by EA Hanks
Obviously I was taken to see Eclipse because my friend knows me well enough to know that, not only have I read the series, and seen the other movies, but I also have thoughts about both. Mostly these thoughts are about Mormon sexuality and anti-abortion propaganda, but also about how I give Robert Pattinson credit for wanting to be a good actor, and how I have nothing but empathy for how bonkers his life must be. Anyway, that’s not what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about is wigs.
Because I’m pretty sure the wig that Kristen Stewart (who I also want to give credit (and a sandwich) to!) is wearing is the best wig I’ve ever seen. Remember how she cut her hair into that ugly mullet to play Joan Jett? Well, obviously Bella Swan has to be… I don’t know, dreamy enough so that a werewolf will see her unborn daughter, who he will fall in love with STRAIGHT FROM THE WOMB, in her eyes and thus confuses his love for the pre-baby as love for the mother.
(Oh, uh, spoiler alert.)
It moves naturally-the wig, I mean. There’s no clear distinction between the wig itself and the secondary hairline piece, and, it’s the same color throughout the movie!
You’d think that’s a given, right? Oh, but, it’s not!
Other vampire’s wigs change! They change color, and length, and sometimes they look a little crooked, all in the same movie! (Also: you could say the same for the accents. Carlisle has one now!)
Which would be fine, I guess, except that in movies there’s supposed to be continuity. Also, because this movie is about intimacy and love, there’s no medium shots, as noted. It goes from big wide scenery shots to close ups, with nothing in between, so you really have to look at all those bad wigs quite a lot.
Did they use up the make up budget on Bella’s wig? That must be it, right? Because there is really no real reason why Emmett’s hair is suddenly pitch black in the Big Battle Scene (between 5 or so werewolves and maybe 8 new-born vampires) and cut so as to make the beefy star look like some sort of Slavic Gentleman’s Gentleman.
They didn’t use up all the money going to Italy for three or four extraneous exterior shots (that was the second movie) and they didn’t use up all make up budget on Charlie’s mustache (When is someone going to give that actor some more work? He’s so good!). So… what happened exactly?
I guess I’ll just have to go see it again to figure it out for myself.
EA Hanks is wondering why we can have computer-generated wolves but not computer-generated hair?