America, you must be exhausted! When you weren't eating yourself into illness, you were busy protesting like a fine citizen. Here's the top five events protested over Memorial Day weekend.

Happy Memorial Day from Nancy Pelosi and Joint Chiefs of Staff honcho Mike Mullen! How will you observe this day? By getting crunk and sunburned in the back yard with your homies? Or by gazing terrified into the yawning horrible future that we have made for ourselves? Choose wisely-and do let us know. Also? As great as that is, there is by far a stronger competitor for best picture of the weekend.