Posts Tagged: Public Apology
10

Oh, You're Traveling To New Zealand To Apologize To A School Of Salmon? Perhaps I Could Be Of Some Assistance.

Did you read the article in the Times this weekend about the Winneman Wintu, the native American tribe from northern California who are traveling to New Zealand to apologize to salmon? If not, do. Here's this: "As the Winnemem see it, the tribe's troubles began in early 1940s, with the completion of the Shasta Dam, which blocked the Sacramento River and cut off the lower McCloud River, obstructing seasonal salmon runs, and according to the tribe, breaking a covenant with the fish.

'We're going to atone for allowing them to build that dam,' said Mark Franco, the tribe's headman. 'We should have fought harder.'"

13

Dear Residents Of Hudson Street Between Morton and Barrow Streets

Dear residents of Hudson Street between Morton and Barrow Streets,

I'm sorry for shouting out my window at that old lady who used to tie her dog up outside Famiglia's pizza shop. And for my lack of creativity.

26

Dear Tubby

Dear Tubby.

I'm sorry I told you I was a banker.

41

Public Apology: Dear T.

Dear T.,

Sorry for telling you what I was thinking about when you asked me what I was thinking about.

26

Public Apology: Dear Everlast From House Of Pain

Dear Everlast from House of Pain,

I'm sorry for calling you a "Leprechaun of Rage."

19

Public Apology: Dear Guy In The Spiked Leather Jacket

Dear guy in the spiked leather jacket,

I'm sorry if my face hurt your fist.

14

Public Apology: Dear Neighbor

Dear neighbor who lived at 67 Morton Street #3B,

I'm sorry you found me asleep in the hallway outside my apartment.

19

Dear Deb

Dear Deb,

Sorry for making you take all those water-logged maxi pads and tampons off my car.

14

Dear Owner of the White House At the Corner of Northvale and Southvale Avenues in Little Silver, New Jersey

Dear owner of the white house at the corner of Northvale and Southvale Avenues in Little Silver, New Jersey,

I'm sorry for throwing rocks at your house.

23

Public Apology: Dear Proprietors of ThePublicApology.com

Dear Proprietors of ThePublicApology.com,

I hope you're not working too hard, and that the huge amount of money you're undoubtedly making off your Google AdWords™ isn't weighing down your pockets too much. I'd hate to think I've made the commute to your palatial offices in any way less pleasant. Perhaps your limousine is equipped with a treasure chest?

33

Public Apology: Dear Wendy Metzger

Dear Wendy Metzger,

I'm sorry for singing the last verse of "Stairway to Heaven" into your ear while we were slow dancing.

17

Public Apology: Dear Rory's Parents

Dear Rory's parents,

I'm sorry if I conjured up a very disturbing image for you at Jack's birthday party.

It was about this time last year, I think, that we found ourselves talking by the bowl of ranch-dressing dip. Jack was turning four. I was there because my kid was in Jack's preschool class. You're friends with Jack's parents, I believe. One of you works with one of them, maybe? Anyway, you have a son who was at the party, too. Rory.

22

Public Apology: Dear Winnie Loeffler

Dear Winnie Loeffler,

I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable.

12

Public Apology: Dear Peter Arbour

Dear Peter Arbour,

I'm sorry for trying to make you worship my Jim Morrison poster.

32

Dear Emily

Dear Emily,

I'm sorry for wearing sweat pants to our first dinner date and for getting stoned before meeting your parents for the first time.

23

Public Apology: The Collected Short Films

Tim Sutton and Seth Bomse make films for a living and now they've made three short ones based on installments of the Public Apology column here at The Awl. Author Dave Bry feels awkward about them and won't watch-but the rest of us have, and we dig it.

27

Public Apology: Dear Riders of The Powell-Mason Cable Car Line in San Francisco, Late Summer 1991

Dear riders of the Powell-Mason cable car line in San Francisco, late summer 1991,

Sorry for flashing you.

25

Public Apology: Dear Person Who Lived Next To "Kris Friendly"

Dear person who lived next to Kris Friendly in Harkness at Connecticut College during the fall semester of 1989,

I'm sorry for calling you at 2:30 in the morning on a Tuesday and asking you to knock on Kris's door and tell him he had an important call.

2

Snoop Dogg Takes The High Road, As Is His Wont

"I just wanna apologize as a man because I know I was wrong. And when you're wrong, you're supposed to admit you're wrong. You ain't supposed to walk around with that feeling like, Ahh, nigga, I ain't sayin' none of that, nigga! That's not how I get down." From Rap Radar, from Rasha Entertainment, a civics lesson from the always-enjoyable Snoop Dogg.

Man, whoever put the make-up on the promo girls in that clip should apologize, too. (Whoa. Hold up. Wait a minute. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I don't have the proper insight into the make-up artist's hustle and his or her struggle… I'm going to [...]

29

Public Apology: Dear G-d

Dear God:

I'm sorry for not believing in you.