Posts Tagged: Why Not?

How "Adventure Time" Came To Be

Adventure Time is a smash hit cartoon aimed primarily at kids age six to eleven. It’s also a deeply serious work of moral philosophy, a rip-roaring comic masterpiece, and a meditation on gender politics and love in the modern world. It is rich with moments of tenderness and confusion, and real terror and grief even; moments sometimes more resonant and elementally powerful than you experience in a good novel, though much of Adventure Time’s emotional force is visually evoked—conveyed through a language of seeing and feeling rather than words.

The heroes of Adventure Time—a boy in a white helmet named Finn, and his shape-shifting mutant dog/adopted brother, Jake—spend their [...]


Beyonce, "Standing On The Sun"/H&M Commercial

Here's the new Beyonce video, which is also an H&M commercial, part of their Beyonce as Mrs. Carter campaign. It's pretty much like any other Beyonce video, except with far less expensive costumes.


Secession and the City: Let's Get Out of This State!

If it weren't for slavery, New York City wouldn't be in the mess we're in today—that is to say, the mess of New York State. After a detour during the mid-late 1700s, when the country's founding fathers were drafting the United States Constitution in the sweltering provisional capital of Philadelphia, Alexander Hamilton lobbied fiercely for his second home, New York City, to become the official capital of the new union. Had compromises not been necessary to satisfy the slave states—namely, a capital a little closer to home—New York City could be a federal district today. And maybe it should be anyway.


Let's Enter the Great UK Poetry Lottery!

Do you play the lottery? (Ask yourself: are you poor and misguided? Then the answer is "yes"!) Well then why not play the poetry lottery? For £6, and a poem under 40 lines, you have the chance to win up to £5,000 from the UK Poetry Society. (Plus there are nine other returns on investment!) I mean, they're basically just going to pull a winner from a hat, right? So why not? Just write something that will impress Sinead Morrissey! PLEASE NOTE: "Coloured paper or other novel ways of presenting your poem will not benefit your entry."


Gays 4 Bobsleigh

Here is a very homosexualist post-Olympics appreciation of the men of bobsleigh land (including Australia's Duncan Harvey, whose favorite bands are Bon Jovi and Guns 'n' Roses, rowr), ending with a call for a "calendar of naked bobsledders" and the caveat that if you put up one of the few hot bobsleigh chunkos in December, it'll make "Christmas merry for shrieking, starstruck fatsos everywhere." God bless the bears and their enthusiasts, and hoorah for bobsleigh. I miss the Olympics now even though I was sick of them.


Live Blogging Today's Big Events!

1:00 p.m. I know you guys are excited as I am! 1:02 p.m. Okay so. Esta dia on La Tormenta, on Telemundo, things are starting off CRAZY. That hot guy, who I think is Maria Teresa's son? (It might be Simon Guerrero?) He is holding a baby that I think someone wants to take away from him? 1:04 p.m. Now this girl is changing outfits, on the train? I think she is wearing a wig! I don't know what she's up to. 1:05 p.m. Okay so she's off the train. There are all these people on the train station. And she's getting a cab. The thing that's so great [...]


Scammy Beauty Website Discovers That Mexicans, Cubans and Poors are Hideous

Total Beauty, a website that exists to get products in the hands of consumers, founded by the former digital brand manager of Procter & Gamble, for some reason thought it would be awesome to do a slideshow called "Eight Cities with the Ugliest Guys: Do you live in one of these dogtowns?." Yes. They did! (Ha, DOGTOWNS.) At number five, we find a tie between Mobile, Alabama and Huntington, West Virginia, because they are the most toothless cities in the nation. Oh my God, the edentulate are so fug, you guys! At number three? Miami, somehow. (Ugly like Andy Garcia and Timbaland!) At number one? El Paso, Texas. Uh [...]


Who Wants To Be Luke Skywalker?

In the few weeks before the auditions there was a bubbling sense of excitement which reminded me of the beginning of Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. A huge film enterprise, thus far closed to mere mortals, was to let two chosen people not only appear in the film but also perhaps take on lead roles.

I was working at my receptionist job at a local community center in Edinburgh the morning it was announced that Disney and Lucasfilm were holding open auditions for a ‘Major Hollywood Movie.’

"I’m too old, dammit," said Victoria, of the cafe volunteers, "and also they want beautiful, so that [...]


"Texts from Mitt Romney"

Fine, sure, Friday, meme-ish, it's Texts from Mitt Romney.


Have You Applied to be Editor of 'Newsweek' Yet?

The video explains all. Apply within: Or just mail it to 395 Hudson Street, NY NY 10014, ATTN: I WILL EDIT YOUR MAGAZINE THE BEST I PROMISE.


Coke + 30 Hours of Grand Theft Auto = Awesomeness

"While the GTA IV load screen appeared on my television screen, my friend chopped up a dozen lines, reminded me of basic snorting protocol and handed me the straw. I hesitated before taking the tiny hollow sceptre, but not for too long. Know this: I was not someone whose life had been marked by the meticulous collection of bad habits. I chewed tobacco, regularly drank about 10 Diet Cokes a day, and liked marijuana. Beyond that, my greatest vice was probably reading poetry for pleasure. The coke sailed up my nasal passage, leaving behind the delicious smell of a hot leather car seat on the way back from the beach. [...]


EEOC Filings For "Craziness" Double Since 2005

"The number of discrimination complaints filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission related to anxiety, depression and other psychiatric disorders nearly doubled between 2005 and 2009." -Crazy people: they are coming to work, and if you try to stop them, they will sue you.


Going Cheap! eBay Auction For One (1) Right To Marry

eBay, always so handy: "I'm an unmarried heterosexual woman, and since I probably won't be using my right to get married, I would like to give it away."


Rich People From Rich Family Buy House

What kind of world is this, when a Page Six item begins, "Some people still have money to buy real estate." Well of course they do! And now is a fantastic time to buy. Especially if you are James and Whitney Fairchild, who old folks among us will remember as having one of the most fantastic wedding announcements of all time. (His second, I believe.) Let's look back! Both ride horses and play tennis in whites, collect walking sticks and silver cigarette cases and are the sort of people who would instinctively know how to dress for afternoon tea in the Antarctic. On their first date, he [...]


Remembering Elijah Wood's Greatest Performance

Do you remember this? Brian Feldman does, God bless, delivering an almost frame-by-frame recap of MTV's launch of the Xbox 360. Why does eight years ago look like 15 years ago?


The Creative Class is Moving to Moscow, Idaho This Summer

Beginning June 1, a number (unspecified) of people are moving to Moscow, Idaho for the summer. Why? Because it's "a small college town with the luxuries of home (espresso + broadband)." Would you like to join them? They have a Facebook page. And a Tumblr. At least 30 people have committed to going so far. Sign up here!


The Job Board: Have a Job? Want One? Inquire Within!

I'm trying an experiment here. Do you need a job? Do you need an employee? Well come in and explain yourselves! What happens if we throw this post open, make it sort of like the corner by a Home Depot in the mornings, and see what results?


Vegas Bear Hooker Wears Birkenstocks

It's the American dream: a 47-year-old man can, in Las Vegas, while wearing Birkenstock sandals to work, earn $150 an hour. There is some sex involved but really, how is this not appealing as a lifestyle choice?


Pirates 4 Haiti 4 Ever

The Somali pirates are, apparently, going to send large donations to Haiti. For reference, their estimated income for last year was $60 million.


Pretty, Pretty Time-Waster

This is far outside our bailiwick. However, it should be mentioned that this game, called Continuity, is possibly the greatest flash puzzle game ever invented, as well as being a work of art.