In the few weeks before the auditions there was a bubbling sense of excitement which reminded me of the beginning of Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. A huge film enterprise, thus far closed to mere mortals, was to let two chosen people not only appear in the film but also perhaps take on lead roles.
I was working at my receptionist job at a local community center in Edinburgh the morning it was announced that Disney and Lucasfilm were holding open auditions for a ‘Major Hollywood Movie.’
"I’m too old, dammit," said Victoria, of the cafe volunteers, "and also they want beautiful, so that [...]
Fine, sure, Friday, meme-ish, it's Texts from Mitt Romney.
The video explains all. Apply within: firstname.lastname@example.org. Or just mail it to 395 Hudson Street, NY NY 10014, ATTN: I WILL EDIT YOUR MAGAZINE THE BEST I PROMISE.
"While the GTA IV load screen appeared on my television screen, my friend chopped up a dozen lines, reminded me of basic snorting protocol and handed me the straw. I hesitated before taking the tiny hollow sceptre, but not for too long. Know this: I was not someone whose life had been marked by the meticulous collection of bad habits. I chewed tobacco, regularly drank about 10 Diet Cokes a day, and liked marijuana. Beyond that, my greatest vice was probably reading poetry for pleasure. The coke sailed up my nasal passage, leaving behind the delicious smell of a hot leather car seat on the way back from the beach. [...]
"The number of discrimination complaints filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission related to anxiety, depression and other psychiatric disorders nearly doubled between 2005 and 2009." -Crazy people: they are coming to work, and if you try to stop them, they will sue you.
eBay, always so handy: "I'm an unmarried heterosexual woman, and since I probably won't be using my right to get married, I would like to give it away."
What kind of world is this, when a Page Six item begins, "Some people still have money to buy real estate." Well of course they do! And now is a fantastic time to buy. Especially if you are James and Whitney Fairchild, who old folks among us will remember as having one of the most fantastic wedding announcements of all time. (His second, I believe.) Let's look back! Both ride horses and play tennis in whites, collect walking sticks and silver cigarette cases and are the sort of people who would instinctively know how to dress for afternoon tea in the Antarctic. On their first date, he [...]