Posts tagged as Why Not?
Secession and the City: Let's Get Out of This State!
If it weren't for slavery, New York City wouldn't be in the mess we're in today—that is to say, the mess of New York State. After a detour during the mid-late 1700s, when the country's founding fathers were drafting the United States Constitution in the sweltering provisional capital of Philadelphia, Alexander Hamilton lobbied fiercely for his second home, New York City, to become the official capital of the new union. Had compromises not been necessary to satisfy the slave states—namely, a capital a little closer to home—New York City could be a federal district today. And maybe it should be anyway. READ MORE
Have You Applied to be Editor of 'Newsweek' Yet?
The video explains all. Apply within: nwktumblr@gmail.com. Or just mail it to 395 Hudson Street, NY NY 10014, ATTN: I WILL EDIT YOUR MAGAZINE THE BEST I PROMISE.
Let's Enter the Great UK Poetry Lottery!
Do you play the lottery? (Ask yourself: are you poor and misguided? Then the answer is "yes"!) Well then why not play the poetry lottery? For £6, and a poem under 40 lines, you have the chance to win up to £5,000 from the UK Poetry Society. (Plus there are nine other returns on investment!) I mean, they're basically just going to pull a winner from a hat, right? So why not? Just write something that will impress Sinead Morrissey! PLEASE NOTE: "Coloured paper or other novel ways of presenting your poem will not benefit your entry."
Coke + 30 Hours of Grand Theft Auto = Awesomeness
"While the GTA IV load screen appeared on my television screen, my friend chopped up a dozen lines, reminded me of basic snorting protocol and handed me the straw. I hesitated before taking the tiny hollow sceptre, but not for too long. Know this: I was not someone whose life had been marked by the meticulous collection of bad habits. I chewed tobacco, regularly drank about 10 Diet Cokes a day, and liked marijuana. Beyond that, my greatest vice was probably reading poetry for pleasure. The coke sailed up my nasal passage, leaving behind the delicious smell of a hot leather car seat on the way back from the beach. My previous coke experience had made feeling good an emergency, but this was something else, softer and almost relaxing. This coke, my friend told me, had not been "stepped on" with any amphetamine, and I pretended to know what that meant. I felt as intensely focused as a diamond-cutting laser; Grand Theft Auto IV was ready to go. My friend and I played it for the next 30 hours straight." READ MORE
Vegas Bear Hooker Wears Birkenstocks
It's the American dream: a 47-year-old man can, in Las Vegas, while wearing Birkenstock sandals to work, earn $150 an hour. There is some sex involved but really, how is this not appealing as a lifestyle choice?
Gays 4 Bobsleigh
Here is a very homosexualist post-Olympics appreciation of the men of bobsleigh land (including Australia's Duncan Harvey, whose favorite bands are Bon Jovi and Guns 'n' Roses, rowr), ending with a call for a "calendar of naked bobsledders" and the caveat that if you put up one of the few hot bobsleigh chunkos in December, it'll make "Christmas merry for shrieking, starstruck fatsos everywhere." God bless the bears and their enthusiasts, and hoorah for bobsleigh. I miss the Olympics now even though I was sick of them.
EEOC Filings For "Craziness" Double Since 2005
"The number of discrimination complaints filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission related to anxiety, depression and other psychiatric disorders nearly doubled between 2005 and 2009." READ MORE
Pirates 4 Haiti 4 Ever
The Somali pirates are, apparently, going to send large donations to Haiti. For reference, their estimated income for last year was $60 million.
Live Blogging Today's Big Events!
1:00 p.m. I know you guys are excited as I am! READ MORE
