. Perelman that echo today among the kids.

“Why yes, that is lil jon selling pizza pies for charity at some random pizzeria on the corner.” Random pizzeria being at 8th Street and Broadway. “For some reason” apparently being “Celebrity Apprentice.” Gary Busey, Jose Canseco also in attendance. Man. The recession is rough. Times sure are weird.

Just a little East-er and a little Lower-er than the trendy part of the Lower East Side, Economy Candy (108 Rivington Street) is probably one of the most awesome places in all of New York.

Its name and signage might make you might think Economy Candy is just an outlet for knockoff, generic-branded versions of your favorite candies, but no: this place has almost anything and everything you’d ever want, sweetswise-including obscure and vintage candies. Did you even know such things existed?

As soon as you walk in, there’s this waft of candied sugar (more like a wall of smell, really) that can only really happen in the presence of a serious assortment of candy. But do not fear, health enthusiasts! There are also containers of dried (and some candied — obvs) fruit and nuts that are all very delicious and really reasonably priced. But the candy! The candy! Honestly, I cannot emphasize it enough: Economy Candy has any kind of candy you’ll ever need. What I’m saying is, they’ve got a lot of candy.

This content series is brought to you by the All-New 2011 Kia Sportage. Welcome to the Next Level.

Why are men more likely to become alcoholics than women? They get more of a dopamine rush when they drink than ladies do, and that rush is more enjoyable for them. Also, having to deal with how crazy ladies are all the time is going to make you want to drink heavily, am I right, Science?

To the Delaware Senate race, where Republican Christine O’Donnell squared off with Democrat Chris Coons in a debate this morning:

Coons said that creationism, which he considers “a religious doctrine,” should not be taught in public schools due to the Constitution’s First Amendment. He argued that it explicitly enumerates the separation of church and state.

“The First Amendment does?” O’Donnell asked. “Let me just clarify: You’re telling me that the separation of church and state is found in the First Amendment?”

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion,” Coons responded, reciting from memory the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.

“That’s in the First Amendment…?” O’Donnell responded.

Chris Coons, you are blowing this thing! What kind of an egghead knows the First Amendment by heart? Who wants to have a beer with that guy? Loser.

Here is what 46 tons of pot being burned by the Mexican government looks like. This was in May, and they hired a marching band and everything. They’ll be burning even more soon, as military police just completed the biggest pot bust in the country’s history: 105 tons of the stuff, wrapped in 10,000 packages, in Tijuana. As the BBC reports: “The drugs, found in houses and vehicles, were wrapped in differently coloured packages that had markings and pictures on them, including the cartoon character Homer Simpson.” Who has been declared a “true Catholic,” according to L’Osservatore Romano.

“Few people know it, and he does everything he can to hide it, but it is true: Homer J Simpson is a Catholic.”

Here is a picture of the Homer-stamped pot packs:

The Boston Globe has a whole photo essay about pot up today.

And here’s a video of the rock band High On Fire, who have yet to be declared true Catholics by the Vatican:

Football will remain dangerous: “Here’s the reality check to Peter King and all who want their violence safely commodified for Sunday: there is no making football safer. There is no amount of suspensions, fines, or ejections that will change the fundamental nature of a sport built on violent collisions. It doesn’t matter if players have better mouth guards, better helmets, or better pads. Anytime you have a sport that turns the poor into millionaires and dangles violence as an incentive, well, you reap what you sow.”

What does it look like to have a country where people are angry about their government and actually do something about it? Why, it looks like France! With six days of full-on national protests, with half-a-million people marching and students leaving schools en masse and factories of all sorts shut down, this is what you get when a significant percentage of workers have a way to come to agreement about rights that they would prefer for working people. You know: things that they think are in their best interests. Because they don’t spend their days in Stockholm Syndrome with the rich, begrudging welfare payments. The Parliament will vote on raising the retirement age later this week.

Even the chocolate-makers are on strike.

Oh and if you want to see the minority of protests, where there’s some violence, those are here. Because we love violence!