Posts Tagged: Marriage

Ask Polly: A Chilling Cautionary Tale About the Dangers of Getting Involved With Attached People

Dear Polly,

Yesterday, I woke up to an email in my inbox with the subject "Uncontested Divorce Papers." I need to sign them and send them back to the lawyer, at which point she'll file them with the courts, and I'll officially be a divorcée. In order to make the process as quick and hassle-free as possible, the reason given for the divorce is "irretrievable breakdown of marriage over a period of at least six months." The problem is, as far as I'm concerned, that's a complete lie. 

I'd been married for fourteen months and twenty days when my husband told me he was in love with one of my [...]


Ask Polly: How Do I Know If I Should Break Off My Engagement?

Hi Polly,

My fiance and I have been together on and off since we were 18; we are now 26. He was my first boyfriend, first kiss and he is the only person I have had sex with. After dating 20 months I asked for a break to date other people because I thought we were too young, at 20, to be as serious as we were. The beginning of our relationship felt magical. The innocence of first love, having never felt these types of feelings before. I believed in true love and the "one" and knew we'd make it back to each other.

Six months later we did [...]


Ask Polly: Give Me One Reason Why I Shouldn't Cheat On My Wife


I'm a new reader and dig your crazy no-bullshit advice. But I'm writing not so much for advice, but to throw down the gauntlet. My understanding is that always ends well.

The subject is me cheating on my wife. I'm sick of feeling guilty about wanting to, and rationally I'm having a hard time figuring out why I shouldn't because I think it may actually help our marriage and improve the chances of us providing a happy home for our children. Clearly a convenient conclusion but one I've done a lot of thinking about.

Here are the supporting facts:

1. My wife is no longer interested in sex. [...]


Ask Polly: My Best Friend Likes A Guy That I Really Want To Get With

Appearing here Wednesdays, Turning The Screw provides existential crisis counseling for the faint of heart. "Because laughter is only the best medicine if you can't afford the other ones."

Dear Polly,

I am recently hot for a man who is also hot for me. But my very closest friend has been hot for him for a year. He told her after one make out session that he just wants to be friends with her, but she has been hoping for more anyway. She has worried about me meeting him because of potential hot times between me and him. I am not some raging slut. I assume she sensed that [...]


Weird Millionaire Offers To Torture Married Couple In Space For 501 Days

If you're married and old enough to have endured whatever horrors requiring "work on the marriage," space tourist/rich person Dennis Tito has a great plan: He wants to send an adult married couple on a 501-day round-trip flight to Mars. This could be you, and also your spouse!

A tycoon announced plans Wednesday to send a middle-aged couple on a privately built spaceship to slingshot around the red planet and come back home, hopefully with their bodies and marriage in one piece after 501 days of no-escape togetherness in a cramped capsule half the size of an RV.

Young, inexperienced people have no idea what it's like to spend [...]


The Coming Real Estate Disaster for White-People Brooklyn

So the Brooklyn baby boom for the white hipster crowd is in full amazing swing. Saturday in Carroll Gardens is Dadurday! So many bearded tattooed dads in cool kicks. And this crowd (ages 26 to 35, essentially) is relentlessly nuclear. These couples live alone with their one-and-a-half kids. So many scooters with matching helmets. And they are split between renters and owners.

Now, what I can tell you about this amazingly traditional set is that, as they approach 40, about half of them will be getting divorced. I'm sorry! But yes.

The stages of urban young adult life are: marriage boom, baby boom, divorce boom, believe it. It happens [...]


Why The Ads For Christmas Engagement Rings Make Me Uncomfortable

It's not even December, but the "aggravating trends in holiday commercials" list is already filling itself out quite nicely, and right behind the chart-topping scourge of twee that is Pomplamoose has to be the surge in ads for diamond merchants like Jared, Zales, and Kay, all of which have decided that the best way for a man to celebrate the season is to put a sparkly ring on his intended's finger. But all these ads are doing for me, a red-blooded American female, is solidifying my belief that that I never want someone in a relationship with me to feel like they have to "propose."


Ask Polly: I Had a Stillbirth and My Husband Totally Lacked Empathy

Dear Polly,

I think my husband is spineless, selfish, and prioritizes his convenience over my emotions. 

Background: My husband is from another country. We visit for a month or so every summer, when he catches up with friends and family. I am cool with this. (I do wish he might also, I dunno, set some time aside for his *wife* during our only vacation time, but that's another letter). However, he has this one friend whom I would actually happily feed to rodents of an unusual size.

I had a stillbirth almost five years ago. It took a year to figure out what the problem was, during which I had two more miscarriages. They diagnosed [...]


Two Marriages In The News Today

1. "Mr. Vollmann is 54, heterosexual and married with a daughter in high school. He began cross-dressing seriously about five years ago…. He said his wife, who is an oncologist, is not thrilled with his outré experiments and keeps her distance. 'Probably when the book comes out, it’ll be the first she’s heard of it,' he said. 'I always try to keep my wife and child out of what I do. I don’t want to cause them any embarrassment.' He asked that his wife not be interviewed for this article."

2. "We come from very mixed backgrounds. Kitten was raised Christian but is now Pagan. Doll is [...]


Ask Polly: Should I Dump My Stupid, Lazy, Alcoholic Husband?

Hi Polly,

I have been married to my husband for two and a half years. He is a good guy, always doing favors for his family, trusts people implicitly, works hard at his job, loves me and our young kids (2 years and 3 months). Most of the time I enjoy his company, mainly because he has a good sense of humor and is very laid-back. Also, he's one of the few people who can take my shit and not mind.

But (you knew this was coming), we are so different when it comes to a lot of important things. I have goals—I want to go to school to [...]


77% of American Women Shack Up With What's His Name Instead of Getting Married Under God

American straight ladies no longer wish for a white wedding dress the way they did when we had Traditional Values, before they were born, because "living in sin" is the new normal for a nation without a Vengeful God. Now that nobody believes in religion, U.S. women are shacking up at record levels—in the popular 30-and-under demographic, 77% of American girls have "shared an address" with their dudes.

While straight people have all but given up on marriage, gay people have become the only moral examples in a nation that has utterly turned its back on both decency and responsibility.

But some experts say it's not just the [...]


Jesus Was A Square

“This fragment suggests that some early Christians had a tradition that Jesus was married. There was, we already know, a controversy in the second century over whether Jesus was married, caught up with a debate about whether Christians should marry and have sex.” —There goes another "utopian hero." Mark Grief is going to be bummed out.


Mike Bloomberg Wins (Back) the Gays with June (Or You Know, JULY) 24th Marriages

“This is a historic moment for New York, a moment many couples have waited years and even decades to see, and we are not going to make them wait one day longer than they have to.” —You just can't ever stay mad at Michael Bloomberg, because then he pulls one of these—opening up the city clerks' offices on Sunday, July 24, the first day gay marriage is legal in New York State. (Servicey note: smart gays know you can apply online in advance.)


Real America: The CEO of Target and Institutions of the Anti-Gay Christian Right

When Target's CEO said he was "sorry" last week for his company's donation to anti-gay causes, AP, CBS, TPM, AOL and a number of other acronyms declared that Target had apologized for its political donations. Yet, anyone who had ever had an intense fight with a spouse or lover knew the "I'm sorry it made you feel that way" nopology when they heard it. A deeper look at Target's Gregg Steinhafel, his political team, and his engagement with anti-gay Christian organizations may explain why the CEO's actions and statements on supporting gay equality don't mesh-and why they probably won't anytime soon.


Ask Polly: I Thought My Mother-in-Law Was Going to Kill Me at My Wedding

Dear Polly,

How can I put away the fact that when I got married ~1.5 years ago, my now-estranged mother-in-law's unchecked borderline personality disorder detracted from the whole event?  

I'm not a wedding person. I never was. My partner, The Boy, and I got married for health insurance after I successfully defended my thesis in 2011. Sounds cold, but we'd been living together for several years at that point and were completely happy continuing our relationship that way. We were both fried from my grad school experience, during which everything up to but not including actual physical assault occurred. I had to play an absolutely horrifying game of being the bait, [...]


Ask Polly: Should I Give My Commitment-Phobic Boyfriend An Ultimatum?

Dear Polly,

Is it possible for someone to have commitmentphobia while simultaneously professing enthusiasm for commitment—all while not doing much about commitment, either way?

Let me explain. For the past year and a half I've been dating a man in his early 40s. I am in my mid-30s. Most of our friends are married, cohabitating, have kids, have houses. You know the drill. I have never pushed on these issues, mostly because I don't feel the need: I have a career I like, friends and family and hobbies I love, a nice place to live, the ability to pay my own bills. My life is full and rich, and [...]


Ask Polly: My Husband Has Road Rage, An iPad Addiction, Terrible Breath, And Hasn't Worked In Years!

Appearing here Wednesdays, Turning The Screw provides existential crisis counseling for the faint of heart. "Because even Bumbles bounce!"

Dear Polly,

I met my husband when I was 26 in 2003 and got married in 2006. In short, we've been together for 11 years now. The first five years were great. Then bit by bit he started getting comfortable to the point where he wouldn't take care of himself like he used to. And due to work-related and financial stress, he prioritized that over our relationship. He hasn't worked from the time we met and takes antidepressants for his vertigo which kills the sex drive.

It is impossible [...]


Republican Senator Now Supports Gay Marriage

"Ohio Republican Senator Rob Portman, a longtime opponent of same-sex marriage, said on Friday he now believes gays have a right to marry after learning two years ago that his son is gay." —If every elected Republican with gay family or staff makes Rob Portman's journey, the supposedly partisan issue of people getting fair access to the rights and financial advantages of marriage would go away pretty quickly, wouldn't it?


Gay Marriage, 40 Years Ago

Here's a picture of two hot guys trying to get married. In 1971.


Woman Saves Husband From Tiger

"I was terrified and I used all my strength to punch the animal in the face, but it would not budge. I had to wrestle with it to keep its jaws away from me, and it would have clawed me to death if my wife had not arrived." —It's a great day for Malaysian couple Tambun Gediu and Han Besau. Gediu was squirrel hunting in the jungle near his home in the northern state of Perak when he was attacked by a tiger. Hearing his screams, Besau ran out of the kitchen and beat the ferocious beast with a wooden soup ladle until it ran away. Gediu is in [...]