Nearly half of all voters are so dumb they'll completely change their strongly held political beliefs if you give them a piece of paper with opposite beliefs, researchers have discovered. Even the youngest wizards and witches can perform such simple magic, meaning that all future elections will be decided by our oldest and still most believable religious system: magic.
To get people to reverse their opinions, crafty researchers had the test subjects fill out a survey about an upcoming election. After the dummies finished their forms, the researchers used "sleight of hand" to return a form with the opposite answers selected. "92% of the study participants accepted the manipulated summary [...]
As of last Wednesday, two days after his press conference, a Marist poll showed that a majority—56%—of Anthony Weiner's constituents want him to stay in his job, and as Glenn Greenwald observed last week, theirs is the only opinion that really counts (cc: Pelosi, Israel and Wasserman-Schultz.) If I were one of them, I too would recall the following glorious beatdown before I betook myself to shop around for a new representative.
I mean, isn't this what congressmen are for?
The worst of the many bad effects of the media spin 'n' scandal machine is to get our collective eye off the ball, like a [...]
Big changes, civic-minded cheeseheads. We hope you're planning to vote, even if you're one of the 20,000-odd out-of-state students at UW-Madison. The polls are open-and they'll remain open until 8 p.m. (For all you coasties, that's 9 p.m.!) Vote your peer-pressured conscience! You can find your Wisconsin polling place here. Not registered? Not to worry, you can register at the polling place. The ballot you receive will be in English-only, because this isn't the frickin' U.N. And now: to the candidates.
90 years ago today the 19th amendment to the United States Constitution, guaranteeing women's suffrage, was ratified. On behalf of the gender which overwhelmingly tends to vote for the most destructive loon on the ballot, I would like to thank you ladies for doing your best to help save us from ourselves. Hopefully you'll turn out come November, because, man, we're really gonna need you this time.
The Supreme Court has voted 8-1 against striking down Section 5-the "preclearance" section requiring judicial or Justice Department approval of attempts to change voter qualifications in areas historically inhospitable to universal suffrage-of the Voting Rights Act. Voting to strike down the Section: Justice Clarence Thomas. Contain your surprise.
RED: Do not take photographs inside your polling place, fool. Is your Instagram a crime? Likely!
TAN: Do not show anyone a photograph of your ballot or your ballot. These laws—for instance, Oregon's—are commonly phrased as "A person may not show the persons own marked ballot to another person to reveal how it was marked." This is how poll watchers look for forced voting and bullying. Like when your mom checks your ballot to make sure you voted for Glenn Beck or Roseanne or whoever.
Here is the third best video E-40 has made this summer. It's for a song from the triple album The Block Brochure: Welcome to the Soil 1, 2 & 3. It is very good. E-40 has been on a phenomenal run the past couple years—making music as good as any he's made during his two-decade-long career. He's also a singularly charming and lovable representative of California's Bay Area. As you can tell from the first and second best videos he has made this summer.
It's the first Tuesday in November, so you know what that means? That's right: it's time to fucking vote.
There will be no whining about not making any real difference, like that bullshit Freakonomics piece argued, or the weather, or the complete dearth of respectable candidates. This is your duty as an American. And being guilted into voting is what it means to be American. You do consider yourself an American, don't you?
Voter turnout is really high up in Maine. Because people have an opportunity to express their "opinions" on "major issues," particularly "gay marriage," via something called "voting"? And they are excited about that, you see!
According to Iran state radio, seven demonstrators were killed Monday night. Iran's "Guardian Council" (mmm, hmm) has now said it will recount the vote in "contested areas." Is a limited recount enough? Not bloody likely. Outside Iran, people are looking into the raw election data-and howling with laughter. And Ahmadinejad supporters are having some fun with the western media still present and active: "The people who claim vote rigging should look first into the election of George W Bush in 2000 and how it was stolen from Al Gore. The West is a sore loser when it comes to the result of a democracy which [...]
Everyone's going to say the same thing, you're going to hear it all day, sorry to be so boring. Oh, do please go vote.
Now, if you are Canadian, or a felon, or both, which is pretty likely with YOU PEOPLE, I am very sorry. How annoying, I am sure. Or perhaps you messed up your voter registration and you are cowering in shame in your hovel. That is legitimate.
The Guardian live-blog and the Al-Jazeera live-blog of the Egyptian elections are just fun to keep tabs on today. It's mostly just like "I'm excited to go vote!" So far it's the feel-good story of the day! And we'd like to keep it that way.
Yes, today is the deadline to register to vote in New York State. You can register today at the DMV and at any of these state agencies! As well, Oklahoma, North Carolina, some others. Elsewhere? Ohio is Monday. New Jersey and Oregon and Nevada's (in-person-only) deadline is October 12. (You REALLY want to vote in Nevada.) Massachusetts is October 13. North Dakota is next week; California is the 18th. If you live in North Dakota, don't worry about it, you don't have to register! But if you live in Colorado, you really want to vote in this election, and you'd better have been registered by two [...]
Big changes, civic-minded friends! The polls are open-and they'll remain open until 9 p.m.-for today's primary election. We hope you're planning to vote! And we'll have a voter guide later today totally not have a voter guide today-vote your conscience!- but first, the technical details. You can find your New York State polling place here. Even if you're accustomed to your polling place, today you'll find big changes! The ballots look pretty similar to what you're used to but it's a return to junior high school, because now we will use the exciting, time-honored technology of, pretty much, the bubble-scantron test. You remember how to fill in bubbles, [...]