Do we still deserve to call ourselves a society?
"X-Factor" successes One Direction (now busy making money for Simon Cowell) have a fan base that, if you are not the parent of a tween, you might not believe. A Directioner can identify the place and time that any photo of the band was taken. They know which interviews an animated GIF comes from, and they analyze these interviews with the diligence of Biblical scholars (or conspiracy theorists). Directioners speak in British accents and use British slang in their blog posts (“favorite” becomes “favourite”; the “boys” are “lads”). They create elaborate images of how they picture their backyard gardens—if they were to live with any of the boys [...]
You wouldn't like the New York Post when it's angry: "Surprise, surprise: The Associated Press yesterday picked up a Pulitzer for its year-long, non-stop hit-job on the NYPD’s counterterrorism efforts. The series was a naked bid to appeal to the judges’ PC sensibilities." YOU TELL 'EM, CRAZIES.
When I was in college, a guy I knew had a really bad day when, at the behest of two platonic girl friends, he drew a picture of where he thought the clitoris was located in relationship to the vagina. He drew it at the bottom. And the girls told everybody. First of all, I swear that I am not the guy in this story. Secondly, too bad Maybach Music Group singer Masspike Miles wasn't around back when we were in college, because he has apparently invented a device designed explicitly to locate hard-to-find features of the female anatomy. I would quote the lyrics to this song, which are [...]
First they came for… etc.
In late 2009, the Washington Post closed its last U.S. bureaus outside of the D.C. area, including Chicago, Los Angeles and New York. (It also closed bureaus in Johannesburg, Rio de Janeiro and Berlin.) But what of its 11 D.C.-area bureaus? Now there will be two.
Back in January, we posed a question : "Dear Insane Silverback Gorilla Bling, What is your sad story? Why were you sitting in the window of an otherwise unremarkable jewelry shop in New York's Diamond District, just after Christmas, amidst other comparatively tasteful—if far less garishly ambitious—baubles?" And now we know: "The jeweler claims the chain pictured is Trent Williams’s, that contains 400-500 carats of black and white diamonds, and that it would be worth $100,000 – $150,000."
You can all stop writing your kids' college essays and letting them live at home till 26 now and telling your friends that they're doing great, because someone finally took gold in "making excuses for your kid."
Police said a 14-year-old stole a car on Sunday then led officers on a chase that ended in a crash on a Parkway East ramp…. "My son was wrong for taking that vehicle but someone jumped out of their car and a 14-year-old seen the opportunity to take the car. He didn't break the car to steal it. They left the keys in the car. I think as an adult we [...]
You know you're doing good when noted rap expert David Letterman exclaims, "You got something there." If this performance is any indication, El-P's new album, Cancer 4 Cure, will be something to get when it comes out next week, and the concert tour that he announced yesterday ought to be a barn-burner.
If you read just one piece of hysterical overheated lunacy today, although I certainly hope you read many of them, definitely make it third-generation rich man and Harper's magazine funder John R. MacArthur's rant about the Internet. The dot com bust didn't end my Internet travails. It wasn't so long ago—maybe eight years—that I found myself trapped in a corridor at Harper's, surrounded by a small mob of what I can't help but refer to as "young people." These youthful members of my editorial staff—one of them now the co-editor of Mother Jones Magazine—were imploring me, demanding even, that I meet the Internet revolution head on by posting [...]
Here is a video of golfer John Daly wearing white pants and an American flag sports coat and performing Bob Dylan's "Knockin' On Heaven's Door" in Thailand. [Via]
"Jennifer Connelly's new born her baby girl Agnes, looks a super cute comfy in that colorful sling. It's be a shame if David Bowie stole her! HA! Luck for Jen and Paul the Labyrinth is just a movie." —Perez Hilton launched a new site that is "a fun space on celebrity parents and all children." ("FILED UNDER: CELEB KIDZ CUTE KIDZ PEREZCIOUS PARENTING")
THIS IS THE PERFECT TREND STORY! This is IT. It is about how young gay men are "increasingly" (!!!) becoming "sugar babies" to pay for college! Let us break down how it works!
• "Kirk is hardly alone in his decision to sell sex in order to pay for school." (Just alone so far in this story but hey, we get more anecdotes later!)
• "An increasing number of gay male students"
• "In addition to a lackluster job market"
• "While young gay men exchanging sex for money certainly predated the financial collapse"
"Two policemen are recovering after they were shot by fellow officers as they tried to arrest a man on child pornography charges outside a crowded move theatre.
"The incident happened as undercover officers tried to apprehend the unarmed man in the parking lot as he left a screening of Harry Potter in Plainville, Connecticut." —SEO DREAM CRIME. DID SOMEONE INCEPT THIS???
What could make the world's mildest-mannered blogger erupt into shouting and profanity? The answer—the AP story "Rich toddlers draw fashion designers' eyes"—may not surprise you.
Remember that time someone wrote a parody of modern media, and in it, they had a company lay off an entire magazine's staff, but the editor-in-chief was opening his own "custom content" shop, which would also provide all the content for that magazine that now had no employees, but at least the new "custom content" shop would hire some of the newly unemployed as freelancers maybe, with "flexible hours and the opportunity to work on other projects" but "not salaries or benefits"? Well, the joke's on you, because it's actually real life! Even better: this is probably the best possible outcome of what was going to happen here! [...]
I have been beefing about the Times media desk a little recently, so it's definitely on me to say that today's story about the pending sale of Philadelphia's newspapers is AMAZING and BRUTAL. The likely buyers—who are being prevented from having any competing bidders in the sale—are former governor Ed Rendell, the owner of the Philly Flyers, a Democrat party bundler and a "parking lot and banking magnate." What could go wrong?
Wow. WARNING: this website for this new gay bar HAS AUDIO AUTOPLAY, but here it is: Flaming Saddles. Mmm hmm. This is what job creation looks like! The press release is remarkable.
I do not have the rights to reproduce this stunning, amazing photo of one Katie Price (formerly known as "Jordan," she is a model, novelist, UK reality star and, uh, "footballer enthusiast") wearing a swimsuit emblazoned with the cover of her own magazine about herself whilst holding that magazine in one hand whilst standing before a backdrop splattered in covers of that same magazine. My point is: ANDY WARHOL WOULD DIE. If he hadn't, you know, unfairly beaten us all to the grave. The reviews of the magazine are in from The Sun: "It's glossy and full of shite." (It also contains recipes however: "Cauliflower cheese: I buy [...]
Here is the most dramatic quote you will read in the newspaper today, from the organizer of a summer camp for girls that teaches them how awesome "manufacturing" is: "Not letting your children learn the hands-on component of the theory of science is killing us as a nation. You have to stop giving kids books and start giving them tools.”
Yes, books are destroying America's girls. (Don't get me wrong, I'm all into girls learning to make things! It's just… let's say, complicated. Since the public schools already funnel students into "white collar" and "worker" channels at an early age.) In other news, the story of [...]