Posts Tagged: Stories
13

Do You Have a Question for Evelyn Everlady?

There are few things I hate in this world more than unsolved mysteries. (SURE, EVEN, YES, WHERE IS THAT PLANE?) To that end, we have left you hanging regarding resolution of the tales of Evelyn Everlady, a woman in New York City who once had the worst boyfriend in the world ever, and who brought us the unfortunately now-real phrase Negroni Season. (As well as the tale of Hank the dog and the chilling story of Foxwoods.)

Next week she's going to bring us up to speed, answering all my questions—but also yours, if you like! If you have any questions for her, you can leave them [...]

2

A Scary Halloween Story

I needed to replace my printer in a hurry, so I went to the Best Buy on Union Square. I’d done my research and figured I’d be in and out lickety-split, but they didn’t have any of the printers I’d read about on www.cnet.com, so I looked around for somebody to help me. It was just like people say. All the salespeople were either talking to each other or making themselves scarce. When I finally got one young guy to help me, he proceeded to read out loud the specs from the same signs I’d just read myself! He was no help, and I still didn’t know which of the [...]

18

Very Recent Williamsburg History

One day, after my Sunday shopping excursion, walking south, I suddenly really had to pee. I raced home, dropped my groceries at my door, and ran to the bathroom to relieve myself. Two minutes, that was all it took. In two minutes I went to retrieve my groceries in the hall, and they were gone. Someone had stolen them. In fury I took out a sheet of paper and wrote in black marker, “Whoever just stole my groceries from my front door, that was my food for the week. Please return them. #5A”. I taped the sign next to my door and waited. Surely, some family member would [...]

3

Stalking the Elusive Ethnotramp of New Britain

From a scientific perspective, of course, stomping through inaccessible rainforest and looking around at random trees is hardly a methodologically sound way of finding a tree kangaroo…. I observed to John Lane that a bunch of Californian college kids in the middle of a jungle sounded like the archetypical setup of a 1970s exploitation movie. And it did seem as though an F/X crew was on the premises. One morning, Lane woke to find a 10-foot web stitched between the same pair of trees as his hammock, an orb weaver spider the breadth of my palm splayed at its center. There were at least three species of scorpion [...]

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"Mrs. Strauss-Kahn": The Heiress Who Married "Some Sort of Cretin"

"Even Kirstie Alley, who is living in an apartment next door, makes an appearance. She crawls on to her fire escape with a cigarette, making sure that the paparazzi below get a shot of her book, The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. An African-American pap takes a few pictures, because there’s nothing else going on, but then she starts yelling about her privacy being invaded, except she yells at the wrong black pap. 'The other black guy is darker than me, and bald, and shorter, Ms. Alley,' shouts the other pap. 'I’m not the same black guy.' He shakes his head. 'But we all look alike, right?'" —Vanessa Grigoriadis! [...]

6

Look Left; Look Right: Who's Actually Homeless?

"You’d meet, say, a cook at a Times Square restaurant standing on the shower line behind the Port Authority bus terminal. He’d emerge combed and shaven in his white uniform and rush uptown to work. You’d bump into a Cooper Union-trained fine artist at the Goodwill Back to Work center in the Bronx. You’d hear from decorated war heroes who could back up their stories with news clippings and medals. You’d bunk down with day traders from out of town who carried two expensive smart phones and an internet tablet, monitoring the market for their way back in. You’d joke around with friendly Africans and Chinese who were just [...]

7

Ernest Hemingway Stories As Told By George Plimpton

Since we're talking about Ernest Hemingway today, as it would be his birthday-here are a few stories from George "And a hot plate!" Plimpton about the man.

5

Diversion Tactics

1. Back in May, at around 2 o'clock in the afternoon, a man stopped me on a busy street in the Financial District of New York City. We were under blue scaffolding, partially shaded from the bright, sunny day. He motioned for me to take my headphones out of my ears—a Strokes song was playing—and after I did, he said in a low tone, "Give me your phone and your wallet."

2. I smiled. I tried to move out of his way. He got into my way again.

3. I asked, "Are you joking?"

4. He poked me in my side. I looked down and saw the barrel [...]

3

The Nobel Prize Site Is Really Really Weird

Alice Munro, "Royal Beatings," March 14, 1977, The New Yorker. At 82, she is the 13th woman winner of 106 Nobel prizes in literature.

But yes yay and all that but ALSO CAN WE POINT OUT that the Nobel Prize site is insane? FOR INSTANCE:

Nobody's going to win a Nobel Prize for website copywriting on this one. There's a lot of "tell us in the comments about your feels!" (yes: "Have your say and tell us what you think about the 2013 Nobel Prize in Literature!") and also a MOST POPULAR LAUREATES LIST??? Maybe it's just foreign, let's live with that. (But c'mon: "How Do [...]

8

Story Has Everything You Want in a Story

Oh yes: this is the story that has it all, baby: Four Loko, insurance scams, foreclosures, a retired ladies detective club, RICO complaints, fake absentee ballots, the FBI, Las Vegas, offshore bank accounts and actual broken kneecaps. Stick with it, it gets crazier and crazier.

2

Spooooooky Stories at the Palmer Hotel

It's the spookiest website in the world, made up (stories about) of terror and spookiness!

18

What Ladies Won't Do with Larry Flynt for a Million Dollars

"After dinner Larry said, 'Come into my study, Terry, you’re going to need some money for the weekend.' We went into his office and he said, “There’s a briefcase by the couch where you’re sitting. Put it on your lap and open it.” So I did. It was full of packs of hundred-dollar bills. Larry said, 'It’s a million dollars. I have this on hand to give validity to the offer.' And he showed me this circular: A standing offer from Larry Flynt to the following women who are prepared to show gyno-pink. One million cash to Barbara Bach, Cathy Bach, Barbi Benton, Cheryl Tiegs…. They were mostly kind [...]

31

My Former Best Friend's Wedding

I came late to Facebook, after going through all the predictable phases: the disdain, the excuses, the stalking via “borrowed” log-in, the particular form of procrastination known as “what-would-I-put-in-my-hypothetical-profile?,” followed eventually by an ambivalent, job-search related realization that I had to bite the bullet. But before I did—before I opened the floodgates of reconnection—I knew I had to pick up the phone and call my childhood best friend. We hadn’t talked in years, but I couldn’t stand the thought of putting our past on the same level as everyone else’s, basically ensuring that our long history would be reduced to smiley, yearbook-style platitudes.

22

A Trip to Cuba

"Nobody seemed to understand the concept of depression-possibly a good thing-or what a burrito was. Were they allowed to leave the country? Some visited Miami every other month. Others said they couldn't leave their province. They certainly had access to the world of entertainment outside of Cuba. Bootleg recordings of American movies, mostly dubbed from cable-equipped televisions in the fancier resorts, are passed around the black market. Cuban televised news had a Caribbean Pravda slant, but its focus on international affairs, lack of filler, and attention to detail put CNN to shame." -Another trip to Cuba.

1

First Reports: Ali Rafie And Revisions Of Fact

The first reports early last week told the story of a disgruntled young man who had been kicked out of a band called the Yellow Dogs, a band of Iranian expatriates. The man, traumatized by his exile and enraged at his friends, the story went, killed his former bandmates before killing himself.

"Iranian 'murdered bandmates' after group ousted him," read the New York Post headline. "Rafie betrayed his bandmates, stealing money and equipment last year," that story went. "Rafie was kicked out of the group, but on Monday returned with a vengeance." A source told the Post that Rafie shouted, "something like, 'Why did you bring me over here [...]

4

How Relationships Begin

"They don’t even agree on how they met. In Currie’s version, he was working the book table at one of [Anne] Carson’s readings in Ann Arbor when, during the reception—while everyone else was enjoying the feast (it featured a shrimp volcano)—Carson brought him a plate of food. 'I have no memory of this,' Carson said. In her version, Currie was suddenly just hanging around. 'There you were, and then you were there more.'"

4

Uncle Hyram in Connecticut

This Nathan Englander story in the New Yorker is pretty great! And in my favorite genre of story, which is "people in a house talking."

17

The Trend Story, Mastered: HuffPo Does Gay College Hookers!

THIS IS THE PERFECT TREND STORY! This is IT. It is about how young gay men are "increasingly" (!!!) becoming "sugar babies" to pay for college! Let us break down how it works!

• "Kirk is hardly alone in his decision to sell sex in order to pay for school." (Just alone so far in this story but hey, we get more anecdotes later!)

• "An increasing number of gay male students"

• "In addition to a lackluster job market"

• "While young gay men exchanging sex for money certainly predated the financial collapse"

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Some Stories Are Too Good To Be True: Mierle Ukeles & Hillary Clinton

I'm so pleased to report that yesterday's story about Mierle Ukeles is, as I suspected, a bit too pat to be true. (It contains "wisps of truths," she says—and they're good wisps!) I'm pleased because I loved the story but I disliked the moral. Also? Hillary Clinton was just coughing in the situation room in that already-famous photograph. This is the deal with narrative, am I right?

23

Stephen Tobolowsky: The X Factor, Part 1

Are you a subscriber to The Tobolowsky Files? The podcast, a project of actor Stephen Tobolowsky-the youngs will know him as Sandy Ryerson on "Glee" and from "Heroes" and the olds will know him from films as diverse as Groundhog Day, Thelma and Louise and Basic Instinct-with David Chen at Slashfilm, just put out its 38th episode. Here he writes about auditions, Memento and the thrill of trying out for characters named "Masochistic Gay Man."

Of all the gates that stand before actors, one of the most daunting is the audition. I imagine because it is the grand meeting of everything and nothing. Hopes, dreams, expectations [...]