The first truth of fan fiction is that a good chunk of it is terrible. The second, third, and fourth truths all involve sex. But the fifth truth of fan fiction is that it is often the best way to understand fans—under the kind of pressure and passion that is required for someone to write 30,000-plus words about an anthologic dramedy set in a women’s prison (for free and for a few dozen comments), a kind of reality takes shape in which it is possible to understand the better part of buzz. Like a funhouse mirror (usually a useless metaphor), fan fiction isn’t just entertaining for what it exaggerates, but [...]
If you haven't read the Twilight books (or, like me, read the plot summaries on Wikipedia), then you may not know how the shiny vampire series ends. So I won't "spoil" it in the interests of bringing you this insane and terrifying quote from the screenwriter. But now that I've given you the chance to look away…
Much of the thought devoted to Lady Gaga has considered her as either a financial entity and/or as a marketing entity-or a straight-up market entity, taking into account the fact that currency is attention and attention is her business. (Um yes and business is good!) But what happens when you judge her as an aesthetic entity, as straight homosexualist Mark Dery does? Let us say he finds her lacking.
There is this write-around David Letterman story as the cover of New York magazine this week, and it's worth reading so as to see a much-absent prose stylist at work: Peter W. Kaplan, once the scrappy television beat reporter for the New York Times. Let us turn the clock back to 1985!
On Monday night, Alexa Chung, new in New York as of April 27, went to the Music Hall in Williamsburg to see some bands.
Her hair is growing in from last month's radical bobbing. Then yesterday she didn't do a fucking thing. Tired! She spent seven days here in early April looking for an apartment; she went out three days out with a broker, and partied down at the Beatrice Inn, if briefly, as she was thrown out for turning the lights off and on.
"This is not a mashup album, this is an album about Wayne." That's the tagline accompanying a new mixtape circulating around Tumblr that mashes-up the lyrical stylings of Lil' Wayne with the soundtrack from (500) Days Of Summer. The biggest shocker of all though is probably that it's kind of awesome? I mean, for goofy looking white people, Lil Wayne was already pretty great, but now here he is rapping over a Zooey Deschanel sample and The Smiths (at the same time!). Go download this and then think for a long time about your life and wonder if it should be legal to rap over Hall And Oates. [...]
This is one of those news stories where the jokes practically write themselves. But we think this is a fantastic idea, to adapt Neverland Ranch into a park, because, I mean, what else would you do with it? The only other thing you could probably do is turn it into some kind of museum of insanity or maybe erect some kind of giant pillar covered in glitter as a memorial. Actually, a giant Washington Monument covered in glitter sounds kind of awesome. Why aren't all national monuments covered in glitter? Thoughts?
Wait, the vaguely Asian-looking werewolf kid from that gay vampire movie is hosting Saturday Night Live?, asked the small percentage of America watching TV on Saturday night. As ridiculous as the Twilight phenomenon is, it's no secret that teenage consumers and their Orange Julius and baby-sitting paychecks are fueling the entertainment industry these days. And yet, Twilight's two main stars are about the world's least-accessible actors. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart could give a fuck about anything besides skinny jeans, vintage band t-shirts and looking so over it. Both are highly uninteresting and seem to be teetering on the edge of a fame-induced nervous breakdown. So as "obscure" as 17 [...]
Vanity Fair tummler Jim Windolf would like you to know that Hitler wasn't actually killed by a marauding gang of American Jews. Just in case you're confused, you pishers.
In a move that is probably due to the Large Hadron Collider making everyone in the world insane because of neutrinos and what not, Coheed and Cambria, the prog-rock band that mostly writes about spaceships and evil alien empires, covered The Smiths-they did a cover of "A Rush And A Push And The Land Is Ours," off The Smiths' last album Strangeways, Here We Come. The cover isn't terrible, but it does have that nagging "fantasy rock" sound that seems to accompany a lot of the band's music lately. But if you can get past the goblins and trolls vibe, it's pretty neat. And if you haven't heard [...]
I've been thinking a bunch about what we'll remember 2009 for, besides rampant unemployment and two great flu panics. Mostly that is what I'll remember, but I'll also think of it as the year that the nation became obsessed with jerks and woman-beaters. That Levi Johnston, Jon Gosselin and Chris Brown were pretty much the three most popular "stories" of 2009 is amazing, particularly since those first two haven't ever done or said anything. That all have spent the year pushing new products in the midst of their tabloid scandals is pretty telling. I don't even know what Gosselin or Johnston are selling, besides their brand-but Chris Brown's new album [...]
This love letter to Paula Abdul is rather wonderful, containing as it does this bit: "Not since Joan Crawford appeared, preposterously, as her young daughter's replacement on the soap opera The Secret Storm has a woman on TV performed with such catastrophic bravura."