Posts Tagged: Murder

Seeking Solace in SCUM

At the moment, I don’t feel like praising a manifesto that calls for the extermination of a particular gender. This is my own fault. If I had just filed this essay when I was supposed to, I could have avoided this stupid fucking problem.

But watching my news feeds fill themselves up this last week, I felt like I was being force fed. I could have turned it off. But that felt like the ultimate luxury, to close my eyes and pretend like it wasn't happening. I haven’t watched his videos, or read his manifesto, but his presence has had a drastic impact. I’ve never followed the Didion cliché of [...]


Your Conspiracy Theories Began 700 Years Ago Today

Jacques de Molay was burned at the stake 700 years ago this week. The unfinished cathedral of Notre-Dame de Paris—its towers completed just 65 years earlier—stood nearby as de Molay went up in flames. His death sparked conspiracy theories that have traveled through the centuries, across oceans and Ivy League campuses, and onto our flat-screen TVs.

As the last Grand Master of the Knights Templar, de Molay was considered a heretic by both the French Monarchy and the papacy. King Philip IV of France had him tortured and burned, slowly, on the Île de la Cité, the tiny Parisian Island in the Seine. It was March 18, 1314—give or [...]


Your Insatiable Desire For Adorable Kitty Videos Is Killing Your Plants

Your wireless router could be murdering your houseplants, but I guess that is better than developing houseplants that have evolved to not only survive but thrive on the radiation from your wireless router until they gain some kind of sentient physicality and strangle you to death in your sleep because they are sick of watching everything you use your wireless router to see. I mean, that is going to happen eventually anyway, but it would be nice if we had a few more years before it did. [Via]


What Sinister Forces Murdered All These U.S. Presidents?

What happens when a candidate wins the presidential race and gets that first top-level security briefing in the Oval Office? The comedian Bill Hicks had a pretty good idea, which he explained not long after Bill Clinton was inaugurated.

"No matter what you promise on the campaign trail," Hicks said in a 1993 routine, "when you win, you go into this smoke-filled room with the 12 industrialist capitalist scum-fucks who got you in there. And you're in this smoky room, and this little film screen comes down, and a big guy with a cigar goes, 'Roll the film.' And it's a shot of the Kennedy assassination from an angle [...]


NYPD Honcho Wants to Frisk You Even More

NYPD honcho Ray Kelly lost his minnnnnnd last night. He appears to think that not enough poor and/or black people are out in the streets demanding more stop and frisk, so that there will allegedly be fewer murders and shootings right now. Stop and frisk in New York City already engages about 3/4 of a million people this year—and it would have pretty much "zero" effect on how there were 16 murders in New York in the course of five days earlier this month. (Also, of those murders, three were mothers killing their children, and one was a crazed stabber shot by transit cops.)

This is funny timing [...]


The Only Murdering Murder Guide You'll Ever Need, You Murderer

First things first: Murder is wrong, OK? But let's say, hypothetically, that you're considering committing one anyway: how would you do it? Practically everyone wants to murder someone. That jerk that got the job you want. That guy who gets all his books reviewed while your books don’t even get published. That handsome, horrible dude everyone loves when only you know he is a complete fraud who must be exposed. Jonathan Franzen. Maybe you want to murder novelist Jonathan Franzen. Let’s say you do. You want to stand over Jonathan Franzen's wrecked body as it bubbles over with his own blood. You’re laughing and he’s just kind of lying [...]


Harlem Rapper G. Dep Confesses To A 17-Year-Old Murder

Wow. This is very crazy. Even by the very crazy standards of the very crazy rap game. Harlem rapper Trevell "G. Dep" Coleman, who had a sizeable hit in 2001 with a song called "Special Delivery" and released a good and under-appreciated album, Child of the Ghetto, that year for Bad Boy Records, walked into the 25th precinct on 119th Street on Wednesday and confessed to a murder he committed in October 1993, when he was 18 years old.


They're Going To Kill Everyone You Love (On TV)

Spoilers of all kinds throughout.

On March 17, 2014, a 17-year-old archer named Allison Argent was stabbed outside of a corrupt mental institution in California while battling demons at or near some hour seeming like midnight. She died minutes later. The obituaries went big. There was "Allison Argent was, for a few reasons, one of the most important TV characters in teen soap history," and "Why Allison Argent Matters Beyond 'Teen Wolf,'" and "Why Allison Had to Die."

"In order for Allison to truly exist as her own character, 'Teen Wolf' made it clear that there was far more to her than a [...]


Spoilers for the New Season of "House of Cards"

- Frank dies.


Less Stop And Frisk? Also Less Murder

"Last week, there were no murders at all. The drop comes even as officers are doing only about half as many stop-and-frisks as they did at the beginning of last year."

Bill de Blasio's New York is going to be:

A) A rainbow paradise

B) A gangster's paradise

C) 1979

D) 1988

E) 1992


Gun Violence In America Just Since Friday's Massacre Of Children And Schoolteachers In Newtown


Killer Mildly Regretful

"Thinking back he wasn't a bad bloke, actually." —"A convicted killer has told a jury how he strangled his neighbour with a TV flex after he flew into a rage following unwanted sexual attention."


Spoofing the Dead

Have you caught up on the terrible story of Christopher Ryan Smith? The Internet entrepreneur was traveling in Africa all throughout the second half of last year, according to the emails he was sending his family. Unfortunately, he was dead the whole time, having been killed by his terribly secretly shady business partner. Horrible story! Also, how stupid: you buy yourself six months to get away with a murder by posing as the poor dead fellow, and you don't even flee the country? Moron. Still, gives one ideas.


The Christopher Jusko Murder and the Campaign Against Photographs of Dead Bodies

Recently a news organization published a photograph of a rather recently dead body. The former person in question photographed had been murdered and presumably the news outfit felt that a murder on its local turf had some news value. The victim's family and friends were about ten kinds of furious. Meanwhile, written coverage of the murder and its circumstances was vigorous and regular on a number of New York City-based websites, including Gothamist and the Times, in large part because it took place in the East Village. Year-to-date, there have been four murders in the East Village's Ninth Precinct, though I couldn't tell you what the other three were. [...]


Murder In Los Angeles

I have one spiritual ritual in my life: every morning I check the Los Angeles Times' Homicide Report blog to learn who was killed in Los Angeles County while I slept.1

The Homicide Report addresses two questions every newspaper covering a major metropolis should answer: who was killed last night, and why? But most newspapers don’t do this because the logic of most newsrooms is that not all murders are sexy, grisly, or surprising enough to be written about. The Homicide Report operates on the inverse principal: Every murder gets a story because murder is inherently worthy of our attention.2

The Homicide report is anchored by a [...]


Argument Russian

"A former schoolteacher killed his friend after a drunken argument over which is superior, poetry or prose, investigators in the Sverdlovsk region said on Wednesday." Also: "The killing came four months after an argument over the theories of 18th century German philosopher Immanuel Kant ended in a man being shot in a grocery store in southern Russia."


Premeditated Metaphor Murder

"Once you’ve got this thing baked, you’ve got to get it out of the oven and into the refrigerator and start eating it pretty quickly. Because if you let it sit on the table — I’m going to beat the metaphor to death — the ants will start eating the cake up."


The Chicago Tylenol Murders, 30 Years Later

Thirty years after the Tylenol murders in Chicago, are they about to commission a grand jury in the case? Also, there is an oral history of the Tylenol murders, if that's your sort of thing.


Red State Gun Culture Kills Cops

This is a particularly brutal column coming in the wake of yesterday's big piece on the NYPD: eight black New York city college students reported being stopped and frisked 92 times all told. Meanwhile, also in the Times today, but over on the front page, it's this: killing of police officers is at a four-year-high. The Times plays this really big and really wrong, and calls this "a disturbing trend," but it's actually not. (It is disturbing, of course.) But 2008 was the ten-year low for police officers being killed, and 2012 is, so far, year-to-date, down 49% from last year. So it's actually the opposite of [...]


Pacified America So Much Less Murderous

“The last three years have been a contrarian’s delight—just when you expect the bananas to hit the fan." —Oh my God, right? Although in this case specifically, that is UC Berkeley law professor Frank Zimring, expressing his pleasure that violent crimes are hugely down in the U.S., despite massive unemployment and recession and fewer (well, comparatively fewer) people in prison. Yes it's true! The people are finally satisfied with the reality TV programming, so now there be less hurting of everybody up in here. Speaking of! The two NYC police officers on trial for rape? The case is now on the fifth day of jury deliberations, and [...]