NFL Playoff Sonnet Picks

New Orleans -4 At San Francisco 47

The Saints’ offense is historically great
Drew Brees’ production just dominates.
They have so many weapons that can score.
Even on the road they’re tough to ignore.
Candlestick Park isn’t the Superdome
The 49ers defense stands alone.
Can Alex Smith and the offense keep pace
With the Saints scoring all over the place?
If Frank Gore can have a big game rushing
and their cornerbacks can be punishing
maybe San Francisco can eke one out.
Both coaches have serious genius clout.
If this was played indoors I’d reverse it.
But wind makes interceptions, so that’s that.

At New England -13.5 Denver 50.5

I wrote a sonnet for the Steelers and Pats.
I didn’t think Denver could win like that.
New England hasn’t won a playoff game
In five years, which is totally lame.
In recent years they’ve lost after bye weeks
to the Ravens and Jets, which gave fans tweaks.
Tebow is either amazing or flat
and God seems to like when he plays like that.
Some guy got mad I called him a savior;
His powers are spooky like Charles Xavier.
And the Pats’ defense is completely weak,
could they be facing an early defeat?
The Broncos may have Jesus on their side
But the Pats have Belichick, so it’s tied.

At Baltimore -7.5 Houston 36

The Texans played well with several back-ups
But this week Houston will be out of luck.
The Ravens defense is wholly beastly.
If they lose this game it will be freaky.
Arian Foster’s run game will be shut down
Andre Johnson seems rusty all-around.
T. J. Yates played a pretty good game.
But that was at home, Baltimore’s insane.
Joe Flacco has had kind of a bad season,
if they lose he’ll likely be the reason.
I like to cheer for the big underdog
But Houston has no future, like the blog.
Ray Rice will run for 200 plus yards.
Bring back “The Wire!” I miss you, Omar!

At Green Bay -7.5 NY Giants 53

The Giants had a nice home playoff win
But that doesn’t change the trouble they’re in.
The Packers are the best in the league
and at home they’re a perfect team indeed.
This could still be a very nice contest.
But it’ll take a lot to knock off the best.
Eli Manning has had a breakout year
Their run game gets receivers in the clear.
Their front four can get to Aaron Rodgers!
He’s in a zone and might not be bothered.
The Packers need to score forty or more
Because their D will let the G Men score.
And since this happens on frozen tundra
I’ll be taking the over and not the under.

Last weekend’s Sonnet Picks went 2–2 versus the spread and 2–2 versus
the over/under. That’s 130–131–7 overall.

Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.