Posts Tagged: New York Post

New Yorkers Maybe Aren't All Killing Themselves

"Whatever it is, the truth remains: For every hanging or jumping, there’s someone out there in this city who didn’t kill himself — and likely would’ve given in to despair, if he’d been in Las Vegas, Houston or Atlanta." —Don't believe what you read in the New York Post; New Yorkers are less likely to kill themselves than people in other parts of the country, says the New York Post.


City's Tabloids: More Like Mayor de Murderio!

CBS and the New York Post have had it with Bill de Blasio, who made it snow endlessly on our city and then had his wee caravan roll on through some stop signs in Queens. They also did some speeding. (The Daily News wood is hilarious.) No one has ever disobeyed the speed limit in Queens. New York's worst monster! The Post has this to add: "The mayor — who vowed a transparent administration — routinely holds secret meetings and keeps events hidden from his public schedule." Like he had a secret cocktail with Obama's keymaster Valerie Jarrett! This city is a monstrosity. Everything is in ruins. [...]


"Bring Back Bloomberg"! Rich Horrorshows Freak Out Over Fake Snowstorm Class War In Pinhead Rag

Where are the plows @BilldeBlasio ??? @kallos ???? @newyorkpost No Plows uptown!

— MollyJongFast (@MollyJongFast) January 21, 2014

Yesterday afternoon, vicious short-sighted monsterpieces went howling to the worst piece of paper on the whole east coast, like the crazy petulant vampire-children they apparently are:

“I can’t believe de Blasio could do this. He is putting everyone in danger,” said Barbara Tamerin, who was using ski poles to get around 81st Street and Lexington Avenue.

“What is he thinking? We’re supposed to get up to a foot of snow and nobody on the Upper East Side is supposed to blink an eye? I can barely [...]


Come For The Story About Turning One's Back On An Industry That Uses Women For Their Bodies, Stay For The Slideshow

"Kylie Bisutti had reached the pinnacle of her career as a Victoria’s Secret Angel. But instead of feeling proud, she felt exploited. She tells why she turned to faith after the fashion industry put her through hell," in today's Post, which has the decency to wait a whole 9 paragraphs before this:


Media Grinches of Hurricane Sandy: The Liars, The New York Post and Gawker

A natural disaster is a time for class, dignity, exchange of news instead of rumor (ahem, oh well) and a sense of humor where warranted. (Everyone's mileage will vary on what's funny and when, of course. One mild ill-timed joke, and you're the most-hated person on Twitter.) With millions of people without power, low-lying areas flooded and some generally scary stuff going on, it's a little tense! The good news is, here in New York City most workplaces are being sensible with their employees—I mean, they kind of have to be, given that no one can go anywhere, what with every subway tunnel flooded.

But then there's bad [...]


Newspaper Wants To Disguise Price Hike With Quality

"The New York Post is raising its newsstand price to 75 cents beginning Monday, according to sources at the newspaper. Editor-in-chief Col Allan did not respond to calls about the hike. Memos sent to reporters on Tuesday demanded better stories on Monday to compensate for the price increase." —Consider yourselves warned: the Post will continue to suck clear through the weekend.


Today's Lottery Winners, Part 1: Man Mocked For Bad Luck

"I have a job with the state doing work I love. I'm not going to sit around and ask myself that question for the next 20 years. I'm moving on. It's all good." —New York State Homes and Community Renewal Agency employee Michael Kosko discusses his reaction to skipping out on his office's lottery pool, which wound up winning $319 million. It is terrific that Kosko can embrace that attitude (and he's probably fortunate not to have won) in the face of a situation like this. And while Kosko's line about how, working for the state, he feels like he has already won the lottery, will undoubtedly be [...]


What's Behind This Totally Nonexistent Epidemic Of Banker Suicides?

The New York Post is doubling down on a truly grim tabloid story: "What’s behind epidemic of financial industry deaths?" This is a follow-up on last week's… identical story, which was a follow-up to two previous stories, all by the same author, in which "a rash of eight financial-industry suicides so far in 2014" have "baffled" mental health professionals.

But back in the real world, actually the rate of suicide in people "35–64 years increased 28.4%" from 1999 to 2010, according to the CDC. The suicide rate among whites in America increased 40% in that period. In New York City, there are approximately 475 [...]


Ars Longa, Cindy Adams Longa-er

Who can sit through eight-hour movies today? My patience won’t last that long. Neither will my bladder. Just when the killer is about to get apprehended, I’m in the can… I couldn’t stay longer than “Wolf of.” I never saw the part that went “Wall Street.”

— Today brings an already-classic Cindy Adams column, in which the 83-year-old (who's written a column for the New York Post since the year Phnom Penh fell and Patty Hearst was released from prison and Sid Vicious overdosed) beefs about the length of movies.


New Hats For Obama's Marines To Feature Breasts, Vagina: Paper

"Thanks to a plan by President Obama to create a 'unisex' look for the Corps, officials are on the verge of swapping out the Marines’ iconic caps with a new hat that some have derided as so 'girly' that they would make the French blush," reports the New York Post in an EXCLUSIVE so juicy you need to bow down in awe before the crack reporting squad that blew the lid off a story the government doesn't want you to know about for their courage in speaking truth to power no [...]


Tabber Slammer Party Jammer

Haven't seen the Post go in on someone this hard in years. But the Bungalow 8 farewell party for Tabber Benedict, who's off to state prison for drunkenly running down a bicyclist, really gave them an opening: "'I feel terrible for Tabber because I know there’s no table service where he’s headed,' sniffed fellow socialite Justin Ross Lee. 'He’s the most pretentious person I’ve ever met.'"


Controversial "Sopranos" Finale Declared Officially Awesome

“When I first saw the ending, I said, ‘What the f–k?’ I mean, after all I went through, all this death, and then it’s over like that? After I had a day to sleep, I just sat there and said, ‘That’s perfect.’” —James Gandolfini talks about the final episode of "The Sopranos." Much of the rest of the cast do, too. Mostly unrelated: Remember how great Sting was before he sucked?


'New York Post' Outdoes Itself On Dominique Strauss-Kahn Story

Thank God Tom McGeveran has found the words to explain how absolutely disgusting today's New York Post story about the accuser in the Dominique Strauss-Kahn case really is, because I am filled with ineffable rage over the whole thing:

The Post touts its cooperation with authorities in not releasing the name of the accuser, and goes to some lengths in its main article on the D.S.K. case today to detail efforts being made by the New York Police Department to "protect" her from offers from influential friends of D.S.K. to drop the case in exchange for favors. But it reveals that she was living in an apartment organized for [...]


Paper: Police Just As Bad As Educators

You know, when the house organs of the right started attacking teachers, I figured it was only a matter of time before they started going after the cops. I just didn't reckon that it would happen so quickly.


Cake Had, Eaten

"Letting Lis Smith go was De Blasio’s biggest mistake"


Mayor de Foldio Bows To Yappy Upper East Pride

Well isn't that a fine how-do-you-do. Mayor Bill (hmm) apologized to Upper East Side residents and with a wave of his wand, caused snow to disappear. But then! The Post, unsatisfied with their shaming of yesterday, gets stupid people all over the city to complain. ("The streets should be clean already," beefs an annoying man who is crossing the street at 42nd and Broadway.) Jesus Christ people, IT WAS A ONE DAY SNOWSTORM, YOU'LL LIVE, SACK UP A LITTLE. When did everyone get so whiny about some snow? It falls from the sky! ALSO? Such misdirected anger! When did we stop being enraged at the MTA? Fight [...]


Bike Share Not Disastery Enough For Local Tab

Sadly for the New York Post—a paper whose hatred of bikes and those who use them is so beyond all sense of reason or proportion that one is forced to believe it is actually genuine rather than something affected to sell papers or directed by the whims of its owner—no one died in yesterday's rollout of the new bank bike share program, so instead the seekers of truth who staff that periodical were forced to focus on the minor malfunctions attendant to any new enterprise. You will be shocked to learn that they were also able to find a few New Yorkers—a group usually united by its reticence to discuss [...]


'New York Post' Full of Lies

Those "bundled-up youngsters who attend PS 10 in Park Slope, Brooklyn… joined by their parents yesterday for the icy trek to school" pictured in the New York Post's attack on the school bus strike, as part of their ongoing anti-union campaign? "EVERY SINGLE THING about this is inaccurate. My kid and her friend were with our sitter (we do a nanny share, it’s great), who picks them up at school —neither of them were with their parents. I walk her to school every morning because it is two blocks from our house. We do not rely on buses. We are completely and utterly and thoroughly unaffected by the [...]


"This fall, nobody’s more in touch with their inner Lisbeth Salander than the women of Brooklyn"

"This fall, nobody’s more in touch with their inner Lisbeth Salander than the women of Brooklyn, terrorized by more than 20 sex attacks in Park Slope, Windsor Terrace and Kensington over the past eight months…. And now, in an appropriately Swedish turn, regular women can channel their outer Lisbeth, too. H&M’s 30-piece Dragon Tattoo line was created by Trish Summerville, the Fincher film’s costume designer, and distills the essence of her character into slightly less S&M-y threads." —Take back the night, it belongs to H&M. (via)


"Straight Men are Doing Stranger Workouts"

“I think more straight men are doing stranger workouts. A lot more people are going to yoga and pilates… and it’s more social, and people are dressing up a little bit more." The zeitgeist of New York City, according to the New York Post and a gay gadabout. Goodness. It's almost like every young person goes through the same trends every two years and announces them as global!