Posts Tagged: Smoking

What We Learned From Bill, The Old Man In The Kenyon College Bookstore

  • He saved the world from destruction with his rocket science. He and Wernher von Braun saved the world and all its vegetables.
  • Smoking will make you impotent.
  • He knows "Goodnight Irene" in German.
  • He was raised by nuns because he was an orphan, but he was kicked out when he made a pass at a nun novice. "Early pooberty." He was 9. She was 13.
  • Crazy hats get you a good job.
  • Irene's skin has a pink glow so she'll have at least 3 children.
  • He dated a [...]

U.S. Women Quickly Dropping Dead In Southern & Rural Counties; Is God To Blame?

After many decades of winning the war on death, American women are now losing their lifespan gains over men. Especially in the Deep South and in rural counties, American women in their early 70s are now dropping off at a terrifying rate—70 should be long enough for anyone, but a girl child born today has an expected lifespan of 81 years, while boy children born today have the male disadvantage of a 76-year lifespan.

The question is why women are losing this advantage, if living longer can even be considered an advantage, especially in the Deep South or America's Heartland or the rural Western states.

According to Fox [...]


Let's Make Cigarettes As Boring As Everything Else

"The law calls on the F.D.A. to apply public health criteria — 'the risks and benefits to the population as a whole' — in designing its regulations. It also encourages the F.D.A. to create tobacco standards that will help existing users stop smoking and decrease the risk that nonsmokers will start. The F.D.A. would be well within its authority to require nicotine content to be below addictive levels — an idea that originated with a 1994 article in The New England Journal of Medicine urging a nonaddictive nicotine standard." [...]


American Teens Lamer Than Ever: Study

"Cigarette use among U.S. teenagers fell to historic lows and a four-year rise in marijuana use appears to have leveled off, according to a national study released Wednesday."


I Smoke To Help The Birds

"Research published today in the journal Biology Letters followed urban birds and measured the amount of cellulose acetate (from cigarette filters) in their nests. The nests with more butts had fewer parasites."


Tubby Smokers The Most Patriotic

"Research by the Institute of Economic Affairs argues that a tax on fatty food could actually increase the burden on the health system and unfairly penalise the poor. It believes there are flaws in the current government anti-obesity policies which make them not only unfair but potentially costly. It claims that the obese cost the economy more when they are alive but because they die earlier they avoid expensive round the clock care later in life." Also doing their part: smokers.


Start Poking, Stop Smoking

If you want to quit smoking maybe you should try stabbing yourself with tiny needles.


Courtney Love Adds Her Special Brand Of Danger And Empowerment To Luster Of Fake Smokes

If someone had tapped you on the shoulder in 1994 and said, "I am from the future. Twenty years from now the president will be black, David Spade will still be on TV and Courtney Love will be selling electronic cigarettes," you would have assumed they meant "in person, on the street," with that last one, right?


No Wonder You Smoke So Much: Your Parents Are Divorced!

"Both daughters and sons from divorced families are significantly more likely to initiate smoking in comparison to their peers from intact families, shows a new analysis of 19,000 Americans. Men who experienced parental divorce before they turned 18 had 48-per-cent higher odds of ever smoking 100 or more cigarettes than men whose parents did not divorce. Women from divorced families were also at risk, with 39-per-cent higher odds of smoking in comparison to women from intact families." —Smoking is terrible and kills everyone, but don't be so hard on yourself. This habit, like so many other poor choices in life, can ultimately be blamed on your parents getting married [...]


Ladies Finally Can Die Just Like Men From Cigarettes (And Fighting Wars)

It seems like only yesterday that America's women were finally allowed to be killed in front-line combat. But it was a hollow victory, as so many victories are, because after losing something like nine consecutive wars, America now fights its foreign battles using genderless drone airships that will never cry or come home unemployable.

But ladies can still die "like a man" without even being sent to Camp Victory:

U.S. women who smoke today have a much greater risk of dying from lung cancer than they did decades ago, partly because they are starting younger and smoking more—that is, they are lighting up like men, new research shows. [...]


Ladies: Even A Single Cigarette Can Immediately Kill You

Bad news for women who like to have a cigarette now and then while drinking a six pack of wine: Even one smoke more than doubles your risk of keeling over dead from a heart attack. Results from a three-decade study that followed the health habits of 101,000 American nurses found that even very light smoking dramatically increased the incidence of "sudden cardiac death"—these are the sneaky kind of heart attacks that just knock people over dead, with no warning and no previously known medical conditions.

Light-to-moderate smokers were twice as likely to die of sudden heart problems than those who had never smoked. But those who quit [...]


You Shrink Because You Suck (And You Smoked)

"A new study has found that adolescents who smoke and suffer from depression may be at greater risk for developing osteoporosis later in life."


Denmark Vessey, "Quit Smoking"

“And all this post-racism is killing me/I heard some hipsters saying ‘nigga’ real liberally/I know, some your best friends is niggas/Nigga, please…” —Detroit rapper Denmark Vessey's new song is about Gwyneth Paltrow. (No, it's mostly about smoking cigarettes. But Gwyneth Paltrow should definitely listen to it. It's really good.)


Am I Sad Because I Smoke Or Am I Sad Because I Suck?

"Current heavy smokers are at three times greater risk for major depression compared to former heavy smokers, according to a study published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research. Although the link between smoking and depression is well-documented, the results support the causal hypothesis regarding smoking and depression rather than simply the 'shared-vulnerability' hypothesis."


Terribly Disfigured Smokers Are TV's Fresh New Stars

"She knows how difficult it is to quit, even though—beginning at age 25—she had a sore throat that never went away. She says she quit when pregnant with her daughter, now 32, but then relapsed. She even smoked during her radiation treatments for oral cancer in 2001. It was only after the surgery to remove her voice box that she finally quit, cold turkey." —The new reason to avoid television is the new CDC campaign featuring ex-smokers who have lost various parts of their bodies to their habit, from legs to larynx. If you've already managed to quit, go ahead and give yourself a high five and hope that's [...]


Woman Waits One Sentence Before Mentioning Her TED Talk

"'Sitting has become the smoking of our generation.' I argued this in my recent talk at TED2013"


Sorry, Smokers: You Also Cannot Smoke At "Outdoor Public Events" In San Francisco Now

Does the modest increase in gun regulation proposed by the White House today seem too crazy to comprehend? Here is how quickly big things can change: In the not so long ago era of Bill Clinton's second term and "Friends," when the Drudge Report was what the old people already had as their home page, you could still smoke almost anywhere in California. Restaurants, bars, concert venues, the beach, outside elementary schools. And then the No Smoking laws came to pass, and despite threats of violence by rednecks, within a few months it was all over. Short-lived protests like the "private clubs" that some Central Valley truck stops [...]


On Smoking And Hangovers

"In order to ward off the hangover, Rohsenow suggested to HealthDay to drink lots of water and take a painkiller with aspirin or ibuprofen, but not acetaminophen (Tylenol), because it can cause liver damage when combined with alcohol. Drinking more to keep the hangover at bay, however, hasn't been studied, and seems counterintuitive, she pointed out." —Yes, Science Lady, it seems counterintuitive unless you've actually ever done it, in which case it is sometimes the difference between life and death (or, at least, moaning on the couch or doing somewhat more ambulatory moaning). In any event, this article is about how college students (and, presumably, those of us who [...]


And What Percent of Your Income Do You Spend on Cigarettes? (Is It "Zero"?)

There's certainly something to be said about life, the election, taxation and the classes in light of this study—it says that "wealthy" smokers in New York City spend 2% of their income on cigarettes and "poor" smokers in New York City spend 25% of their income on cigarettes—but I'll be darned if I know what.


The Thirty Year Smoking Plan

“It’s interesting to keep in mind, if you smoke cigarettes, the lung cancer risk doesn’t go up for 30 years. And that’s a really powerful carcinogen. A lot of things don’t show up for several decades.” —Some doctor, in an article which is actually about how artificial sweeteners will kill you with the cancer, but I don't care about that right now. My takeaway is: thirty years! I can smoke for another four years and get away scot-free! Time to go celebrate with a cigarette. It's not going to hurt me any!