Posts Tagged: Rich People Things

Thing You Will Never Be Able To Afford Cheaper Than You Think!

"Want to find a home at a big discount? Look for one priced above $20 million."


The Insane Whole Foods Gowanus Is Open For Your Gentrifying Needs

The Gowanus Whole Foods opened this morning, at 3rd Avenue and 3rd Street in Brooklyn (midway between Park Slope and Carroll Gardens, for you Manhattanites), with a bench-laden parkway along the Gowanus Canal, a hot hipster-manned knife-sharpening station, copious espresso machines, a giant over-sized novelty baguette (WHY IS THIS BREAD SO BIG?), giant hanging hogs, a rooftop beer garden, an enormous greenhouse, and just more of everything than you can possibly imagine. It was mobbed with shoppers within minutes of opening.

Much yogurt. So organic. Wow. Etc.

Just pretend there are stupid captions on each of these photos that are like "Wow the doors slide open when you [...]


In The Permanent Shadow Of Rich People

Developers are about to dim the lights on Central Park. My NYT op-ed:

— warrenstjohn (@warrenstjohn) October 29, 2013

This is an extremely elegant op-ed by Warren St. John about the effects of development along Central Park. A central component of zoning decisions in New York City has to do with air and light—the canyonization of parts of the city, essentially. TWENTY-SIX years ago this month, a coalition of New Yorkers led by Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis won a historic victory for Central Park. At issue was a planned building on Columbus Circle by the developer Mortimer B. Zuckerman with 58- and 68-story towers [...]


In New York City, Topography is Hurricane Destiny

Throughout the recent history of humanity at least, if not all of it, one thing has always been true. Rich people have their primary homes on hills, and their secondary and tertiary homes at sea level. That way when they lose their beach houses, they can fly their helicopters back to the main house.

Two articles are getting a good bit of attention in the wake of Hurricane Sandy: There's this, about the "hideous inequality" of New York: "Divides between the rich and the poor are nothing new in New York, but the storm brought them vividly to the surface. There were residents like me who could invest all [...]


Romney Shocker: Rich Man Stays at Decent Hotels!

Here are the shocking revelations about where Mitt Romney slept in January while campaigning, according to the fine people at Think Progress, who themselves sleep in biodegradable hovels. Uh, the Empire Hotel doesn't even make the list of the best hotels (or most expensive hotels!) in New York. And there's basically nowhere else to stay in Palm Beach except the Breakers. Even I've stayed at the Omni Parker House in Boston! This is one of those topics on which the media is not equipped to advise us. All hotels look expensive to the LIBERAL MEDIA.

The campaign also spent $60 on a Best Western in Arizona, by [...]


Our Holiday Gift Guide for Extremely Rich People

Christmas is nearly upon us. Are you prepared? Let us help with this guide to gifting for every occasion. All of the gifts here are certified by us as things that people actually would truly like to receive this holiday season. (Hint, hint.)


Hermes leather coffee cup holder. $195.


Churning the 'NYT' Vows Data and the Dangers of Self-Selection

Well, it is fun to run the numbers on exactly what "sort" of person runs a wedding announcement in Vows (technically now called "Weddings/Celebrations," which is so dull). The numbers are useful and also, sure, about what you'd expect. Harvard. Credit Suisse. Gay. That sort of thing. But two things: our trusty researcher friends here are comparing education and job credentials to the "average American," which, oh no. Vows is a section that is for New Yorkers, not average Americans. And New York is a funny place. (Full of gays who went to Harvard.) But then also they're dismissing self-selection in a totally untoward way, writing: "There's also [...]


Books We Like: "Young Money"

Kevin Roose's Young Money, in which he spend a couple years with the bright young things from fancy schools who end up populating the analyst desks at Credit Suisse and Goldman Sachs and the other sad and storied firms of Wall Street, is out today, and you may enjoy it! It is a tale of millennials wrestling with greed, sexism, stupidity, New York City, expectation, dumb-ass bosses, the rising lure of Silicon Valley, privilege and the meaning of life. Like all books, you can find it at Amazon, McNally Jackson, B&N, a bookstore near you. This is not a sponsored message, this is just [...]


Man Acquires Money, And Then Houses

Today's least offensive Times op-ed (we can't even talk about this) begins like this: Just five years ago, Adam Fleischman was in a two-bedroom rental with his wife and their year-old son, fumbling around for a career that might stick. Screenwriting hadn’t worked out. Same for finance. He was 38 and, he told me, “It was do or die.”

Today he owns two houses here, one with six bedrooms and a makeshift vineyard out back. He said that he’s toying with the idea of a third in London.

That's about the founder of Umami Burger, but: it seems like that's all people can think to do when they [...]


Shocking Rich People Purge at Rich People Social Media Network!

A weekend of the long social media knives apparently just took place at rich people social network A Small World. The email excerpted above was sent to members this morning. The private social network, sold to Harvey Weinstein and then dumped by him, stopped taking new members back in February. Now they've purged their rolls of what were apparently troublemakers and/or poor people.

Meanwhile, over on A Small World founder Erik Wachmeister's new site, "Best of All Worlds," the interface is busy asking me what I am an expert in. Choices so far include "Art," "Philanthropy," "Farming" and "Hunting."

Do you know more about the A Small World shenanigans? [...]


Enjoy Belgium, French Millionaires

"Julien Berckmans, a real estate agent at Brussels-based Best Home Consult, took five calls from French citizens seeking to buy property in the Belgian capital after Hollande defeated President Nicolas Sarkozy on May 6." —Rich people allegedly fleeing France in advance of regime change.


Dick Joke

Oh dear, here we go again: “Wall Street is a meritocracy, for the most part,” an irate but of course unnamed onetime Citigroup executive confides to junior father confessor Gabriel Sherman in this week’s hallucinatory New York magazine cover story, “The Emasculation of Wall Street.” “If someone has a bonus, it’s because they’ve created value for their institution.”

In the jumpy, suggestible universe of Gabe Sherman, Wall Street sleuth, things really are that simple: The beleaguered financial overclass creates value, in a rationally ordered system of maximally awarded talent. And the clueless public sector, intoxicated on post-meltdown regulatory prerogative, meddles with the primal forces of nature, skews executive [...]


Everything Joe Walsh Has Done in Congress This Year

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My office was invaded by the Occupy Protesters today & all I saw were $1000 laptops & vomit on the carpet. Thank God for #febrezeWed Dec 07 03:49:02 via TweetDeckRep. Joe WalshRepJoeWalsh

I'll just leave this here. Oh, okay, how about a review of Joe Walsh's work activity this year, his first in Congress? Well, it's pretty amazing actually.


Here Is What To Get Rich People For Christmas

"[T]he most popular gift that all income groups want to receive is money, either in the form of gift card, check or gift certificate. Ranking second was clothing. Among those worth $800,000 to $1.49 million, the third most popular gift is an iPad or similar tablet computer. For the $6 million or more crowd (the real one-percenters), the second most popular gift is books or CDs. Fine jewelry was more popular with the affluent than the one-percenters (only 2% of the one-percenters want jewelry this season, compared with 8% for the affluent). Yet the one-percenters are twice as likely to buy sport equipment."


SoulCycle SoulCycle SoulCycle

Twenty-thirteen was the year I got super into SoulCycle. It’s gross but I don’t care because I need it and I love it (ha ha so gross). Actually, wait, that’s completely misleading because I only got into it two months ago. Whatever, it's the best. In October, I bought a block of 20 classes which cost exactly one million dollars. Now I go like three times a week. Over a year this works out to all the money I can imagine in my brain in one go.

Here’s the main reason I go: three out of the five times I go, I cry. No joke. I’m obviously workshopping a [...]


The Ultimate Black Friday Gift Guide For The 1%

What do you get the person that doesn't need anything? Something they don't need, of course! Here's our annual holiday round-up of just terrific things for the rich person in your life. Where to even start!

Well what about… baby cashmere… for babies! It seems so obvious. There's so many choices!

The best possible choice in kidwear is this "Porte Enfant Cuddly," made from cashmere from the undercoat of baby goats and lined with rabbit fur. Just $5,125 at Loro Piana.

Or why not get these baby cashmere mittens for newborns? $275 at Loro Piana.

You and three friends could spend the day with Derek [...]


The Tale of Laurel Touby, Bold Millionairess, So Far

I was recently at a tony wedding party—it was really fun! Hooray for love!—and all the women there were talking about, among other things of course, their dresses. It was all "Oh I got this at a sample sale" and the like. Everyone wanted to be clear that she hadn't paid full price. Many of them even hadn't. It was as if buying retail was a crime. And it was slightly scandalous (as if it were, like, 1890) that one somewhat New York-famous guest was wearing sneakers. They looked like Vans, people thought. But I pointed out that they were in fact Bottega Veneta sneakers—so, expensive, suede, woven vans—which retail [...]


Secret Passageways

You saw these homes with secrets, right? Hidden doors and even rooms! Don't they remind you of a recurring dream you've had for years? I know, ha ha, "those dreams are about a secret extra vagina" or something but actually I think living in New York for ten years makes the subconscious way literal in terms of real estate.


The 1% Fires Back! "I Am a Fat Cat, I’m Not Ashamed"!

Well, here you go. What to even quote? Let's try this! Asked if he were willing to pay more taxes in a Nov. 30 interview with Bloomberg Television, Blackstone Group LP CEO Stephen Schwarzman spoke about lower-income U.S. families who pay no income tax. “You have to have skin in the game,” said Schwarzman, 64. “I’m not saying how much people should do. But we should all be part of the system.”

It's an incredibly hot defensive mess up in there.


What Perfumes Smell Like (Besides Money Burning)

What does money smell like? The Times notes the rapid rise of "sweet" in perfumes, which makes sense, given that pop culture is garbage and syrup, though Prada Candy, God bless. There are also a few holdouts, like Hermes perfumer Jean-Claude Ellena: "Instead, his new Hermès Santal Massoïa, introduced in November, is made of the 'milky' woods sandalwood and massoia. It smells sort of like a tree that’s been through a brutal storm." LOL! (Also, weirdly true. Though also sort of like a ripe melon got trapped in a sauna after being beaten with a cedar bat.) Elsewhere a (terrible-sounding) perfume is described by saying it "conjures an [...]