(This letter is an excerpt from the new memoir Public Apology, out today!)
Sorry for choosing Hannah and Her Sisters when you asked me to go out and rent some movies for our family to watch to get our minds off the fact that Dad had been diagnosed with cancer.
You remember, I'm sure, that this was just a couple weeks before I graduated from high school. It must have been a weekend, because we were all at home in the afternoon. Dad walked in to the TV room with his friend David Landy. You could tell that David Landy had been crying.
"The doctor just hit me [...]
I'm sorry for vandalizing your schoolhouse.
This happened in 1985, when I was a freshman at Red Bank Regional High School. Red Bank Regional as you know, draws from the towns of Shrewsbury, Red Bank, Union Beach and Little Silver, where I lived. It was fall, not too long after school had started, and we kids from different towns were still getting to know each other. I was on the soccer team with a guy named Scott who lived right across the street from the Shrewsbury elementary school. Scott's mom went out a lot, and his red-walled kitchen became a place where groups of 14 year olds would gather to [...]
Dear Jews who may have been sitting near me and my friends in Connecticut College’s Harris dining hall fall semester, 1989,
Sorry for making anti-Semitic slurs.
Dear Bon Jovi,
Sorry for throwing empty beer cans on your lawn.
Dear sales rep for a textbook distributor,
Sorry for lying to you on the phone.
Dear Todd and Chris,
Sorry for spilling grain punch all over the box of "Calvin and Hobbes" T-shirts you were hoping to sell.
Dear Mr. McCormack,
I'm sorry for rejoicing over the prospect of your hometown being destroyed.